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Dark roast coffee got me spinning around and my hands can't stop shaking...
and for a second, my eyes meet the mirror ....who's that girl...or woman....
with the princess bride frown?
My ex moves like a riverside ghost, no message and no signs...im aching.
left me haunted in the morning
got me trapped in my own mind.....wish I could say all these lessons were free
but oh what a very costly fine....
Men seem to come and go like my grandmothers blue glass ash tray dreams that don't stick
to women like us ..... soft heart and mind quick
who's loving me when the sun starts to set?
cause, I’m still alone in a queens bed..

I want magic, not just smoke
want a touch that don’t feel like a joke
I’m a Gypsy moon spell...
I’m a once in a 500 year storm, I’m the post war heartache and the museum art
If I write it down maybe I won’t fall apart
Give me pleasureable love.... give me truth for breakfast
Chocolate lips...morning sunken sea eyes
I’m reckless
its all my fault
Cause I needed to eat, im a poetess
For me to write, I need to die

Scroll past my pain....no one even sees
A message left on read like I’m just September 11th debris
Don’t need your answers... might not even need your love
I need my singing voice
a chance to share it to the world, like a magician I want to release
my white magic dove
I need a pen
Oh the pain. Oh the suffering
Lord, its been enough

I don’t need forever, just something that stays
A pulse in my fathers silence, a spark in my mothers excruciating haze
I’m not too much.... but I'm also way too alive
If you're my knight
Don’t ever dim my shine
just to survive
I got a joan of arc inner fight

I want magic...not just mirrors and smoke
Want a kiss that don’t burn when I choke
I’m a fortune tellers spell, I’m a dying flame
I’m the bone and the break
If I sing it loud, maybe I won't shake
give me pleasurablelove
give me truth for breakfast, that's my true desire
Queen bed dreams, I’m messy, I’m restless
You want water signs
but I'm an Aries
fire

So I write like it's holy, I write because I must turn pain into rhythm
turn meaningless ******* into dust
I want magic ...and I am it
I want love ...and I’ll **** it
until its mine
Joan of arc
My time
is coming
Old man stands alone,
shirt undone,
hair silver and lifting,
the sky begins to split.

The storm enters
not with cruelty,
but with memory,
that deep breath before
the world unbuttons itself.

Thunder cracks like bones once young.
The rain walks sideways,
then vertical,
then all directions.
He does not move.

Was the storm that raised him,
not his father,
not a stiff lipped god behind a pulpit,
but this:
a violent choir of wind and water
tearing through the trees like language
he always understood
but never spoke.

Remembering it in his legs,
how the wind,
long ago,
swept him off roofs,
out of dry judgement,
into open roads and beds and truths.
How lightning never hit him,
but always pointed
and directed.

He once chased it,
barefoot,
drunk on youth and refusal,
beautiful clouds, black and blooming.
giving permission
to crack open,
wiping dullness off the skin
that last coat of sleep.

Now, old and alone,
he feels it again,
that holy silence between the strikes,
that rush of air through the ribs,
the kind that makes love and sin feel small.

The wind doesn’t ask where he’s been.
The rain doesn’t question strength.
They just take him in,
pulling his bones into a long, level song.

No one watching.
No one shouting him back inside.
Only black clouds
reaching low enough
to press their foreheads to his.

In that communion,
the unspoken pact between man and squall
he closes his eyes,
and lets go
of names, of time, of answers.

Only the storm
knows who he was.
Only the storm
still loves him for it.
As a child, she innocently climbed the branches of her backyard tree...
the mother once reached for the truth in the sky...
But the tree held her in its grasp
And so the woman in white lace
had to climb down
and say goodbye

A glass shattered on the ground
Reflections of a life once whole...
Black stones scattered at her small feet
Vanity's price took its toll...

Oh, the woman in white lace with a conch shell pressed to her ear
wants to listen to the oceans call
But her heart is made of tin
and she can't
hear
she can't hear
True beauty
falling on mermaids deaf ears
her quick to run away fins
icy blue tears

A cry escapes the mothers lips..
A plea for freedom, for release
But the tree's hold is unyielding
Her struggle never ceased

and in the silence of the Ireland night..
sometime's the tree releases its grip
and the mother falls to the ground,
Her spirit begins to lift... a little bit...
but not enough to hear the sound
of..wind and water

The woman in white lace turns around
There's a mirror...and
She knows deep inside,
She wants the truth to be
nearer
for her daughter
But the trees grip
is too strong
So she'll climb down
who says surviving is wrong

And the daughter has to climb up that tree
all alone......
in the dark of night

And the daughter becomes
the woman in white lace
ghosts of cherry blossoms bloom beneath moonstone forest light
castles crumble and I’m losing the fight...
but I walk like durga with eleven watchful eyes
and each arm bears a weapon and it gives me such pain
but I know that
within me is a sword to cleave the chain

I ride the lioness of my good will.. and somehow im unbroken
claws for grace in every word of mine unspoken
trident in my heart to balance the three
Sattva, Rajas, Tamas
the superstar, the daughter, the bird that lives on the sea
all parts of me

