i always thought
i'd never run out
of chances
to start again,
to make things right
with you,
using you—
the epitome of
leniency
always so forgiving
even on days when
i don't even deserve it
i can't quite describe
your omnipresence,
your existence
that transcends us all
mortal beings,
your faultless consistency
is also our downfall,
you bear witness to
our daily sufferings
and ephemeral joys,
our short-lived youth and
eventual demise,
the only constant
then, now, and forever

but what is
the point of
hoping
still
if
our countless
chances
to start over
inescapably
end with
us
crashing
all
the
****
time

she was the moon
radiating the night sky
and dancing among the stars

you were the darkness
the shadow that waxed and waned
through the phases of her life

she grew to believe
that your presence
is what made her whole

but like the full moon
she shone brightest
without you


x.

i don’t know why it was so hard to admit. i was in love and i didn’t even want to notice it.

i now see it and i understand. how to not be in love with her. she was everything i ever dreamed. we were so mentally close it was scary for both. or maybe .. just for me.

but now she is gone. disappeared. perhaps lost. and im such a fool.

why did i realize that feeling was love when she is already gone?

i guess i was scared. or too busy falling for her.