Show me innocence,                                                       ­                                 
                                                                ­                                                        
that I long to see                                                              ­                                              
                                                                ­                                                     
 The world is so tense,                                                           ­                         
                                       ­                                                                 ­               
it should find release                                                          ­                        
                                                                ­                                                
Escape into happy,                                                           ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­            
smile through the hurt,                                                            ­                                
                                                                ­                                              
make everything pretty,                                                          ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­   
don't think of the worst,                                                           ­                           
                                                                ­                                                        
look into the sunrise,                                                         ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­                    
take a cleansing breath,                                                          ­                        
                                        ­                                                                 ­     
laugh & don't cry,                                                             ­                                                 
               ­                                                                 ­                                    
let God handle the rest,                                                            ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­         
lie in the grass,                                                           ­                                         
                                                                ­                                              
cloud watch all day,                                                             ­                         
                                       ­                                                                 ­           
 eat sweets in
masses,                                                          ­                                
                                                                ­                                              
watch children play,                                                            ­                            
                                    ­                                                                 ­           
  visit a pet store,                                                           ­                                     
                           ­                                                                 ­                      
  and pet everyone.                                                        ­                                        
                        ­                                                                 ­                       
open your front door,                                                            ­                                        
                        ­                                                                 ­                           
  and let in the sun,                                                             ­                               
                                 ­                                                                 ­              
pick wildflowers,                                                     ­                                   
                             ­                                                                 ­                    
  eat an ice cream
  cone,                                                         ­                           
                                                                ­                                            
dawdle for hours                                                            ­                                  
                              ­                                                                 ­                   
and never go home,                                                            ­                                    
                            ­                                                                 ­                 
  climb an oak tree,                                                            ­                                
                                ­                                                                 ­               
walk barefoot outside,                                                         ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­            
  life can be easy,                                                            ­                                    
                            ­                                                                 ­                      
  take it all in stride

Enjoy the rise, the fall follows,                                                         ­                                     
                                                                ­                                            
 joined by sighs, that come
tomorrow                                                         ­                                 
                               ­                                                                 ­                        
In the limelight, the sun
shines                                                          ­                                                     
   In the twilight, stains of red wine                                                             ­                           
                                                                ­                                            
Beauty fades, just like real love                                                            
­                                                                 ­                                             
When we age, we see what we're made of                                                        
                                                                ­                                        
Children grow, if you let them,                                                            ­                    
                                            ­                                                            
Children know, what we teach them                                                             ­ 
                                                                ­                                                
Like the ebb and tide, and seasons changing,                                                  
                                                                ­                                      
everything in life is always rearranging

There comes a time in your life, when you have to face all you've done                                                             ­                                                        Have you tasted it, taken a bite, or crossed off your list, a single one?                                                             ­                                                         Are you living each day like it lasts because life goes so fast,                                                            ­                                                              so I like to do more often than not, sit myself down and straight talk                                                             ­                                                                You can't change or live in the past, it dims life's light with the shadow it casts                                                                                            ­                                It humbles me and makes me aware, love is garden that needs care                                                             ­                                                            It's so easy to build up a wall  ,impossible to scale it keeps out all  ,                                                           ­                                                            once you feel no one's there, remember you shunned all who cared                                                            ­                                                             Life is fleeting and love is strong, both must be given freely to work along                                                            ­                                                               I have seen it  many times,  life and love withering on the vine

I guess we have both taken turns                                                            ­ dealing  with and receiving life's burns                                                           but there are some that have with no excuse                                            you've broken me with your abuse                                                                 An easy target, I was so insecure                                                         ­              I'd had more heartache than I could endure                                                       I thought I had found a soulmate in you                                                 not  someone who'd break my heart in two                                              Even though  it was never earned                                                           ­ I  received another scar from life's burns

Self-medicating, trying not to feel                                                             ­finding life difficult and unable to deal                                                Searching for something that appeals                                                          ­disappointed  when nothing is revealed                                                      Closing my eyes, I stomach the pain                                                          resentment and anger takes over my brain                                                    Go and ask anybody ,they'll say the same                                                             ­                                                          we are all just pawns in life's twisted game                                                     We go through the motions ,a smile on our face                                                             ­                                                            pretending like life hasn't lost it taste

