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The beauty queen... she has to pay
For every love that turns away...

Go ahead, feel
the tangibility of her broken heart
Touch her crown but know it’s steel
She’s soft she’s fire she's real
But she’s not here just to be healed

Go ahead, feel
the receptivity of her broken heart
But don’t pretend you know the deal
Her love is deep her scars are real
She builds her army on what they steal

The candle burns...the sun still blinds
She’s danced alone a thousand times

The beauty queen...she has to pay
For every love that turns away

They couldn’t touch her they could only dream
She lives somewhere between star and scream
Not cruel just unseen
That’s how you survive as a mystical queen
Beauty Queens pay a price
My greatest jewel
my heart.
its always had a way of beating hard

Wore the crown, lived in the castle
I was even Married to the King
This is when I learned the hard way
Money ain't everything
Richer with nothing on my skin

Now,
Im a
Faded
Queen
and Love is
what I love the most

I’ve been around...cant say that I'm not a little wild
Mature but stupid, you could call me heartbreaks child
I laugh to hide the bruises on my heart
But my love travels through time
so I wish upon Arabellas star

Under mystical sky, I’m dancing and its like
smoke moving slow.....
Playing with the kinda fire  that only wild hearts know
A gypsy’s song, her own wing and a prayer
Love’s a flame that’s everywhere

But...i worry
What if love’s a shooting star?
Too bright, too fast, too far....
After it all...
Will I stand alone in the dark?
watching you fade from my heart?
And then you’ll burn your name into the sky
Then vanish without a goodbye
And I’ll be left, just looking up at night

I'll just disappear
I play poker in the dark
But I’m playing against myself and I lose every hand.
Constellations map out my scars
Diamonds glitter around me
like Demolished plans
and im fading
in the Summer light
its burning me good
****, im only alive in the night

Oh, im a Faded Queen
and Love is what I dream of
the most

Ill lay on lily pads in my mind
and im drifting sinking slow
maybe
the water is my only home
cause the earth
just sinks me deep
I can feel
everything seep
from my heart

Im a fading Queen
a shooting star in the dark
I could be the one that burns
but I desperately want to be the one that returns
Back to Love
  Jun 30 Nicole Castaldini
M Vogel
The Battleground Beneath Her Skin
(A Physiology of Light and War)

Before it reaches her;
even before her breath draws it in,
I break myself down..

  not as surrender,
  but as choice.

Each particle stripped bare,
each atom exhaled
made clean by the reckoning
of my own dark,
infused with the stubborn
weight of light
earned, not borrowed.

Within the responsibility of what
  leaves me,
I enter the quiet union—
the kneeling choice
to align with the hand of God,
to let even my smallest fragments
carry His capacity to heal.
Every airborne particle,
accountable,
deliberate,
refined enough
to cross the distance,
to enter her

without deception.

Beneath her skin,
a war unfolds.

It is not loud,
not made of swords,
but of smaller things..
things unseen by eyes,
but never missed by the marrow,
the blood,

the quiet trembling of cells
that have known both wound

  and wonder.

Light and dark..
not in theory,
but in matter
thread themselves through every atom,
every strand of her being.
Not metaphor,
but measurable:

the way shadows lean into the soft chambers of her lungs,

the way light, when chosen,
can rewrite the blueprints etched into the bloodstream.


This is the battleground..
her body,
her breath,
her most involuntary places.
Where no poetry of
seductive manipulation..
no whispered counterfeit
can cover what is real.
Only substance speaks here.
Only intent.

Only what survives the fire of accountability
earns the right to stay.

The particles come;
stripped down,
atomized,
refined.. not by accident,
but by the slow, steady grind
of volition.
They enter her;
through breath,
through pores..

through the quiet, relentless openness
that even fear cannot close completely.


And inside--
the war begins.

..   ..   ..   ..

Mitochondria spark—
tiny engines deciding

what stays,
what burns away.

Capillaries widen,
rivers branching through her like
tributaries
willing to carry
what is real,

what is earned,

what is Light.

The counterfeit falters here.
Pretty words mean nothing
to oxygen.
False portraits
dissolve beneath the chemistry of truth.
The cells remember;

  they choose.

And as the Light infuses
the quietest corners of her..
her thighs, her hips,
the soft stretch of her waist;
there is no seduction,
no trickery.

Only the hard-won intimacy
of substance made pure.

Not by the blending of oils,
not by the friction of skin,
but by the deeper,
unseen alchemy
of what enters,
what lingers,
what refuses to bow
to darkness.

The battleground is hers now.
And though the shadows  will not
yield easily,
they cannot claim her;
not where light
has been chosen,
earned,
metabolized.

The war is not over,
but benea.th her skin,
within her blood,

Light has begun
to rise.



