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alex May 20
I’m bored now.
I don’t want the calm before the storm
I want the storm,
right now.

break me,
burn me,
do whatever,
I’m ready.
I crave the storm that makes me feel alive again
alex May 18
The countdown begins
Three whole weeks,
then one week,
now four days,
it’s tomorrow-
in three hours.

Until the dreaded hour comes and goes.
But it doesn’t end there.
It’s only the start
of my two weeks of hell.

My hands sweat and shake
as I frantically flip through pages,
what have I been revising for?
weeks of effort-
but the words blur into one
and… time.
Pens down.
I’ve messed it up.
Again.

Then comes results day,
Suddenly, sitting the exams seemed like heaven
compared to this day of hell
because I already know-
before I even open that little sheet-
my work probably hasn’t paid off

And…
I’ve messed it up.
Again.

Now I sit in front of my parents
and they ask
if I even tried,
but I did try
I tried for four weeks.
Eight hours a day.
Up to the very last minute.
I tried.

But they’ll never know,
because all they see is
that little white sheet
with the little black numbers.

all my hard work-
reduced to nothing
they can’t see past the percentages
to see me,
crumbling
before their eyes.

So I stand and sigh,
which nobody sees or hears,
pull out my textbooks of torture,
and let the current of words
and equations
and lists
pull me under…
alex May 17
What happened to my dreams
from a lifetime ago
why did I forget about them-
and let them go

I dreamt of a beautiful castle
and a prince charming -
But when did I realise
those princess dreams
were slowly ripping at the seams

Because the thing is
you don’t fall in love after one ball
or a single meeting in a forest
nor from one awakening kiss
- no, love’s not like this

Maybe I don't need
a happily ever after
with fake fairy tale laughter
because I can be happy
without a crown
or a prince
to hold me down.
alex May 16
My little girl dreams
and my little girl screams
She cries
for all the lies
she was told,
that her heavy heart must hold.

Now my big girl’s wise
and with a broken heart she sighs
what ever happened to my dreams,
the world isn’t as it seems.

‘I know my girl, I know’ I say -
the world’s not fair, but you’ll be okay
alex May 15
What else can I say,
that’ll make you stay
That'll keep you from leaving again.
Now I put down my pen,
cause it feels like I’ve said everything there is to say,

Yet I can still feel you slipping away.
I guess if you truly love someone you’ll let them go
alex May 15
We’re two different people
from two inexplicably different worlds,
who can never truly
see things through the same eyes.

While I see,
a sky painted with beautiful and wild brushstrokes,
You see,
dilapidated high rises blurred by grey clouds.

I see,
a bubbling, bustling city of culture and people
While you see,
an overcrowded, noise polluted town.

I see,
the road to an unknown journey
You see,
cracked tarmac littered with potholes.

Because, while I like to daydream,
you like to plan
While I loved like a storm
you loved like a drought,

I lived in the little things - like inside jokes and playing the guitar
while you dreamt of more, like weddings and a fancy car.

you and I are from two different worlds
that can never be combined,
So with that I leave behind
something that could never quite be defined.
maybe opposites don’t always attract
alex May 14
The colours of the world once danced for me,
But now they stand, all grey, though if they moved I’d barely see
Music painted dreams that nourished my soul,
But now it drowns the turmoil I can't control
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