God, I stand here before you                                                                just a  simple broken human                                                            ­        In   the  past  I've  been  defiant                              ­                                   but  bless me with divine guidance                                                         ­ I've  been  brought down to my knees                                                            ­  seen  my darkest hours ,so please                                                           ­  could  you bring your light to me                                                               I  am in need of your mercy                                                            ­                       I  know that I  may have strayed                                   ­                         but  I  have never lost my way                                                              The path  to  you brings brighter days                                                  and  I've always had strong faith                                                          Lift me up, give me strength                                                         ­              give me courage so I ascend

I am not getting any younger                                                          ­                                                                                                         ­                     but deep inside I still have a hunger                                                           ­      to live, love and dream                                                            ­                                  so many places to go                                                               ­                        so many people to know                                                             ­       with so much in between                                                          ­                     I don't want to live forever                                                                            and will never say never                                                            ­                        For only God knows my time                                                             ­                so no matter what you say                                                              ­        I'll cherish each day                                                              ­                             like it's the last day of my life

If I could gather all my energy , like a lightning bolt, one thousand degrees                                                          ­                                                         I'd send it your way ASAP, then I'd pull you right into me                                                               ­                                                        Light a million fires till you say, a real I love you, everyday                                                         ­                                                     make you look me in the eyes ,look into my soul                                                             ­                                                            warm up your heart that has grown cold

You have made it so loud & clear,                                                           ­                                             
   that my efforts are not wanted
  here                                                          ­                
                                                                ­                                                      
  I've given you more than I
received,                                                        ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­ 
hoping you'd give me what I need                                                                     ­                                                       
I blame myself for loving
   you,                                                             ­                   
                                                                ­                                                      
for tolerating all of your
abuse                                                            ­                
                                                ­                                                            
 Keeping your secrets to keep
  you,                                                          ­            
                                                                ­                                              
made me equally as wrong as
you                                                              ­      
                                                          ­                                                              
  I can't even say that you used
  me,                                                           ­             
                                                                ­                                                        
I gave of myself so
eagerly                                                          ­                        
                                                                ­                                                
Even when I felt you
distancing,                                                      ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­           
I gave you all the time to be
free                                                             ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­        
So wrapped up in you, I didn't
see,                                                             ­   
                                                                ­                                                   
that you were manipulating
me                                                               ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­  
Your happiness was my
priority,                                                        ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­ 
even if it meant I got
nothing                                                          ­              
                                                  ­                                                              
They say you accept the
love                                                             ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­    
 you feel you are deserving
  of                                                            ­          
                                                      ­                                                            
  My eyes are open to who you
  are                                                           ­             
                                                                ­                                                  
  and that I have been living behind bars

The wind whispers softly to me                                                               ­                                    
                                                                ­                                            
 Telling me how my life could be                                                                  ­                                                    
 A story unrehearsed                                                                          ­                                               
Love in every verse                                                                    ­                                                   
Of two who overcome                                                                            ­                      
the odds to falling in  love                                                                          ­                             
Gentle breeze , tell me more                                                                         ­                                                  
Let me know what love is for                                                                                 ­                                                      
I listen quietly every day                                                                          ­                                   
To hear if love is on the way                                                                     ­                                    
Even leaves fall in pairs                                                                          ­                                                     
It seems that love is everywhere       
                                                                                                    
Everywhere but here with me                                                                            ­                                                     
all alone under this old tree                                                                                                                                                      ­   
The wind caresses my skin                                                                  ­                                                    
Where loving hands could have been                                                                    ­                                              
Why must I be all alone                                                            ­                                                                 ­                    
I want a love of my own

I don't know why I cried,                                                           ­                       
                                                                ­                                                  
when you walked away,                                                            ­                          
                                                                ­                                                        
I felt like we had died,                                                            ­                            
                                    ­                                                                 ­               
long before that dark day                                                              ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­         
    I think I was still holding                                                          ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                        
on to a sweet memory                                                           ­                           
                                                                ­                                                        
as I felt my heart folding,                                                         ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­                     closing in around me                                                               ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­            
It had really hit me,                                                              ­                      
                                                                ­                                                 
that our love was gone                                                             ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­      
and I would then be                                                               ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­      
forever lonely & alone                                                            ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­       
My heart was aching                                                           ­                               
                                 ­                                                                 ­                
and no one really cared,                                                           ­                                     
                                                                ­                                              
inside I was shaking,                                                         ­                                  
                              ­                                                                 ­             
broken & scared                                                           ­                                   
                                                                ­                                                  
We both knew it was coming                                                           ­             
                                                   ­                                                                 ­
but let it happen anyway,                                                          ­                
                                                ­                                                                
both hell- bent on burning                                                          ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                     
the one we loved in every way                                                              ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­          
a lesson worth learning                                                         ­                               
                                 ­                                                                 ­              
look at what we've done today

