I have a tendency
To sit around
Staring
Mesmerized
By the nothingness
That is projected
At me
In my empty
Soulless
Stare
I hear the echoes
Haunting me from the past
A nightmare
Sitting in the corner
Patiently awaiting
My folly
The cobwebs
They gather like false friends
My heartbeat is so
Genuinely silent
Until I beg to not have one
That is when
It screams the loudest
A sinful laughter
At the expense of
My broken
Shattered
Memory

The more I try the more I feel like I am losing myself
The right partner, the wrong time
I desire to get my hands *****
To sleep by choice under the stars
Yet I am conforming to a world of cushion

I stand a lost man
Searching for a feeling that imprints a smile
Maybe I am in denial
Feeling to filed and organized
This infatuation of a picket fence,
is not me

There's a voice in my head repeating born to be wild
To ride on a motorcycle at sunset through a canyon with no home
Just apart of the road  
No structure
No direction
Just alive

I battle these thought daily
I fear leaving her and the pain it will cause
Though as it must, the truth prevails
Sirens and bells, heaven and hell
I feel like I'm losing myself

This love began to dim,
Due to the quiver of your chin.

The desire to fulfill,
No longer brings me thrill.

Your hopes and all your dreams,
Instilled inside of me.

Our love could not commit,
We fell into derailment.

Longing glances turned to disapproving sighs.
Dishonesty shining through your weak despondent eyes.

Our legs intertwine,
Fear pulsing at the base of my spine.
  
To stay with you,
There’s no escape.

From what you think,
And what you take.

This love caught fire,
I burned you down.

Dying to be touched,
Craving to be found.

I didn’t ask for this.
I didn’t ask for you.

This love once so good,
Became untrue.

i don't really know.
it's just that,
you plant a garden in my heart
and grow tulips.
you write a children's book in my mind
and read it to me until i fall asleep.
you are the windows rolled down
and new music.
you are fresh linen
and clean hair.

i must describe you so ordinarily
so the earth won't feel so bad about itself.
but it should feel honored
to hold something as special as you.

a.h.d.