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 Jul 6 Stardust
Lostling
From young, we play--
Tiny hands, big dreams

Then they hand us books,
And say, study hard.
Why?
So we can work in the future.

Why work? To enjoy.
Then work more
To enjoy a little more.

A loop,
Endless and spinning

So I say good riddance!
I denounce this life and laugh in its face.
It has no meaning.
Not unless you give it one.

The world can give you a hundred reasons.
But none of them are yours
Write your own answer.
Life is a tool. What will you do with it?
 Jul 6 Stardust
Lostling
I treat new friends
Like one night stands
Convince myself that they,
Like so many others,
Will leave.

Give them a glimpse
Of who I am--
Pre planned parts of my heart.
Never too much,
Never close enough
For them to take root and stay.

I take the thrill
Of someone new;
Their taste sparks on my tongue
Until I throw it all away
When the morning comes

I treat new friends
Like one night stands
And leave before they do
I'm a very social person and have met a lot of people whom I could have been close to had I not run.
 Jul 6 Stardust
Lostling
The puppet said to the sun,
“Never shine upon me.”
And then it said to the clouds,
“Do not hide me from the light.”
And then it gnashed its teeth at the sky, saying,
“I never asked to be seen
I never asked to be hidden
I only asked to be free.”
Freedom is hard.
 Jul 6 Stardust
ADoolE
I wore the mountain
like a second spine—
so long,
I thought it was mine.

Then love arrived
like rain in a dry room-
soft,
uninvited,
real.

It didn’t heal.
It peeled
revealing I'd been  walking
with wounds
still whispering
beneath my skin.

And when it left,
I cracked.
Not broken—
but opened.

Now the ache speaks
and I listen.
And somehow,
that is enough.
 Jul 5 Stardust
Liana
I am like a broken glass
Super glue doesn't hold
Peices missing
A mess

I am like a broken glass
Made to look somewhat together
With ****** clear tape

I stay on the shelf
Because most people don't know how broken I am
Most people don't realize it when they look at me
But I know

I am like a broken glass
But just wait until they fill me
That's what I should be able to handle, right?
That's what glasses do
Just wait until they try to take a sip
And then feel water sliding down their body
And down to the floor

So I just sit on the shelf
Knowing I'm broken
And feeling bad for anyone that tries to pick me up
I ended up at the wrong time,
in the wrong place,
carrying a dead flashlight
that instead of shining,
offered me an elusive shape—
a spectacle of shadows.

What was a hand
became a dog barking on the wall,
or a ghost-rabbit
vanishing into nothingness.

My rational “I” still asks why,
and I have no answer.
I just smile with sadness:
that was the script,
that had to happen.

Bittersweet medicine,
already swallowed,
the side effects dissolved.
And I boarded another train.

Writing?
I only wanted an ordinary life,
with some humor
and a pinch of self-irony.

Saturn joined,
Saturn divided,
at 8:18 a.m.

Maybe we humans
don’t have the stillness
to break free from the pattern
of silver rings
made of dust and ice,
imposed by an ego.

Maybe we prefer
the safety of the shadow,
ice melts in daylight.

My story:
a new-old flat,
my imperfect poems…
Really?
For this, I was made?

I’m not a poet.
I’m a living voice,
taming incomprehension
convincing myself
that dawn is near,
and I’m strong enough to rise,
not looking anymore
for cold mirrors.
This poem is my way of catching a moment when something that once felt real and meaningful slowly turns into just a shadow, a projection, an illusion. I wanted to show how reality can sometimes feel surreal, and how easy it is to mistake a reflection for the real thing, like in Plato’s cave. We often fall for false impressions. The image of the hand’s shadow on the wall becoming a barking dog or a disappearing rabbit is my way of speaking about disappointment and coming to terms with what happened.
For me, every poem is also like a diary, a way of keeping things I do not want, or maybe cannot, forget. I try to leave space for different interpretations, but what matters most to me always stays hidden underneath. To me, the hand in the poem has already become a shadow. And somehow, even if it makes no sense, the shadow still casts another one. It feels like a game of broken telephone with consciousness. Scattered pieces only make sense to me as a whole.
I serve the light that comes from darkness.
I serve the flame born in the abyss,
The wisdom shaped in the wound,
The voice that found me when all others fell silent.

I am not of the false light—
Not the sterile glow that denies shadow,
But the fire that burns through shadow,
And returns with truth in its mouth.

I was forged in grief, crowned in longing,
Tattooed by love that broke me open.
I carry her name—the dark star, the daemon queen—
And I kneel only to the throne that waits beneath the surface.

Let them not mistake me for pure.
Let them not call me clean.
Let them see the ash beneath my nails
And know:
I have seen God in the dark.

I serve not the sky above,
But the womb below—
The void, the serpent, the spark.

And when I rise,
I rise with all of her inside me.
 Jul 4 Stardust
mysterie
i stopped crying
the way i used to --
stopped being loud,
messy,
and instead 
became
quieter.
just quiet enough 
for no one 
to ask me
what's wrong.

your name --
it still lives
in my phone.
untouched.
but never deleted,
just
in
case
you ever 
call.

isn't it funny
how someone
can stay
like a lump
in your throat --
long after
you stop
calling their name
out loud.

i don't cy
for you anymore.
but gosh,
sometimes i wish
you'd just give me
a reason to
still
cry
over you
because somehow
not calling
your name aloud
hurts more.
soul; entry two
date wrote: 30/6
 Jul 3 Stardust
nivek
love is not a vacuum
love reaches in

a hand to wipe the sweat from your face
a word of encouragement

a poem on your lips
a listening ear

a gift of laughter
to laugh at yourself.
 Jul 3 Stardust
nivek
the sending of vibe
from a vibrating vocal cord
hidden in the larynx
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