I am sending out the energy                                                           ­  of  love  and positivity                                                       ­                 Hoping  it  will reach someone                                                          ­ who  needs  it and will pass it on                                                               ­Bounce  it  around  and back again                                                           love  and kindness everlasting                                                      ­     without  it,  we never last                                                             ­          forget  the pain of your past                                                             Get  high  on life, intoxicated,                                                     ­ Don't  fight  it, don't debate it                                                               ­     Love  is all you'll ever need                                                             ­              Happiness is the golden key                                                              ­      You  can laugh through the good and bad                                                 have  the life you want to have                                                             ­    Smile  at everyone you see                                                              ­   share  your light and positivity                                                       ­    soon  you'll see them smiling back at you                                             the  effects of your light shining through

Love is like a rare flower, it possesses a power                                                            ­                                                 Drawing you in, luringly, beautiful but needs nurturing                         from a distance we can see all  of its outer beauty                                                           ­                                                      something we crave, something we need                                                             ­                                                          we drink it in so greedily ,but few can grow it properly

Wilted  red roses left on the table                                                            ­       their heads  now  bowed  down in shame                                                  once  a symbol we were stable                                                           ­       in  our  love so vain

The sparkle in her eyes,                                                            ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­           
get fainter every day,                                                             ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­            
no one can deny,                                                            ­                                                      
                                                                ­                                                      
that she's fading away                                                             ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­  
Sometimes she doesn't speak,                                                           ­           
                                                                ­                                                
there're times she won't eat                                                              ­                          
                                                                ­                                                      
We watch her grow weak,                                                            ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­       
as we tend to her needs                                                            ­                  
                                                                ­                                            
There're days she lays in bed all day,                                                             ­ 
                                                               ­                                                         
up inside her head it's okay                                                             ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­
Her memories become a haze,                                                            ­          
                                                      ­                                                  
bringing smiles that quickly fade                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                                      
I wonder what she's thinking today,                                                           ­ 
                                                                ­                                                  
you never know what she'll say                                                              ­          
                                                                ­                                                  
Her skin like tissues in my hands,                                                           ­     
                                                           ­                                                       
she says things we don't understand                                                       ­     
                                                           ­                                                       
  We all love her the best we can,                                                             ­ 
                                                                ­                                                
she is such a strong woman                                                            ­                
                                                ­                                                          
  Pict­ures of family on the wall,                                                            ­        
                                                                ­                                          
  nursing station down the hall                                                             ­           
                                                                 ­                                                 
We can't invoke new memories                                                         ­                                       
                         ­                                                                 ­                        
but that doesn't stop us from trying                                                           ­ 
                                                                ­                                      
Some day's we feel like crying,                                                          ­          
                                                                ­                                              
while we love her while she's dying

I've given myself permission to just be me                                                               ­                                          to  accept  myself as I am unjudgementally                                                  ­       to  look at my reflection and like what I see                                                       to  open  up  my                                   mind  to  loving  myself  wholly                                 ­                  to  seeing  all  the  things I do as natural for me                                                               ­                           and  stop  trying  to  do  what's expected of me                                                               ­                                to  accept  my  flaws  as parts of me                                                               ­ and  to love myself unconditionally                                                  ­    to  open  up my heart without fear                                                             ­         to  cry openly and to shed my tears                                                            ­to  put myself out there honestly                                                         ­        to  be all  that I am meant to be                                                               ­       to  stop  living for others and to put me first                                                       to  realize  I have value and what I am worth

You know that smile that reaches your eyes,                                                            ­                                                                                                              ­                                                        one  saved for love, the one for  surprise                                                    ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­               the one that's reserved, for no one but me                                                               ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­            like my favorite dessert, made especially

