"No. Don't. Just stay inside."
As you say. I don't dare ask why.
"It is nice this way. And I can hear your heart."

"It sounds so loud."
(You treacherous heart)

But that wasn't the deal.
And how can I handle that?

...

What was the deal?
"This is just ***."
No kisses or romance or...

"Let's just forget."

...

I tried. Wished to. But I wonder you see...
"Just leave me alone. I won't talk about that."
...you censored the things that troubled you still.

"That is hilarious. And you are sad."

And your schadenfreude is not humane.
"I don't know what that is. I also don't care."
But I knew your humanity all too well.

"Stop talking about it. And thinking too."

I have still the right to ******* care about you!
"Look. Cut it now. All my friends know."
I feel betrayed and now the end appears close.

...

"Oh, well, you know. I may have possibly found you love-able. Once."

You mean ****-able, right? Can't mean anything else.
"Why are you talking like that? I don't like it. It is not you."
(So-over-you attitude) (Couldn't-care-less eyes) -I won't budge.

She's tearful, now, and then she smiles.

Just when I was giving in.
"This is such a funny thing!"
Almost impossible. Anger me, please!

I once couldn't stand one bit, you looking sad.

Faking is not me. You did deserve it.
"Well, night now. My boyfriend has come."
You'll have *** till dawn and boring chat. You told me so.

I walk to my room, and insanely alone,
I shatter my mind with one simple truth:
I loved you too much. You couldn't say you loved me back.

"It was just ***** back then. Didn't think that much."
And I was just a friendly mistake.
Mea culpa and it's gone.

it was an evening with rain
     the sun was shrouded by clouds
monsoons were embracing the trees
     awaking the scents of the earth

on the hill at the edge of the city
     a rock turned into a nest
for unripe bodies to hide
    soaking, burning, bare

every colour suddenly faded
     in memory and summer mist
it only remained in the lips
     and a few droplets of blood

Its midnight
And I feel like I am steadily
Whispering into everyone's ears
For them to lay down their guns
Loosen their nooses
Throw away their knives
And keep surviving until
It becomes thriving

But on the inside
In my fragmented ***** they call
My heart
I am breaking
Crumbling
Cracking and convulsing

And air is filling me up
But the will to live is dying

And I can't tell anyone because
Everyone is walking on the grand
Wall between life and death

How could God exist when we
Have the power to end it all
With the small jump off the step stool
Or the **** of the finger
How can something that is suppose
To control everything and see everything
Be so powerless when it comes to death

Why does this keep happening
Why won't it stop

you're so smooth and i'm so rough
all of these rough edges will cut someone one day
and i won't be alive to help stitch them up

Petals drifted through our garden, and rested on her toes.
Sprigs of rosemary waltzed in the wind
and time captured the orange peel of her hair with perfection, a memory kept hidden in the pocket of my jeans.
The air had embraced indigo violets,
their scent imprinted on the collar of the breeze.
I get to my knees and hold the stalk of a forget-me-not,
And whisper she loves me,
She loves me not.

i keep telling myself to stop using you to self medicate

but the sound of your name is enough to close my wounds

remember the night I told you that you're my home and that

i wrote my poems on my skin because i wanted to place them somewhere you would notice

i asked you to take me to the mountains so we could fall in love at the highest peak

you said you wanted to reach into the sky and pull down a star for me

i don't even know who i am anymore. i'm stuck between the person i was before you and the person i am with you.

and now you're gone

sincerely, a girl who could never apologize for loving you

I'd like to pretend I lean in and kiss you
I'd like to pretend I look like her,
I'd like to pretend everyone looks at me
But in reality I'm just a girl in a Steamboat Sweatshirt
With a dorky smile that makes her face wrinkle
Who is ignored more than she'll admit
And still winces slightly when seeing a mirror
But I think I'll go back to pretending
It's much more fun anyways...