Because this life is like the vast sea,
And I do not how to swim,
And the anchor keeping me afloat...


*Is you

I was never good at loving from a distance,
If that's my fault,
I'm guilty as charged

May I tell you?
In all the inappropriate words,
How much you move me;
How your very existence,
Leaves me speechless;
How your smile,
Hides your dark, but lights up my world;
How I've made a home of you,
And I'm feeling homesick under this roof;
How you may have the most twisted life,
But I still feel the most uncluttered with you;
How you've become everything,
My sun, the force my world revolves around;
How every thought has an underlying thought of you;
How it has become impossible to deny the inevitable bond that you may sever, but I will always, always, always hold close,
As close as a heart and its heartbeat,
As close,
As we

Your experience justifies your disbelief in miracles;
Your existence justifies my belief in them.

I'm glad I met you,
As brief as our walks in each other's lives may have been,
I'm glad,
For at least my belief in goodness now has a face

You were holding yourself together with glue and tape,
I wanted to help,
So I foolishly flung a bucket of glue at you,
And then cried foul when you broke

Loss was inevitable;
Yours or mine,
Was mine either way

No one has the same skin as you,
That rough yet soft texture,
The way the veins in your hands would surface,
When you held something gentle,
Or when you exerted force,

No one has the same touch as you,
When you shake hands,
Or when you touch a pimple and say,
"What's this?"
"You still look pretty as always"

No one has the same eyes,
That lit up when you laughed hard,
But always carried a weight in them,
Like the surface of the sea,
Hue-lit, but hiding a world beneath

No one has the same fat nose,
That gets fatter when you're angry,
And makes me want to pinch it
And then go for those boney cheeks

No one has the same smile,
That speaks many languages,
That comforts me, loves me,
Makes me weak in my knees,
Touches me, hurts me, trusts me,
And eventually... breaks me

It's your journey,
And a single ticket is all you've got,
You were kind enough to let me in on your travels,
Thank you,
I've learned but an ocean full of secrets,
And I could go on forever,
Around the world and back,
With you
But a single ticket is all you've got,
So for my borrowed and stolen time,
Thank you,
And safe travels, my love

To see the shimmering horizon,
In your sunset brown eyes

Farewell, my love
I'm coming to question why you were sent into my monochrome life,
To fill it with breathtaking colours?
That eventually took my breath away -
Alas,
It's time to set you free,
It's time to set me free,
I can't say goodbye;
So farewell, my love

Maybe I remind you, of the love you once had
Maybe I remind you, how vulnerable you once were,
Maybe I remind you, of things you forgot you could feel,
Maybe I remind you, of a wound you thought had healed,
Maybe I remind you, of the pain you ignore,
Maybe I remind you, of the insanity you escape,
Maybe I remind you,
Maybe I remind you, of everything you want to forget,
Maybe I remind you, of an old regret,
Maybe I remind you,
You are human

Unfortunately your heart has been touched,
Now it wants more

And then she decided to stop loving the nice people,
She began to prefer the company of the outspoken ones,
The ones she knew would hurt her,
Because the nice people, the ones that seemed too good to be true,
Usually weren't,
And nothing cushioned the blow when you didn't expect it

And she thought,
Maybe that wasn't the way to live,
But it was the way to survive

There is nothing romantic,
Nothing beautiful,
Nothing insightful,
Nothing strengthening,
Nothing poetic,
About missing you
It plain *****.

How are you?
I'm good. What about you?
Fantastic

How was your day?
Not so great. Yours?
Oh I've seen better

How's it going?
Pretty well actually, how about you?
Never better

Do you see?
I ask about you,
So that I know about me
And you thought you're being pathetic!

I've come to think,
When you place someone on a pedestal,
And make them aware of it,
Even if they deserve it,
There's a burden you've placed on their shoulders,
A certain responsibility,
To live up to your idea of their being,
You stop them from being human,
Yes,
Placing people on pedestals
is an inhuman act

It It began with my broken, shaky, nervous words,
This friendship,
Then you made it a song,
My broken, shaky, nervous words have resurfaced,
But I guess only you know where that's coming from

It has two kinds,
One, does not end - a perennial wait for you;
One, bound in a moment - wrapped in your embrace

You are mine
Not a posession
But mine - an *extension

Drawing answers from silence,
Where's the silent language of us?

Every single day chronicled in my head,
How do I get you out?
I can't even seem to get out of bed
Every conversation, every laugh, every secret,
In my veins, omnipresent
I don't take you for a lover, my brother
I take you as my own,
An extension of I - an ego, a child
Tell me then, how do I let go?

Exquisitely scented, beautifully petalled, long stemmed,
You shared them with me in all their glory,
I was in awe of their splendour
But then I noticed, they had thorns too,
Thorns which didn't reduce their beauty, rather made them real,
When I asked you about the thorns,
You hid your callused hands away,
And denied their existence,
You didn't want to lose the admiration of their beauty,
And I didn't want to overlook the reality of their thorns,
Meanwhile, the roses withered

I'm only human,
But that's only what you are too,
You hurt me as you're hurting yourself,
Two hurting humans, whose cure's each other too

Pour all your hate over me,
Drench me in your angry showers,
Watch me dance in the rain,
Exhaust those dark clouds you've carried,
When you're done,
When the real storm comes,
From those heavy, vacant, beautiful eyes,
I'll be right here