I've withdrawn into myself                                                         hiding  within  a fragile shell                                                            ­  Smile  until it hurts my face                                                             ­        Maintaining, mask still in place                                                            ­  Sometimes I think others can see                                                              ­        the cracks that are part of me                                                                          I  tell everyone that I am okay                                                             ­ foundation covers my dismay                                                           ­   As  I  blink back hot tears                                                            ­         raise  my glass and say cheers                                                           ­                     I'm  a master of disguise                                                         ­                   that  even  I don't recognize

I have been medicated                                                        ­                            
                                                                ­                                              
because life is overrated,                                                       ­                 
                                                                ­                                                        
it's better when I'm sedated                                                          ­                  
                                                                ­                                                          
If I wasn't I wouldn't make it                                                               ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­      
This is my brain on drugs                                                            ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­           
I only nod yes, or shrug                                                            ­                            
                                                                ­                                                  
Let the world handle the pain,                                                            ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­         
I like it here with the insane                                                           ­                   
                                             ­                                                               
 ­ Behind my fortress walls,                                                           ­                   
                                                                ­                                                        
  I can hide away from it all                                                              ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­ 
  Let the world self-destruct                                                    ­                                
                                                                ­                                                
  from here it doesn't matter much

This is my heart broken in two,                                                             ­                                                                      ­                                                      
it can't heal; it still loves you                                                              ­            
                                                    ­                                                              
Th­ese are my eyes tearing & blue                                                             ­     
                                                           ­                                                       
They can't dry; I still miss you                                                              ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­           
                                                                ­                                                  
These are my hands, shaking so bad                                                              ­                                                  
              ­                                                                 ­                                 
They just let go of the best I've had                                                            
                                                                ­                                                 
 These are my lips cracked & dry                                                          
                                                                ­                                              
Missing your kiss, asking why?                                                             ­                 
                                               ­                                                               
 ­ These are my feet unable to move                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                                      
I can't live here without you                                                              ­                                                                 ­                                     
                                                                ­                                                
This is my life without you in it                                                                     ­                                        
 Missing a piece that only you fit

Scared and anxious mother to be                                                               ­feels  all alone and is only eighteen                                                      she loves the child she can't see                                                              ­  it  doesn't matter if it's a he or she                                                             Irresponsible  dad, took off when he heard                                                   won't  be around to hear his child 's first words                                          Birthday  parties he will never attend                                                           ­ He  won't be thought of or mentioned                                                        ­         She prepares with a meager wage                                                        dollar  store trinkets for her precious babe                                                             ­                          She knows love  doesn't cost a thing                                                            ­  and you can't put a price on the joy they bring                                         She  will rise up to every occasion                                                         ­   do  what it takes with no hesitation                                                       ­   Teach  and  show her beloved baby                                                   how  to  be more like her and less like he

Fall is here, leaves are changing                                                     mountains  on fire under the sunlight                                                         ­  As  I walk, I start praying                                                          ­       thanking  God for this beautiful sight                                                       The  cold crisp air is all around me                                                               ­    as I button my coat up tight                                                            ­                 I  am a  young child all over again                                              kicking  leaves  with adolescent delight

Anything I did to you is less than you deserved                                              
                                                                ­                                                 
When I said I hated you, I meant every word                                                
            ­                                                                 ­                                   
your lying & cheating didn't break me down                                                        
You can do what you want, I won't be around                                                           ­                                          
                                                                ­                                                
 You can let your girlfriend take care of you                                                              ­      
                                                          ­                                                             
I am sure you will tell her what to do                                                          
    ­                                                                 ­                                                 
You two can run off in the sunset today                                                            ­            
                                                    ­                                                              
Don't let the door hit your *** on the way                                                        
     ­                                                                 ­                                            
You are Mr.Irresponsible,is she aware?                                                           ­               
                                                 ­                                                               
  That when she needs you, you won't be there?                                            
                                                                ­                                                
That when she starts acting just like me,                                                      
                                                                ­                                                  
that I wasn't the ***** you made out me to be                                                               ­                   
                                             ­                                                         
Goodluck, good riddance, you're not killing me,                                      
                                                                ­                                                      
I should thank her for setting me free                                                      
      ­                                                                 ­                                               
I hope you are happy now I am gone                                                             ­   
                                                             ­                                                     
she will go too & you'll be alone