Falls from the towers, wings in the dust
If tomorrow never comes, at least I’ve felt us
and i'm remembering love in a boat set to sail
and each tear is a pearl weighing down
Nicoles mermaid tale

maybe this pain is a beauty to bear
A burden that silver lines my murky water despair
Abuse and bruises.... the price of my musicality themed art
but in my brokenness, I start to restart
hopelessness whispers to me, but I hold the knife
A moonstone heart that still wants life

falls from the castle and my gown now rent and torn
Each arm a reminder that my body can be reborn...
If there’s a reason... I’ll turn it to song
A witch’s lament or an armor strong
Ill have to choose
I don't want let you go but sweetheart its
me or you

Boats of remembering drift on nights sea
pearls of sorrow clinking and clattering soft to my heart beat
I was near the edge..thought I’d taste the end
But found songwriting in the scars I can’t mend
If tomorrow never comes let me at least be
A goddess in ruin
still setting me free

Yes, this pain is the beauty I bear
Pearls on my nightstand, moonlight in my hair
Falls from the castle...I thee depart...
Broken and sacred.. this is my heart

Do I have a chance at life beyond my watery cage?
A sustaining soul to turn the page?
Or is the cost too heavy
will the light scorch and blind?
Mermaid caught in currents
torn between two kinds

I thee depart
This is my start
dandelions on the side of the road
symbols of hope.. are the weeds where the wild things grow
dad used to call them wishnics...and he said my name like a Texas spell
I’d blow on the seeds but i never could tell
if the wish ever heard me
If the wind ever cared
But they popped up around us
like someone was there

new york weeds in the cracks, my gold dusted disguise
Like the ones we loved and lost, above the skies
Whistling my favorite songs in the breeze
I'm Rapunzel in a house no one sees
Black Widow spider web, blue green dragonfly wing
What kind of magic do the weeds bring?

the flowers are not born, they just appear
no one plants them, they're just here
Like me..just growing alone
carving my name into his heart of stone

Wishnics...
Wishing songs...
No one's wrong for dreaming too long
I walk past the house, the spell inside of me still hums
and I walk free...
I come undone
With poetry

Everyone wants the throne but not the fight
They want my magic but not my night
I’ve seen men beg with their teeth all red
I’ve brought myself
back from the dead.

Gone is the prince and me, now just a crown of weeds
My kingdom’s dead but it still bleeds
If love was a gun, then I surely kissed the chrome
Now I haunt this world like it’s my throne

hauntingly beautiful music in the back of my skull
Life is darkness, ludicrous....Pain full
The bullets ring in my heart and I flinch at every tone
I’m an hourglass soul, fragmented and alone

Michele’s blood whispers in that dark red bloom
a ****** charm cast in a hollow grief stricken room
weeds, shards, and ghostly refrains
I’m whistling through pain, unbroken chains
In a house of glass
my throne, my cell
Darkness is home, and I know it well

She was beauty, she was blood...she is my ice and flame
separated from the living by a killers name
Michele, my mirror, my curse, my pain
my flower that reveals in the May 12th rain

3 shots of silence, she became a beautiful chord
oscillating in my mind, never ignored
Her death becomes dads spell,  a half forgotten song
Weeds bleed gold where she belonged

Michele’s rose in the dust
Love feels more like lust
I sit in the corner in a white dress
A wedding with no vows and no guests
Pink velvet dreams and green rhinestone tears
A tambourine plays for the singer I hold dear

A gold mirror hangs so divine
Shows a girl with a heart that's no longer mine

Oh, love leaves me dusty, deserted and torn
A lantern I carry for nights that have never been born
I bleed in the night silence with no table and no feast
Just candlelight and the dream of peace
My heart...it’s not glass, it learned how to sink...
An hourglass woman
alone on the brink

You, my ex with your boyish goodbye
You love me, I know, but you won’t even try
You're growing, you're going, you're leaving the flame
And I’m still the altar that whispers your name
My sacred heart burns, but no one can see
The God who still keeps me when death wanted me

Oh, love leaves me dusty, deserted and torn
A lantern I carry for nights that have never been born
I bleed in the silence with no table, no feast
Just candlelight and the dream of peace
My heart, it’s not glass, it learned how to sink
An hourglass woman, alone on the brink

No dinner, no dance, no toast to the bride
Just pink crushed velvet and tears that won’t hide
Uncle Kevin said, “God keeps you here”
And I wonder what for
another lost year

A woman whose life turned to stone
Living on borrowed time, dying alone
Still I sing with my tambourine, shaking with fragmented self grace
A prayer for the ones who vanish without a trace

Slammed doors **** up my nervous system
No one listens and I wouldn't miss em
People who don't care about their neighbors
Step over love like its something to run from

A dad who never looked me in the eyes
If his heart is good, he wears a good disguise
If love was a god, he or she walked right past
And left me with bones that’ll never relax

An hour glass woman
How much time do I have
Remember I'm stone, not glass
Gazing into the Witches Crystal Ball and
I see the ones I loved
Fading away..Dorothys had enough

A gold mirror hangs so divine
Shows a girl with a heart that's no longer mine
Oh, All I want to love
is time
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PqDHYvUoYM4&list=RDPqDHYvUoYM4&start_radio=1&rv=-ZqTASdjW4w
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