I prided myself in being some what of a tomboy
I didn’t sit in the house painting fingernails playing dress up in granny’s dresses n heels
I was outside getting ***** running in the fields (I got the scars to prove it) I was a girl who played like a boy
Didn’t like dresses or skirts And if you touched or looked at me wrong I would hit you where it hurts and I packed a mean punch
The oldest of the bunch so I had to learn a lot early Didn’t play with dolls cuz it was 2 girly didn’t like my curves so baggy clothes it was hobbies were riding  four wheelers, horses, turning dirt into mud
I was a girl who played like a boy
I would fish or watch my grandfather change the oil in his car rather than go play with my friends I always knew I didn’t fit in
A Mulan over Princess Peach
I don’t know how to react when I’m called pretty I'm not a girly girl I'm not the one to open up easily. But you're growing on me And I feel a desire to tell you everything. But I'm afraid that you'll leave, Just like everyone else I've been through too much To wear my heart on my sleeve. I've grown tough My emotions squeezed and confined in this shell I hide I was so unfamiliar with being a woman so life was looked at through a more masculine lens
Always in survival mode I know what it’s like to do hard things I fantasize about what it’s like to be soft
To not worry,
To be calm
to relax my shoulders
unclench my jaw
To let my hair down blow in the wind enjoy the sun beaming off my skin Skin-ful of scars I AM woman both stubborn and wild. But even wild things can be tamed 😌 Not the drama queen I have no need to be seen attention seeking has never been my thing but I want you to see me…. The real me Pass the mask that hides my interior. The passion that hides behind the toughness that’s waiting
to be found. The hopeless romantic who needs a push A sign to know it’s authentic A nudge in the right direction You wit it? I’m a tomboy and I’m not changing I love being comfortable in my skin just want to be something I’ve never been soft, quiet, and pretty
Can you help me? Cuz I’m SCARED
It's just so hard to love again when my heart is so worn out.
I promise I'll try but please forgive me if I have doubts.

I sit and wonder what life would be like if I was a narcissist?
Would my flesh feed on manipulation or feel guilty when I walk over ppl
Feel satisfaction when I lure them in with my compliments and trap them in my web of lies
I be joker and they be my fool
Get them attached
Have em confused,
torn to pieces
Make sure they stay depressed.
Rub my hands like bird man keeping their head a mess
Overthinking
I’m lowkey smiling
Their sorrows continue to be a gift I cannot name, A twisted comfort in this cruel game to feed my ego
Thrilled to pick their brains like a picky eater at dinner pick them apart until they become what I like
Walk around collecting hearts like eggs on easter
Just so I can bruise em up and eventually break em
Then watch em put themselves back together again
Laugh at their pain
Hold them like a puppet in my hands
Connected souls and I control the strings
As I sing these sweet nothings in their ears telling em all the things just for fun
As they dance my voice becomes a sounding alarm
Hypnotizing,
on the count of 3
I snap and they run
Grin as they obey everything that I want done
Would I give a **** that I’m ruining the lives of these beautiful ppl?
Or would I laugh at the selfish gain
continue to **** the life until nothin is left but a corpse and their left walking this earth empty with nothing left to give
How would I live?

Like **** I hope.