My heart weighs one hundred pounds,                                                          ­          
                                                                ­                                                        
tethered by a chain that you drag around                                                           ­     
                                                           ­                                                           
  You­ have the power, you have the key                                                              ­        
                                                        ­                                                                
­ My abductor, but I stay willingly

Like a butterfly, my heart
flutters,                                                        ­        
                                                        ­                                                          
when you're around, it works
harder                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                             
When you're away, it goes into
arrest,                                                          ­          
                                                                ­                                                
loving you has put my heart to the
test                                                             ­                         
                                       ­                                                                 ­          
Can't breathe easy when you're not with
me,                                              
                                                                ­                                                    
can't see straight & I can't think
clearly                                                          ­                                      
                                                                ­                                                  
  Just one call from you & I am
  okay,                                                         ­           
                                                                ­                                                        
  I get obsessed with you more each
  day                                                           ­                       
                                                                ­                                                  
  You are the drug that feeds my addiction                                                        ­              
                                                  ­                                                                
­ The only remedy to cure this affliction

So much pain locked within,                                                          ­                      
                                          ­                                                                
depriving me of oxygen                                                           ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­          
Will I sink or will I swim?                                                            ­                   
                                                                ­                                  
  Sometimes  I want to give
in                                                               ­                                                                                                             ­                                                   
 I've taken the time to build walls                                                            ­                    
                                                                ­                                                        
as I try to contain it
all                                                              ­                                  
                                                                ­                                        
Sometimes it comes seeping out                                                              ­
                                                                ­                                                        
   like a scream or like a
shout                                                            ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­         
  I hold my breath, so no one sees                                                             ­ 
                                                               ­                                                   
the battle going on in me                                                               ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­            
Pray to the powers higher than
me                                                               ­         
                                                       ­                                                             
to help me deal properly                                                         ­             
                                                                ­                                                  
My careful facade is crumbling                                                        ­            
                                                    ­                                                    
exposing my vulnerability,                                                   ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­            
I wish to hold my head up high                                                             ­     
                                                           ­                                                   
watch me stumble as I try

Tell me, how does it feel to be,                                                              ­                  
                                              ­                                                             
  swimming in your toxic
acidity                                                          ­      
                                                          ­                                                            
An entire ocean of
negativity                                                       ­                                       
                         ­                                                                 ­                            
and you're in deeper than six
feet                                                             ­   
                                                                ­                                                
Trying to throw shade on
me,                                                              ­                                
                                ­                                                                 ­                 
  while I stand in my divine
energy                                                           ­                       
                                                                ­                                                
  Knee deep in your karmic despair,                                                         ­               
                                                                ­                                                  
  will you go anywhere from
there?                                                           ­     
                                                                ­                                                
  Have you learned any lessons at
all?                                                            
                                                                ­                                                  
  Will you drown or will you
fall?                                                            ­        
                                                        ­                                                          
  You always fear of being
judged,                                                          ­                  
                                              ­                                                                
  you'd rather have a ******
smudge                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                       
Staying hidden in your
disguise                                                         ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­    
starting with a foundation of lies                                                   
                                                                ­                                                
Clap back, you only get what you give                                                             ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­                
as I'm finding a better way to live

I know you said it was over for us,                                                              ­                                                              
I know I have broken your trust                                                            ­         
                                                                ­                                                        
but every time that you get
near,                                                            ­                    
                                                                ­                                                      
my head has heard but my heart has no
ears                                                      
      ­                                                                 ­                                               
You still look good and that's no
lie,                                                             ­           
                                                                ­                                                        
   I still smile when I look in your
  eyes                                                          ­                      
                                                                ­                                                        
  I know you've made it perfectly
clear,                                                           ­                                       
                         ­                                                                 ­                        
  but my head has heard but my heart has no
  ears                                                          ­
                                                                ­                                                        
  I make excuses just to talk to
  you,                                                          ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­       
  I can't take the fact that I've lost
  you                                                           ­         
                                                       ­                                                           
You say it's over, but I can see your
tears                                                      
     ­                                                                 ­                                            
My head has heard but my heart has no ears

