The only way out is through christ

What is it like to walk upon the clouds
or to reach the end of the Rainbow
What is it like to be able to walk on liquid
or to rearrange time

I cry every night
I cry until my eyes burn
I cry until all that is left is hollowness

Honestly I don't know If I will make it...
I'm going to try, but what if trying isn't enough?
What if I do all I can, but I still sink into that hole in my chest
And people only start to care when I'm gone

If I take that knife or that gun
And I leave...

I've lost so much
I've lost my Biological family to drugs
I've lost my best friend to suicide
I've lost myself
I've lost hope
I've lost everything that matters

Where's God now?
Now that my world is crumbling
And my hands are shaking

I keep thinking that I can make it
That I can be the first on in my Biological family to go to college
That I can do this...but what if I'm wrong?

What if I haven't proved them wrong
But I've showed them how much they were right?

I am nothing... I never will be

Through the sidewalk cracks it grew
Like a beauty brand new
Through the days of despair
It could never compare
But the flowers were you
And the beauty was too

I am not the sun in your sky
or the stars in your night
I am not your umbrella when it rains
or your light when it's dark
I am not the one to pick you up when you fall
or the one to help you be stable
I am the one you forgot
I am the one you lost

Why do you pretend to like me
Then go behind my back?

Why do you act like you know everything?

Why do you choose other people over me all the time?

Why do you make me feel so small?

Why do you do half the things you do?

You know it hurts
but you feel forced
I know you're struggling
Can't you see
You're crumbling
That relationship is hurting you more than helping you
Why do you stay?
If you want to walk away

Why all of the sudden do you want me now?
After all of these years without any contact
You decided that now I am worth it?

The wind's blowing fast
the seas are raging
The night is full of a watery blast
And the time is ageing
It's hard to leave you in the past
And still hold on
I wish I could go back
to when you weren't gone

Sometimes we feel like we aren't worth anything
Yet we are
We are worth so, so much
I promise

When Things don't go the way you wanted
You blame me
When you cry all night
You blame me
When we fight and you start to yell and scream
You blame me
You say it's all my fault
Maybe it is
Maybe it's my fault because I didn't leave sooner
And for that I blame myself