i want to fall asleep
under a sky full of stars
out at waypoint, nobody knows where you are
nobody awake for miles around
nothing but the sweet, lulling sound
of crickets and tall grass in the breeze
and that's where i want to fall asleep
that's where i want to quietly bleed
across the gravel, head tipped to the sky one last time
and maybe this time i won't cry
maybe this time i can finally die

six days left to live
and it's getting hard to find
anything left to give
anything left inside
there is no life in these hollow bones
no place i can call my home
i am alone
i am alone

i'm so tired but i can't sleep
so hungry but i can't eat
so restless but i wanna die
so sad but i can't cry

i'm so sick of staring at a screen
sick of no one hearing my screams
i'm so weak but i act tough
pretend that i am enough

i'm so scared of my own thoughts
scrutinizing everything i'm not
reminding me to lose some weight
the ***** leaves a bitter aftertaste

i'm so empty but i'm still here
so broken by my own fears
so hollow and i know it
so dull, but no one noticed

they said, "achilles, come down"
but i feel safer up here
knowing that i'm in control of my fear
up on this roof where nothing can reach me
hiding my face so no one can see me
they said, "don't fly to the sun"
but i burned up my wings
cutting my hands on all my broken things
lines of vermillion across palms, wrists, thighs
a midas touch of gold as every piece of me dies
some myths stay in your head
some legends ring true
sometimes i just want to forget about you

i don't find myself afraid of death
or of drawing my final breath
i don't want to die, yet i know i must
and pray that i am not turned to dust
and that's what scares me in the end.
the thought of eternal punishment;
or the idea that maybe there is no afterlife
and that i've been raised on yet another lie.