The real me's a ghost, even to my own eyes,
They haven't a clue this strength's a paper-thin disguise,
I'm fractured, a mess of sharp edges and deep cracks inside.
Every smile I wear is just armor where the real me can't hide,
Terrified they'll finally see the truth I can't outrun,
This version they see and label "me"? It's already undone.
Just because I choked out "I'm fine," they think I'm breathing free,
And is it a sin to keep this acting going, this lie that's eating me?
Is it selfish to keep whispering the words that taste like ash, "I'm okay"?
Is it selfish to just disappear into the shadows someday,
And finally show them the stranger they never bothered to find,
The one who'd hold tight to a darkness that offers a twisted peace of mind?
They'd think it's just sadness until they whisper the name in the air,
This constant companion? It's the glittering promise of nowhere.
They don't know who I am now,
Or this broken thing I've somehow become,
And honestly? Neither do I, anymore, I'm numb.
I just keep pacing, this frantic heartbeat racing,
Lost in the echoes, no one gets it, not even me.