to me you are just a photograph
a five-by-seven rectangle
of glossy paper
pinned on my white wall
with a thumbtack.
all of you is crammed into that space,
a box that contains your smile,
two-dimensional and impersonal,
false.
there's a rip on one corner
where part of your forehead dangles
ready to be completely perforated,
because you have no control
over where i store you
whether it's in my arms
or just on my walls.

*(a.m.c.)

I walked a thousand miles, I traveled a thousand years, and when I looked down at my feet, I found them right back here

They crave  immortality
What for? I cried
Don't you know?
Sufferance
Sadness
Pain
Endless are they all.

sometimes I'm a stark black bottle
skull and crossbones adorning my front
warning and taunting you
of what's to come

but other times I'm a pastel pink flask
made intriguing and inviting
with beautiful images of daisies and unachievable happiness
tempting you to open me up
only to view what is in the interior
immediately to close me up and hastily walk away
without a mere second glance

unfortunately all I want
all I've ever wanted
but what I don't allow myself have
is for someone to see my skull and crossbones warning
see the poison that is contained in
and drink my love
because
not everything is as it seems

can't get over you
can't get under you
what's a girl to do?

I tried smoking once
I’ve heard it’s addictive but I knew I could avoid that
I was distressed and looking for a cure
And I had a friend who knew how to get stuff
I never thought I’d betray my intuitions like that
But there was exhilaration at the thought alone
And I really love trying new things
Because life is all about experience
We hiked into the woods to find the perfect place to stop
He held a flame in his hands, and we spent the next few minutes with our lips against a brass pipe
Inhaling the bitter taste we longed to learn
There was a warmth in my chest that felt like the right kind of pain
But we decided we didn’t want it again
Sometimes when I’m sad, I can feel the heat in the back of my throat
With a bitter hint crossing my tongue
And I wonder if it’s a craving
Or just a memory

I tried admitting to myself that I was in love once
I’ve heard it’s addictive but I knew I could avoid that
I was infatuated and looking for a sign
And I had a friend who turned into so much more
I never thought I’d betray my intuitions like that
But there was exhilaration at the thought alone
And I really love trying new things
Because life is all about experience
We hiked into the woods to find the perfect place to stop
He held my hand in his, and we spent the next few minutes with our lips against each other’s
Inhaling the bittersweet promises we longed to find a meaning for
There was a warmth in my chest that felt like the right kind of pain
But he decided he didn’t want me anymore
Sometimes when I’m sad, I can still feel his touch at my sides
With a bittersweet hint crossing my mouth
And I wonder if it’s a craving
Or just a memory