Someday: Favorites

Mar 2020 Someday

they

Mar 2020 Someday

River

they

this person i know
wants to be called they
it could bring us much closer
to see them that way
its a strange thing to think
and harder to say
but they is so happy
when the effort is made
to all the theys and thems
it is this i pray
we be kind and accepting
and just let them be they

this is not my poem i dont know whos it is i saw it on instagram

#pride #love #they #them #happy #gay #lesbian #nonbinary #transgender #people

Mar 2020 Someday

Gender

Mar 2020 Someday

Bede

Gender

What is it, how can we tell?
Are we forced into it, a cell?
A trapped enclosure, a set of ways
Dedicated to telling one how to be.

Not inherently bad,
But dangerous,
When we talk about
Dreaded gender.

Keep your codes for morals
Let me wear my skirt.
My dressed all lay dusty
Because I was afraid I would be
Looked at
As lesser.

No longer,
For I am truly,
Not akin to a single
Form of gender.

The one true way
That of self-realization
Comes from the acknowledgement
That I am me
Male, female, none, both.
I am Bede.

#gender #nonbinary #agender

Mar 2020 Someday

Never

Mar 2020 Someday

Lorenzo Neltje

Never

I walk through the doors,
Present the child with a tiny badge,
Yellow, white, purple, black.
I watch the smile spread across their face,
As I call them
"Captain; dear; Mx. Eli; child"
Do not tell me that they are not real
Do not tell me that they are confused
You have never known the inner workings
Of the mind of a child,
You dictate their thoughts and dreams and imaginary friends and fathers.
They are not confused
They know their mind
And they know the world they will grow up in
Will be nothing but cruel to them -
Nothing but cruelty to the little lost boys and girls and neithers,
Because if you cannot experience it then it must not be true,
And you must make up lies you imagine your father must have said
From his passive, uncaring position in the clouds,
Watching drama unfold like a game of Sims.
Tell me I'm going to hell. I'll see you there.
And never talk to my sibling like that again.

#nonbinary #trans #sibling #anger

Mar 2020 Someday

One Day

Mar 2020 Someday

Em or Finn

One Day

Why ...

Why is it that I wake up
And can already hear you arguing
Your voices implanted in my mind
Where no one else can listen

You control me
But I like to think you don't complete me
Because if you did
I'd be aggressive, mean, and everything I don't want to be

So I have to ask
Since I'm the only one that can see you
That can hear you
Why do you destroy me?

Your words affect me
You tell me how to dress
How to walk
How to talk
How to live

But I don't know if I'd call this living
Being stuck in my head,
You must not consider yourselves living either
Yet you have all the power

One day, you'll be in harmony
Rather than at war
One day we'll be a family
I just hope it's before you **** me

Gender feelings.
Sometimes it feels like I have a feminine and masculine version of me at war in my head. And since they've been a bit loud lately, I thought I'd write about them.

#lgbt #lgbtq #gender #nonbinary #fighting #mental

Mar 2020 Someday

A Queer's Last Wish

Mar 2020 Someday

Sh

A Queer's Last Wish

When I die,
Don't let me die straight.
Don't let the world think that I enjoyed *** and romance strictly with the opposite ***.

When I die,
Don't let me die cisgender.
Don't let the world remember me through misgendering.
Don't let them bury me in the wrong cloths,
Don't let them cover it all up with their fancy words.

History came as history goes,
Twisted with every word.
Just because I talked to that one once,
doesn't mean that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with them.

Take the evidence, don't throw it away.
Don't let it rot as it's being washed over again.
Hold it up, don't let them bury me deep down in their lies
Pass it around, don't let them ignore my cries.

Don't let them walk over my grave as I lie.
Don't let them erase me when I die.
If I am to be remembered somehow,
Remember me as the queer that I was.

Found this in my notes from awhile back and you know what? Mood

#history #queer #lgbtq #queererasure #trans #nonbinary

Mar 2020 Someday

To Mom

Mar 2020 Someday

Jay

To Mom

if I told you
the "F" marked on my
birth certificate wasn't me
would you tell me how wrong
I am?
how I'm too young
to know or think something
like that?
if I told you I'd rather
flatten my chest
deepen my voice
shorten my hair
be called something
you think I'm not
how would that turn out?
I hope one day
I can tell you how I feel
without the fear or proof that
to you
I wouldn't be a child
playing dress up

#lgbt #coming #out #parents #mom #nonbinary #closeted

Mar 2020 Someday

Stranger in the mirror

Mar 2020 Someday

Aspen

Stranger in the mirror

Where is home? Where is the place that I belong?
I stare into the mirror and see someone else
Long hair, makeup, wearing a dress
Why is my reflection a stranger?
Why isn't the place where my soul dwells
not a place I can call home?

