I know that one day I will be okay,
and the pain will go away,
and I will be glad that I stayed.

But today is not that day.

Today, I know that I should be happy to be alive—
because after all, I have a good life—
but I can’t be happy,
because I am damaged.

Like a bird with a broken wing,
I am unable to fly.
Scared I’m going to die,
but more scared that I survived,
and now I have to be alive.

I have to live with the voice inside my head
that wants me dead,
that never wants me to get out of bed.

I have to live with the past
I worked so hard to forget—
and yet,
I still remember.

Deep down,
all that has happened,
all I have seen—
and I drown
in the past I try so hard to push down.

I look for a way out,
but there is none.
I scream and I run,
but I can’t outrun the past.

I can’t forget the things that broke me,
or the little girl I used to be,
before my innocence
was stolen from me.

Right now,
I am damaged goods,
a bird with a broken wing.

And maybe I will always be a little broken.

But I know—
one day I will be okay,
and I won’t feel this way.

But not today.

Today, I am not okay.
So I take it
one day at a time,
one minute,
one second,
one step—

because one day,
I will be okay.

I thought we were forever,
I thought you were the love of my life,
And if I’m being honest—
I still think you just might.

I thought we were meant to be,
That we were written in the stars,
Which is what makes this so hard.

I was so blinded by my love for you
That I failed to see
I was nothing to you
While you were everything to me.

It hurts to see the person
That knows you best
And that you love the most
Disappear from your life
Like a ghost.

But what hurts the most
Is still being in love with you
After all this time
Of not being able to call you mine
Or change your mind.

I still want you to be mine,
For us to make up
And everything be fine.

And pathetically,
I hold on to hope
That one day you will realize
That I loved you the most
And you will come back home.

When I look into your eyes,
I cannot imagine a life in which you are not mine.
When I see your smile,
It makes living life worthwhile.

You are my everything—my whole world.
I thank the Lord for putting you in my life,
I think He knew that together we would thrive.
I thank the Lord that I am yours and you are mine.

We are soulmates—most people can’t relate.
Most people don’t look at their partner and see forever,
But I do.

I see our future when I look at you.
I see our many adventures that are bound to happen,
I see our wedding—all the laughing and crying.
I see you playing with our kids
In the backyard of our home.
I see the family of our own.

I feel bad for people who look at us and think we’re crazy,
Or that we’re too much—
Because I know they don’t know the feeling of true love.
I know they don’t feel like us.

I thank God for my whole world,
My future, my everything, my partner in crime.
I thank God that you are mine.
I thank God that this is that forever kind of love.

You will always be enough for me.
I love you forever and more, my love.