You ran to the door like you always did,
no idea what I’d walked out from.
Maybe you waited the nights I was gone —
still hopeful, still sure I’d come.

We played like nothing else mattered at all,
you stayed by the door when I’d leave.
You knew I’d return like I always had —
one of the things I silently grieve.

I don’t know if you’d still know my face,
or if time’s erased what we knew.
Would you still light up if I walked in,
or just stare at me like I’m someone new?

They took you like I never mattered,
like love could just be split in two.
I didn’t leave because I stopped loving —
if it wasn’t for them, I’d still be with you.

I didn’t want to fall apart mid-sentence,
So I said less and asked more questions.
Tuned out love songs, skipped our street —
I made avoiding you look complete.

I smile and nod when your name is mentioned,
As if it doesn't pull me out of the conversation
They throw it around casually, like it's not cutting right through —
I guess I never got to cry out about you.

Life's inevitability-
old age
I accept
I don't rage

others are upset
they debate-
with beauty and wonders
I engage

time is tyrannical
often it does berate
I look askance
the day I celebrate


aside I've willingly set
every grievance and regret -
when the final chime strikes
I'll ready to embark on the passage

Sometimes it feels like
I haven’t done anything right
That’s enough to care about
And somehow
That’s worse than
Doing everything wrong,
At least then,
it’s noticeable
Enough
To care about
And deep down I know it well
I shouldn’t fall back
into bad,
Bad habits
But I can never help it
And
It doesn’t matter anymore
which way I go
Downstream or uphill
I’ll follow life’s flow
And if I don’t end up
where I yearn to be
It doesn’t matter
‘Cause it wasn’t up to me

I took my lyre and said:
Come now, my heavenly
tortoise shell: become
a speaking instrument

he was lonely
suicidal
almost
and some relative recommended
he start acting
so he starred in a play
nothing big
mind you
no Broadway production
something within the community
and he came across beautifully
this lonely star
-
-
..(C) 1981/2011/2017 Spiros Zafiris
..from Midnight Magic {1981}