step out to have a smoke
and stir my head a bit

stabbing pain shoots through me
as red cherry burns flesh

this is my last week in
this desolate wasteland

here life is wearing thin
its time to start again

i'll turn myself in to
settle debts wit' the state

when all's done, i'll return
home... first time in decades

ice-cream scoop carved out my soul,
i'm left here wide awake feeling hollow and cold

I want to like you,

but you make me knot .

One smoke
One sip
One **** at a time

Taken back to the day
We shared paper and lines
I was straight-edge then
Not a drop to drink
I meditated on the balcony
You left dishes in the sink
Ross would bang *****
and smoke hella ****
Now he’s off spreading
theory and anarchy
I hear you’re doing well
A world of “special effects make-up”
I’m drowning in the desert
From a nightmare I can’t wake up
In another ten years we’ll look back and see

Who is broken
And who’s dying
As we all struggle to be free

of...

Pardon please my pedantry,
But I espied sir that in your rhapsody
You sometimes overlook crossing all your “t’s.”
If a point should be taken, then please let it be
That these consequential “t’s” should not be jotted down so flippantly.

3rd and final day of my sister's garage sale
she asked me to sit and watch it while her and my nephew go to church.
"Any price you think is good for anything will be fine"
I sit and watch people sort through stuff and I want to apologize.
For some reason it's a very odd sort of feeling,
inviting strangers to rifle through your belongings.
Either nothing you've kept hidden is worthy of keep
or they'll make you an offer and show you it's cheap.

I would hate to have those onlookers dumpster-diving for deals within me
[I don't believe that I'd measure up either]
Everything I got I'll just keep

An ugly unwashed stranger's hand holds up my soul, turning it round he sneers his nose
"How much you need for this old thing?"
"I stickered it 10 dollars and it's practically new"
"I'll give you a quarter. It looks broken, it's held together with glue"
"Fine, fine. Whatever is fine."

After two days of this I'd go to church too...
to think I may have some things that I still keep hidden
and there's a god up there some place in the sky
who loves me and may still want to buy

study, cram, call, make plans...
power point, presentation, speech, rewrite...
theory, materialism and idealism and the difference,
Marx, Freud to psychoanalyze...
on to polynomials, linear equations, I make a scientific notation...
take a break. (eat)
ham sweet and thick
with lots of pineapple and some cherries
potato bread and cheese
PowerAde to rehydrate
little vodca with o.j. and cigarette  
after lunch, breathe .
and it’s back to study lab to mentally beat meat.
paper due, final today, did I remember to triple check
and get rid of paper clips, include a cover sheet...
ready to evaluate... I think.
ready to second guess, miss dates and time, "you're late"
again...
95, 98, 3.5 GPA? pre-test, for final, make sure your research is done,
site, source, quote, student rate and double space
power nap, smoke again,
is the day over yet?..