I'm hurting; I'm hiding
I'm trying; but I'm hurting still
I promise, this time I do
Everytime I try to laugh
I flinch and smile
Like I can't possibly have it all
Can't let myself get addicted
to the thought of losing
Myself to you
I'm already addicted to
the thought of losing you
And the voices
in my heard don't give up
You don't hear them too
So you wouldn't understand
I want you but
I don't need you
I wish you would Help me
Please; help yourself
Get away from me;
But please stay
How pathetic
You did this to yourself
They say, unrelenting
I did this to myself
Until the day that I find
that I've come to think of you
More than i think of myself
Your laughter will always
Always push me away
And I hurt you, again
Does it matter that I'm hurt too?
Maybe if you looked
Beneath the smiles
You would see how dark
It's gotten; maybe if you
Listened deeper, you would
Hear the quiet before
The storm, the chatter
Of I love yous
My demons take turns saying
Maybe now you understand why
Love
makes no sense to me

It's not that I forgot how to write
It's that I forgot all my pain.

Stuck
Trying to find words
Devastated
Death is a ghost worker
Life just kills us all
Rest now, Friend.

What is perfection
Imperfection
Like jigsaw pieces in all their puzzling glory
But when all fixed, there's satisfaction in breaking
Them up to try again.

It's you and me and our
Bags of deficiencies and imperfections
But when we come together it's like
A match and it's box
We light up

There's perfection in imperfection
The darkness needs light and light
It's darkness

Perfection is boring; perfection
Is imperfect.

Beautiful day, speculative clouds
Met this girl, beauty and the smile
Heart gets loud, can't hear myself
Can she hear me? Out with
My thoughts, back off, I thought I heard
Screams and sirens, not the cops, all in my head
Took a step back, out of
My mind with fear I am, my thoughts
Got caught up in that smile, I'm stuck
Maybe I should just stalk, no need to talk
Won't it just be cheaper to hate, from afar
Fate is for the rich, once said my Ma
Can I risk it all, make a move I could
Regret, not when she looks like a million stars
My heart can't catch up with my breathes, I ain't done
Beautiful day, cold and jitters
My feet are on fire, my thoughts, lost in Russia
I stabbed my mind, it got to my fears
We spoke all through the night, so mama, yes
The drama is over, she said, Yes.

Yesterday,
I came across your smile
On the face of another
So beautiful
Yet I could only
Feel guilt as she said hi
Welcome to the show
And her name wasn't yours

Today,
I made a girl laugh in the mall
Just like you did
She tossed back her head and reveled
In its vibrations
As she passed by me
With a wave, of intent
And friends that weren't yours
Another prospective ruined
Just because I can't find
Enough of you in them

Now,
I Just wonder if you
Were my lucky break
Cos at least
I found love with you
Or my damnation
Cos now?
I can't seem to love another.

As well watered soil
Is to growing plants
A broken heart
Is the perfect condition
For the best
Of my poetry.

... And just like in my nightmares
whenever I'm about to fall in love
I wake up screaming
flailing and crying to realize
thankfully, that I'm only just dreaming.

I could see the beauty in you if I was blind
And even if I was deaf, your heart
It speaks volumes

How can we expect love
To be perfect
When we made it?

You see?
There's something about women
I've seen water
Hard and soft, tasteless and with taste
Still can't do without water

They are like water.
Hard and soft
Sometimes blue and feeling it
Beautiful, with ripples of anger and laughter
Making up Most of the earth

And We definitely can't do without them.

I want to grow old with you, but never grow up; finding laughter in the mundane - and never doubting the existence of magic and fairytales. What are we if not magic? What is our story if not a fairytale?

She said, V

You have really nice eyes

Like 'em puppy eyes

So, Now I don't know

What to do with my eyes

Blink, Wink, keep a permanent squint?

Do I still keep using them for sight?

Sometimes, love is about regret
About things you will never get to have
With the one you shouldn't have let go
Feelings unexplored
Because now, you are with someone else

Most times, its about choices
Bad choices to say the least
To walk away or to stay the pain
To trust your heart with someone else
Not unlike an ***** donation without
A test for compatibility

Every other time, it's about the little things
That make you laugh and cry
That make you smile so hard at odd lone times
That hurt you so much, you want to die

Ultimately, it's about all the things you cherish
But still can't understand
Or stand.

I can't get it out of my head
I think it's my fault
No one person can be this wrong
All of the time

The calls
unreturned
Messages in the morning
unreplied by evening
I love you has never sounded so strange;
so forced

Yet in all of this
Why is sorry
The only thing you can say to me

One of the wildest things
About my latest heartbreak
Is the fact
That she chose
a failing marriage
Over me

Yesterday I woke up without a heart
No worries, no pain
Somewhere beyond the lies

Yesterday I woke up with my future ahead of me
No delays, no denials
Somewhere beyond the highs

The past is in the past
Let it remain, the past
Therefore today,
I live for tomorrow

You are the perfect filter

For my life's picture

You are the reason I wake up

Beautiful;

You are.

You insist the shadow
That follows me all day isn't you
And I swear that it takes your shape;
Why then do I still see you
When I look in the mirror at night
And in my dreams
You are in everything
Everywhere I look
What have you done to me?

I once had an acquaintance
Who lived like their world
Only had days
Devoid of shadows
And the nights were sparse
So that everything they touched,
Felt and breathed
Was buried in positivity
And love and light.

Take for example
If a meteorite
Was to fall right in front of them
They'd probably say
"oh what a disaster
The world is ending
It can't be helped
We did our best"
And then
They would just laugh
Like they have forever conquered
Despair.

I could never understand it
I couldn't stand it
But I respected it
As much as I despised it

Baby
Your fears are valid
I acknowledge them
But they hurt me still
I know he hurt your mom
So now you
Take it all out on me
That because he left
You think me already gone
But I hope that one day
I can get through to you
That
You are not your mother
And
I am not your father.

You get me
But maybe that also means
You know just where
It hurts the most
And so you keep stabbing at it

You make me happy,

you make me better,

you make me feel all the things,

especially the good tingly ones,

you make me.

I love you
And so
I miss you
But you?
You only love me
When you miss me

Your eyes are poetry
I get them
Yet I don't get them
That fearsome depth
I revel and drown
and I'm not even ashamed
Like poetry; words giving
meaning to my thoughts
Your eyes control the rhythm
To my heartbeat
Fast or slow
Blink and I'll miss a beat
To the dance of your lashes
I'm drunk and lost.

72 hours back
I spoke of one so peculiar
She was deserving of a band
X
She introduced me to Y
Why?

48 hours forward
Y looks at me and her
heart speaks of ageless desires
Of fantasies beyond that
I Ever have wished for.
Lust; lost

24 hours
There she is
Y
daring the sun to a smile challenge
she has me fixed in a trance
I could marvel in her unravel
But I couldn't look at the sun

Zero hours
X is glaring at me
She could never possibly unsee this
Her eyes filled with regret
Mine a shadow of the same
I couldn't muster a thought
Y;
She is my unraveling
Tomorrow?
X;
My Ex.