We never said goodbye
I never saw you that day
Now all I do is cry
and waste my life away
I can't even try
Cause you didn't stay
I stare at the night sky
And I try to pray
But I don't know if he hears me
Or tries to see me through
Cause I will have to live
A lifetime without you

Why does everybody look down on me
They make me feel like I don't matter
They say things that aren't technically making fun of me
But they are still belittling me
I shouldn't feel like I am less than them
It hurts my feelings
But that doesn't matter does it

The sun had tucked behind the clouds
Now all that's left is sadness
As the clouds are sobbing, there is nothing left
The days are slowly fading
The sidewalk cracks are filled
With every drop of rain
And every ounce of hurt
The dark umbrellas are opened
And the dirt turned into mud
The happiness has drowned with
Every drop of rain

The air gets tight
so does the space
The people seem closer
Though they are far away
I get claustrophobic
I need out

𝒜 𝓉𝒾𝓂ℯ 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝒸ℴ𝓂ℯ 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓎ℴ𝓊 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝓈ℯℯ.
𝒴ℴ𝓊 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝒻𝒾𝓃𝒹 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓈ℴ𝓂ℯ𝒷ℴ𝒹𝓎.
𝒴ℴ𝓊 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝓁ℴ𝓋ℯ 𝓉𝒽ℯ𝓂 𝒶𝓈 𝓉𝒽ℯ𝓎 𝒶𝓇ℯ, 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓉𝒽ℯ𝓎 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝓁ℴ𝓋ℯ 𝓎ℴ𝓊 𝒻ℴ𝓇 𝓎ℴ𝓊𝓇 𝒽ℯ𝒶𝓇𝓉. 𝒴ℴ𝓊𝓇 𝓁ℴ𝓋ℯ 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝒷ℯ 𝓊𝓃ℯ𝓃𝒹𝒾𝓃ℊ 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒾𝓉 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝒷ℯ 𝓉𝓇𝓊ℯ ℐ 𝓅𝓇ℴ𝓂𝒾𝓈ℯ 𝓉𝒽ℯ𝓎 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝒻𝒾𝓃𝒹 𝓎ℴ𝓊. 𝒴ℴ𝓊 𝒹ℯ𝓈ℯ𝓇𝓋ℯ 𝒾𝓉 𝓉ℴℴ

Our love's     It's a game
One you thoroughly enjoyed
You let me fall into a trap
A poisonous game
Can't you see
I'm done

"Hey it's me, and I know you probably don't want to hear from me right now. That's okay I'll keep this short, but I wanted to say sorry. I guess that you never really know what you have until it's gone. I miss you and I hope you're doing okay. Anyway call me when you get a chance."

Never will I forget the sound of your voice
Or the melody of your laughter
My friend by choice
I’ll remember you far after
Now that we are so far apart
I’ll always know a broken heart
Tell me you’ll be waiting for me
Whenever my time arrives
I’ll look for you in heaven
We’ll meet in the afterlife

"Hey, How are you doing. We haven't talked in a while."
"Fine"
𝘓𝘪𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘦

As we look up from the ground we lay
We see the sight of a bright gray
The clouds above us
They look so sad
They look like they
Have just gone mad

Something you can never get back.

I was happy
before you and with you
But now
Now I'm just empty inside

I know you feel like giving up
hold on
You have people rooting for you!!

They say home is where the heart is
that's why my heart belongs to you

I'm so tired of this world
I'm so tired of trying
Why can't I give up

There are times when you can put into words how you feel
Other times you can't
There are days when you feel the motivation
Sometimes you don't
It's okay, that's normal

Me: Why can't I give up and just let go?
God: I have a plan for you here.
Me: I just don't understand.
God: You will see in time what I have in store for you.
Me: when?
God: When the time is right

The day I found out you were gone
I instantly lost all motivation
I stopped caring about things
I stopped enjoying what I used to
I stopped because I was more worried about you
Then I was about myself

Eventually everybody will know the name of Jesus
Either it be now or the day that he returns to take his people home
All will bow before the king.

If only I wasn't afraid to try
Maybe I could've made it somewhere

I'm not sure what I want
In someways I know for sure
In others I'm afraid
I know I have a choice
I just don't wanna make the wrong one
I feel so many things
But I don't know anymore
I'm just confused

Instead of leaning on my own understanding
I will turn to Christ

If it's meant to be
Maybe it will be
it's not
I'm glad it's not
You have to accept that

When Things don't go the way you wanted
You blame me
When you cry all night
You blame me
When we fight and you start to yell and scream
You blame me
You say it's all my fault
Maybe it is
Maybe it's my fault because I didn't leave sooner
And for that I blame myself

From a young age
You have been scared of the dark
Maybe it's because you never know what is lurking there
You never know what is hiding there either
As you grow up you learn that the darkness is still there
Just in a different place
It's in your mind
And you can never get rid of it

