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To love someone and to be in love with someone are two completely different things. To love someone, is to openly show affection and intimacy; to share life with them through happiness and sadness, through pain and glory. To be in love is to be happy where you are in your relations. Maybe that’s why there are quarrels in relationships. Someone in them isn’t in love, someone isn’t happy. Therefore they were never truly in love. Love is unconditional but to receive that love, certain conditions must be met. That’s why I say, “I love everyone, but that doesn’t mean they are allowed to see that love from me.” But I’m happy with life, so maybe, I’m in love with the world.
First attempt at prose
Can I leave this earth?
I find no meaning for it
No logical explanation of why I'm here
Suffering all the time
No one that loves me I find
Can I disappear or get lost?
Patience is no virtue of mine
Why am I in pain all the time?
Can I leave this world behind?
I take the stairs and climb the trees
I want to be happy, I just don't know how
 Jan 2019 underestimated
Urmi
Frigid
 Jan 2019 underestimated
Urmi
I had a dream this winter
Of ****** leaves and of ochre branches,
Of sprout twigs and of lakeside lunches
Of the resplendent canopies, of the infinite sleepless nights,
Switching through warm vivid reveries
And the seeping soulful flickering brights
Of my yellow scattered image in the yellow gleamy pond
Of the fluttering up of my wavy white blonde
Of the sun tanned Jack, of his sea-green eyes
Deep when he sees me, deadly when he turns back
His palms are white, mixed with red and green,
He fondles my forehead with his spindly long fingers
This lissome Jack can never feel like a dwam
As he touches me with all his heart
The enigmatic love that dribbles down my skin
That lingers with me, even after I stir.

He trails again to far-off heavenly lands,
To the Sun, the Stars and the hurrying horizons
Hastily taking my olive hands,
He pulls me up, our hearts pressed on us
Suddenly the skyline fades, the seas turn black
I can’t see Jack, his Prussian eyes now black
I open my eyes and I am back in my dark icy dwell
Cold as I was, cold again I am
Ripped away from Jack, my shine, my light
Who I was with, every fragment of this frigid wintry night.
 Jan 2019 underestimated
Urmi
You plonked your head
on the pillow
shut your jaded eyes
hoped to stop your brain
and escape the foul reality
but how can you evade
something that you are
so profoundly a part of?

You cannot escape
your existence.
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