I kept apologising,
I didn't know for what exactly,
I kept saying I was sorry,
I felt I'd wronged you,
I'm not sure how,
But I'm sure I had,
So I kept apologising,
You were angry at me,
You refused to tell me over what exactly,
Maybe you didn't know either...
So there I was,
Sorry
And there you were,
Angry
And here we both are,
Relentless

Tired of this person I've become,
Not what I intended to be
23 years of being her,
And look what it's done to me
A reflection of everyone that touches my heart,
With no true identity of my own,
A fruitless, strong barked, withered leaved tree,
Of seeds the grim reaper must have sown
I feel shallow, and vacant,
I feel old, but still nascent
With the Midas touch of crap,
I destroy everything I touch,
I appease the people I hate,
And hurt the ones I love much!
Careful where you stand,
Quicksand is potent here,
Make a decent life of yourself,
Don't let me come near

I'm lost,
In all the books I read,
In all the people I meet,
In all the songs I hear,
In all the quotes I save,
In all the pictures I take,
In all the efforts I make

I'm lost,
Desperately searching,
For an answer,
For a purpose,
For a life,
For myself

I'm lost,
Drowned by diktats,
And a disregard of them,
Drowned by the urge to please,
And by the conflict to not

I'm lost,
And until I find myself,
I'll remain lost,
In a variable you.

Let the light inside you shine bright,
Illuminating the darkness outside -
Which would otherwise consume you raw

What did I do to deserve your hate?
I convince myself that's a language of love too;
You've been spoken to in that language for a long time now,
Perhaps, that's the reason,
Being a lover yourself,
You still resent the language of my love

I keep tugging your legs,
They keep kicking me off

At the desperate hour,
Nothing can matter
When the brakes are being pulled,
But you've already accelerated beyond control
Who will you pray to?
When your God is laughing in your face;
Crying at his reality;
Damning your efforts
Irrespective of intent,
You fueled the fire you wanted put out
What will you do then?

And even when you thought nobody understands you,
Somebody understood

And even when you thought nobody sees your struggles,
Somebody saw

And even when you thought you don't deserve love,
Somebody loved

I am your heart, I am your brain,
I am your balm, I am your pain

I am your confliction, I am what you abhor,
I am the keeper of your secrets, and of so much more

I am the racing pulse, and the throbbing vein,
I am the fuel of insanity, that oddly keeps you sane

I am the untouchable, that you know you want to touch,
I am the subject of your elusion, when you’ve had too much

I am your guard, that you guard yourself from

Not all love is the same,
Not all love can be the same;
Understand what I mean when I say,
It's not that you haven't known love,
You just haven't known me

Tell me now, that it'll be okay,
Tell me somehow, we'll find a way,
Tell me it isn't a one way street,
Tell me, please tell me, crossed roads will meet

I'd take a bullet for you,
So go ahead, shoot

"Don't worry about me, I am not your problem"
Oh but darling, you are my *solution

We are what we are,
And we are nothing more,
But what if what we are,
Is just what I was looking for?

The world around didn’t matter,
You didn’t matter; I didn't matter;

It was spinning around, noise,
It wasn’t clear, but it was
And it wasn’t clear what ‘it’ was

People were going about the motions,
Like these thoughts were not real

‘Can’t you hear them?’ I thought to myself
And I swear as I was thinking, I thought I heard you
I thought I heard you say, ‘I hear you’
But you didn’t. But it still feels like you did
But you didn't

It was spinning around, noise,
It wasn’t clear, but it was
And it wasn’t clear what ‘it’ was

The world around didn’t matter,
You didn’t matter; I didn’t matter

Take me in, take me in, sea
One with you, let me be
The loud silence we share is a sign,
I'm a wave, the shore isn't mine

The carcass was made to wait,
For nobody wanted to light the pyre

There is an odd serenity in his eyes,
It's my own version of paradise

Watching you sleep,
Makes me feel rested
If I had my way,
Instead of you, I'd be tested
The tribulations you face,
That shouldn't be part of your fate at all,
They're mine as much as yours,
- As much as you are my all
Your eyes need sleep,
Your mind needs some calm,
Your body needs touch,
And I need to be your balm
When you laugh,
It's those moments that make my day,
When you are momentarily all right,
When moments are not grey
They say you can live your entire life in one moment,
And in moments you can know it all,
You are my moment of clarity,
You, standing there, standing right there tall

There's a deaf silence,
And traffic's passing sound
There's a loud noise inside,
And no one hears it around

There's a void,
And a gripping clench,
There's a weight on the chest,
And an unbearable stench

Is this that calm,
Before the proverbial storm?
Or is this the alpha and omega?
Where oblivion begins from

The creeping feeling,
Doesn't get shaken away,
The lighter moments are guests,
In moments they slip away

Take it away,
Take it away,
Take it all away now,
Take away the misery,
Or just tell me how

The portions of your person, you think aren't nice,
They're the best of you, when looked through my eyes
It's a gamble opening up a heart so soon,
When the only thing we share, is the same sun and moon
Still I feel, it's worth taking a chance,
'Least we can do, is have a dance
I want to know everything about you at once,
And then I don't want to run out of things to know
Without even catching your hand,
How do I not want to let go?

You woke me up,
I was not asleep,
****! It was but a dream

What has happened to you so far,
Is not your story;
It is the beginning of your story,
Rather, it's just the first page,
Twisting the plot,
Choosing the central characters,
Weaving the conversations between them,
Marking the end of different chapters,
While carrying lessons learned from them,
Taking it forward exactly as you want to,
Taking it forward as you wish it would have begun,
Or as you wish it ends,
That...
That is your story