Through the sidewalk cracks it grew
Like a beauty brand new
Through the days of despair
It could never compare
But the flowers were you
And the beauty was too

I tried to tell you I'd be fine
I wanted you to know that it's okay
You won't have to leave me behind
But you don't have to stay

Is it possible to hate your own birthday
Because you know that on that day
You'll be older than she ever was

Womb
A new heart beating
A strong push in the belly
New life is starting
Birth
A beautiful thing
Such a love has came today
Now watch them grow big
Childhood
Innocent child
New to this amazing world
Growing strong and tall
Alive
I see the morning
Another day is coming
I am alive still
Death
When my time has come
Lay me on down in the ground
Allow me to rest
Heaven
See the streets of gold
Sing in the angels choir
Hear the trumpet sound
Eternity
To live forever
To smile in his presents
Now live with the lord

If you are only going to hurt me or say goodbye
Leave

I keep trying to express how I feel
But I fear I am doing a terrible job at it

Sometimes I feel so much
That I feel nothing at all
It's like I'm standing under a dark sky
staring at the ground
while the rain water soaks my clothes

Here I am
Shattered and broken
But ready to be repaired...

I'm done trying to be kind to you, when you make me so angry

I've messed up my metabolism
Because I compared myself to other people
I didn't eat for three months
I lost hair, I lost weight, so I gained an eating disorder
I tried to hide it from other people, especially my parents
Every morning I would dry heave until I threw up or until I couldn't breath anymore
Normally It would last for 15 minutes or more
I was passing out, and I was emotionally unstable
I weighed myself 3 times everyday
I was only 150 pounds
For me that was too much
I wasn't skinny like the other girls
It's been two years since I stopped eating
I'm still facing the consequences of that
I have to be on antacid pills
I can't eat a lot in one setting
I have to be on better eating schedules
Because now my body doesn't tell me if I'm hungry or not anymore
I have to accept who I am now
I have no other choice
Because I still have an eating disorder.

I'm sorry for leaving
But you know I couldn't've stayed

I like to look for luck
I know that I need it
but the luck of the clovers
Is Imaginary
It simply just doesn't work
I have found enough in the time that I have been alive
For the "luck" to last me until I die
Believe it or not four leaf clovers
Do not hold luck
But looking for them gives you something to do
If only you can be patient enough to look for them.

The overwhelming clouds above
Send rain and thunder
In a way it's like love
It makes us wonder

I'll love you until you give me a good reason not to.

If you ever should have to choose
choose what makes you happy

If ever you should have to leave
Leave with a purpose

If ever you should have to try
Do your best

If ever you should cry
Don't let anybody hear

If ever you're sad
Pray

If you cannot respect me
Why should I respect you?

I kept being too generous
You took that for granted
I kept giving
You kept taking
I gave my heart away to you
Then I took it back

The only way out is through christ

I write poetry because it's healing parts of me that I thought couldn't be healed.
'Cause it gives me a sense of purpose
Even if it is something that I might not be the best at
I enjoy It
I enjoy reading poetry and trying to figure out the meaning behind the words
I write about my life in hopes that someone out there might relate to it.

"That's the thing about pain, It demands to be felt."
- John Green
The Fault In Our Stars

Your free little bird
Fly away
go far from here
why must you stay
for it's cold and drear
your cage has been opened
yet you wish to never leave

I feel the same way

I miss you more than you know
One day you were here
The next you were gone
My Mom called me downstairs to tell me the news
As soon as she said you were gone
I didn't believe her
I thought that there was a mistake
It turns out they were right
You were gone
I cried because my heart broke
Every memory of us flashed into my head
You were my best friend
You still are
NOBODY can replace you EVER
I love you
You were like a sister to me
I remember crying so hard that my whole body ached for days
I should've called you that day
I wasn't there
I miss you
Why did you leave me?
Your gone now
I will never ever get to see you again
Now I have to live my entire life without you
So I play our song ( Not About Angels ) on repeat
And the intro to the song
Reminded me of your funeral
They played our song
It literally broke me
Even now I don't know If I will be okay

With him I get a choice
He never expects anything out of me
Instead he helps me
He listens to me when I have something to say
And if one day we don't speak
He makes sure that the next day we do
I never have to feel like I am less than him
I never feel like I have to be something I'm not
Instead I can snort when I laugh
And instead of him making fun of me
He laughs too
I can be myself knowing I am free of Judgement
I have been blessed with a friend who cares
I have a friend to listens

I only wish to be as good to him as he is to me

I'm sorry that I'm always saying sorry
I feel like I need to apologize every time I've done something wrong
Even in times where I know I haven't done anything wrong
I still feel obligated to say sorry
So forgive me please

when I lay there in the ground
don't cry
don't wonder what you could've done
just don't

I don't want a celebration of life
or a funeral

I want someone to lay me 6 feel below
and pretend I never existed

the world was better before I came into it