Where is the place that I can go
when I need someone to rely on?
Where is the place where someone understands?
Where is the place where I don't have to hide?
A place where I can let my guard down,
and break the walls that surround my heart

When can I spread my wings?
When will I arrive
To a place where I can finally see myself in each mirror I turn to
To a place where I belong?
To a place where I can call home?

I know the fight to get home
Is a long and hard one,
full of pain and sorrow
Full of tears and bitterness
Though I am in a dark tunnel now
I can see the light, at the end of the darkness
a place where I can truly be me
A place where no one stops and stares
and asks me what is wrong with me
A place where no one looks at me strangely
A place where I don't have to be scared

It's not my time to spread my wings yet
But when I do, I will touch the sky and be at the peak of my life
and finally...
be surrounded by people I can truly call a family
A place full of love
A place where I can truly be me
To a place I call home

Soooo...I think some of you know and it's kinda obvious because it's in my description. I am agender...and although I may not be in the most supportive place where I can truly be myself, I know that the time will come where I can finally spread my wings and truly be me. Thank you so much to all my allies who support me! To the people who are struggling with issues caused by ****** orientation/ gender identity, you are not alone...don't give up! Remember that you are valid and loved and that one day, you will be able to spread your wings and be your true authentic self!

#agender #lgbtq #nonbinary

Mar 2020 Someday

speaking sunday.

Mar 2020 Someday

ianne

speaking sunday.

so the Bible said
Adam and Eve
not Adam and Steve
or Eve and Stacy
or anything else in between
i sat in church last Sunday
and unknowingly, as the priest spoke
i got a
headache.

let me tell you about someone who spoke
jackhammer
into my bones and nails in my skin
how we want to go to sleep
but cant
because the way her texts sound in my head
keep my body from making more melatonin
she is way too bright
to stay in my life

i get home everyday and my family asks me
if i've met a good man yet
they started dating at 16, they said
if you don't find a boyfriend soon
people might think you're gay, they said
my mother's voice sound like
ice-pick on grass, silent and blunt
tears out chunks of me every time she swings
my father makes gay jokes at the dinner table
saying how ***** they can be
blame the victim for the disease
and i can't keep living this double life

let me tell you about a girl
all jack-hammered sunflower
light green footsteps on rose
her laugh is so unforgettable
i forgot how to speak sunday
let me tell you about a girl
so ******* gorgeous
get-anyone-to-do-anything
got me wrapped around her finger
golden guardrail with my grasping for my life
her every sentence an adventure
every moment together seemed to defy time

i still life with my parents
still surrounded
seeing stained glass sundays
heteronormativity in the carpets
we went to a different church last week
and the Gospel called me out
said that to love is to love
and to be loved is to loved
so why, God, did you will me into existence
when love isn't my strongest sense?

three pews across mine
a familiar flair of blue and white
the hymns of yellow and jackhammer spark
we lock our eyes and she unlocks my heart
with a smile
let me tell you about someone
who spoke jackhammer and conviction
all rainbow and bleeding
her every step lift step
turn
spreading color into places that didn't believe in their existence

maybe someday i wouldn't have to live on a tightrope
and i could open my mouth and let her name fall off my tongue
without worrying why and who threw the first brick at Stonewall

maybe someday
i could come home with her in hand
let her speak jackhammer blaze into my walls
and renovate the way my parents know me
change the pattern in our floorboards
switch the vocabulary in their speech
but that's someday, not today
so i will pretend to speak sunday
and beg forgiveness in someone who i'm told doesn't tolerate me
while i wait for these jackhammer to break down these walls
and instead of us fighting
let everything else
fall.

copyright | ianne.

i came out to my parents recently as both gay and non-binary. i was greeted with many trips to our local catholic church. the rest can speak for itself.

#lgbt #gay #lesbian #nonbinary #poet #poem #anger #heartbreak #homophobia #society

Mar 2020 Someday

call me basil

Mar 2020 Someday

basil

call me basil

my old name is dead
but i'm afraid to bury it

#deadname #trans #nonbinary #lgbt #queer