A white flower
Has bloomed on my porch
Small glistening raindrops
Fall below it
Seeping into the grass and its concrete
The morning sun shines
Over the horizon
Wishing better days
To those below
I think of you
As the mist blinds my eyes
As the crow cries at the mourning
Today the sun shines
Between the dense pillows
And masks the glint between my pupils

The smell of fresh oranges
Hit my nose
I look down
You pick and pull at the peel

The underside of your fingernails
Have residue
As you poked and stabbed
At the pure fruit

Sweet juice drips down your hand
You move your head down
And lick it up
Your unhesitant lick sends shivers down my spine

You see me starring from above
My face of utter disgust
As blood drips down my thighs
And I lay paralyzed.

I’ve
been standing for way too long
My legs
wobble and itch
For me
to move
  
My next
word shall tell a story
Of how
much I’ve faked
Of how
much I’ve pruned
  
My
father stands aside the altar
My
Husband in touch
Crying
tears of joy
  
How he’s
wanted me to be “normal”
I raise
my chin as I walk forward
I wonder
if my husband knows
  
The white
lacy dress dragging on the floor
The
white roses hiding
Their
thorns under my clasped hands
  
I look
to my right and there she stands
My lover
and bridesmaid
Watching
as I get married to another

Small hairs sprinkle his hand
His touch is wet and uncomfortable
He smells of musk and ash
He's nervous

I try to contain myself from leaving
My minds fall back to you
It's like I'm sick
I gag on his smell

It's not one I know
Not one I want to taste

I hate you
Yet I come back
To your memory
Your sound

Is reminisced in my ears
You thwack and bang
Against my heart
Begging to be let out

I throw up on my words
They're like metal
Swishing and swallowing
My desire to let go

I end my meeting.
Leaving to my unwashed sheets
They outline the disgusting yearning
Of my body

A flash of light illuminates my face
Your picture
Your long hair.. and hairless arms..
I turn it off.

I have a date tomorrow.

I walk into the yellow kitchen
Soft buzzes come from the refrigerator
It smells of rotten memories
Maggots shroud the sink drain
My mother stands by the burning stove
Cigarette in hand
Mosquitos glint in the hard light
The windows closed
Yet you could see
From the outside
Dark shadows
Deformed and tangled
Knots in my scalp
They hurt to think about
My mother itches to pull them out
The weeds on my head
Are untamed and reek
Of ash that falls
Faint glimmers of yelling
Sprinkle the ***** floor
Another inhale
More glimmers drown
The air in the kitchen
She turns off the stove
And yells at the smoke
Covering her hand
I cover my ears
At the sudden shriek
Tears fall as I realized
I hurt my mom.

My eyes droop and tire
I stare in your direction
Longing for you to move
And come back to me

The trees burn and wilt
My hair grows into mats
I cant seem to let go.

My feet stay in place
Soft trinkles of water
Crashes of droplets hit
The uneasy tub

Days pass
I find myself waiting,
Again.

Large knots
In my scalp
Leave me crying
As I can't brush them out.

I'm worn and stained
I'm bruised and rotten
You throw me out
And the fly of your memory buzzes in my ear.