My sweet beautiful friend~

Don't forget to sing..
remember Everything

https://youtu.be/YNbYx3_7Hvo?si=u5QEHNDBoFoAdvFM

#Battlegrounds
#LoveisaBattlefield❤️
Do not stand
          By my grave, and weep.
     I am not there,
          I do not sleep—
I am the thousand winds that blow
I am the diamond glints in snow
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle, autumn rain.
As you awake with morning’s hush,
I am the swift, up-flinging rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight,
I am the day transcending night.
     Do not stand
          By my grave, and cry—
     I am not there,
          I did not die.
— Clare Harner, The Gypsy, December 1934
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Do_Not_Stand_at_My_Grave_and_Weep
Dad strummed guitar in '74 in his room
before I was even a star in his sky
back when Pink Floyd made him cry
his fingers bleedin
when he felt the magic of the dark side of the moon
when Syd Richard david Roger Keith Nick and Bob
Lent their Enchantments
to the post war world

I’ve always wanted a golden heart locket
To hold something real inside of it....
But when I stand on top of the mountains that I climb
I'm reminded once again
that I'm just so small
Still I crave for a place for love
if love should call

My wish list isn’t long these days
Cooler air, marigold haze

This heart is becoming comfortably numb
I've always wanted a knight
to save me
But when I stand besides the ocean I'm reminded once again
that life is not a fairy tale
still I crave for heaven
had too much hell
too much cold steel rail
I think I can tell
that it's been more pain
than blue sky
I can tell
its gotten me to....
exchange lead roles in cages for...
my loneliness..
cost of freedom


Wishes
is my heart another brick
in the wall
of....
Lying love

How I wish
it didn't hurt
Oh how I wish
we weren't lost Dad
And that we weren't scared of the same thing
Wish you were
my king

Wish you were here
Now my fingers bleed
for that 70s rock teenage boy and his crooked smile
No matter what painful melodies I strum to
I come from you,
I come from
The dark side
of
That moon
I’ve been naked in the eyes of the beholders of the world...
Did they see beauty?
Weakness? Strength? Or just another pretty girl?

I don't think ive ever truly worn a veil....I've been unfurled
They watch me bleed and call it a Sunday.....swear I can hear them build
shelter with my bitter...and to them it tastes sweet
and I swear I seen them lick their fingers clean
of me

But I’ve got no sanctuary
no hiding place
and it kills the singer
it kills the singer
it kills the singer

Water surrounds me...and it ain't just narrow
its so ******* wide....
No boat of my own just the changing tide
of my miserable life

I am seen but not held
I am touched but not known
I'm a mermaid at heart... so I never really need a boat
I can take the water baby
I can swim, I can float
so don't feel too sorry for me

They write stories on my skin with their eyes
Turn my pain into lullabies
I cry for shelter.... the wind replies
Never....never...
Your home is...
nestled inside
a North star less sky
look up...at least its something

I hold on to hope that the storm will give me back my wings
or the moon  will pull me into good things
I want to be held close, I want to be grounded like earth and stone
til then I drift
no boat of my own
but don't feel sorry for me
im a mermaid in my heart
the cold is all I need....
if I truly made love to you and felt the warm...
i'd stab a ******* knife in your heart
and depart
and I wouldn't even mean it at all
please sing that to your soul
this brunette girl has only ever known
the Fall

I am seen but not saved
Always open.....never safe
but who knows
A sanctuary could be just one wish away...

Til then I'll strum my guitar
I hope freedom ain't too far
Withstood torched battles and freezing cold seas
Watched the good ones die...the bad ones steal the light from me
And I fell to my knees
I told the truth when they could only lie
Let things rot and crumble down
But if I fall
I’ll burn down this ******* town

I close my eyes and I see it, resplendent
Riding on a black beauty in slow motion, my neck empty of my pendant
I don’t ******* need an amulet, the power comes from pain
In a ripped up white dress running into the house of flames
And I don’t give a ****
The fire in my heart at war with fear
And it wins. (It’s gonna win.)
I’m wild and untamed
Riding hard... fighting for those who couldn’t fight
My only sin

I am like the winter deer
Quick.
Shoot me, honey
I’ll be reborn
Exhale beauty out of the sick

Black beauty
Horned heart
An army of men
But a woman.

I'm like the summer moth,
Drawn to the glow no matter the cost.
I dance in circles close to the flame
I know the risk.... I go just the same.
I like the light, I take the dare
And if I burn?
I don’t care
Maybe I was made to fly for awhile... not to stay
Even on my dying day....i'll let the cat out of the bag
and blaze my way

Feel the burn
of the hollow woman
I'll crush thorned roses in my hands
And I wont really mind the blood
as long as I was the keeper of beauty and truth
for awhile

I have a garden
It's my secret family
The flowers there...they all love each other
and I don't have to fight
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