This is my heart on pen & paper                                                            ­      
                                                          ­                                                              
you always tell me, you'll read it later                                                        
   ­                                                                 ­                                                 Meanwhile my life is passing by,                                                        
                                                                ­                                                  
filled with excuses & alibis                                                           ­                       
                                                                ­                                                        
  I wish you would just plug-
   in,                                                              ­                
                                                                ­                                                        
  I am tired of always begging                                                          ­                  
                                              ­                                                                
  Taking scraps that you throw me,                                                              ­    
                                                            ­                                                      
acting satisfied was killing me                                                               ­           
                                                     ­                                                                 ­
I had to put my heart on ice                                                              ­    
                                                                ­                                                 
 and stop being so **** nice                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                                  
All so I could act, just like you,                                                            
                                                                ­                                                   
 let you know what you put me through                                                      
                                                                ­                                                  
You remained selfishly absorbed,                                                        ­    
                                                            ­                                                           making it easier for you to ignore                                                           ­     
                                                           ­                                             
anything that was going on with me,                                                              ­                                        
                                                                ­                                          
it allowed you to continue to be                                                               ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­
the same person I couldn't see                                                            
                                                                ­                                              
while I loved you foolishly                                                        ­              
                                                                ­                                                      
I am glad that I stepped back,                                                            ­          
                                                      ­                                                                
­it helped me to see all you lacked                                                           ­                                                             
You weren't about me, now or then                                                    
                                                                ­                                                  
but now my eyes are opening                                                          ­        
                                                                ­                                              
  While my heart was in deep freeze,                                                          ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­           
I thought less about you, more about me                                                               ­       
                                                                ­                                                        
 I guess it's about time that I see,                                                          
  ­                                                                 ­                                               
that this the way It has to be                                                               ­         
                                                                ­                                                        
I am all I'll I ever need                                                             ­                 
                                                                ­                                                  
and I actually feel free

My heart looks like a crime scene,          
                                                                ­                                                        
   a victim of love bleeds profusely                                                        ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­       
So many cuts inflicted on me,                                                              ­                    
                                                                ­                                                        
your love has left it's print on me                                                               ­ 
                                                               ­                                                     
Your weapon of words cut like a knife,                                          
                                                                ­                                              
causing me pain, threatening my life,                                                          
 ­                                                                 ­                                                  
only held together with caution tape,                                                
                                                                ­                                                
sealed with lies & bitter hate                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                                  
Hit & run, I am left dealing.                                                         ­             
                                                                ­                                                
with a heart that has no feeling                                                          ­        
                                                        ­                                                          
You are guilty, the jury is in                                                               ­           
                                                     ­                                                           
may you burn with others condemned

I will bend but I will not
break,                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                                 ­  
I have given more than I
take,                                                            ­            
                                                    ­                                                                 ­     
I have fallen but got back
up,                                                              ­                  
                                                                ­                                                     
    paid my dues more than
enough                                                           ­                 
                                                                ­                                                  
Have stood tall against the
storm,                                                           ­             
                                                                ­                                                  
faced those who have done me
wrong,                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                             
I've surprised even
myself,                                                          ­                                      
                          ­                                                                 ­                 
walked through the fires of
hell                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                            
 You may ask me
  how,                                                          ­                              
                                  ­                                                                 ­               
I'm still strong even
now                                                              ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­         
I have one word to
say,                                                             ­                       
                                                                ­                                                
God, helps me through each
day                                                              ­  
                                                              ­                                                  
  With him in my
  heart,                                                        ­                                                
                ­                                                                 ­                               
 each day's a new
start                                                            ­                            
                                    ­                                                                 ­               
  He gives me all I need,                                                            ­      
                                                                ­                                            
  healing me when I
  bleed                                                         ­                           
                                                                ­                                                        
I owe him everything,                                                      ­                                                    
                                                                ­                                                  
  I love the peace he brings                                                           ­                                                       
         ­                                                                 ­                                        
My inner strength is
him                                                              ­                      
                                                                ­                                                    
He loves me despite my sins.

Sometimes the beauty in the world makes me want to cry                                                                                                                   I  wear  my  heart  on  my sleeve, and I don't know why                                                              ­                                     There  are  times I have cried singing children's lullabies                                                        ­                                             I  have  to  get tougher,  I know, I  wish I could, I  try                                                           ­                                                My  heart breaks  for  everyone  else  but  not  for me                                                               ­                                                             I  put  the  brakes  on  any  lame  self-pitying parties                                                          ­                                                     But  my love could open and part the seas                                                             ­                                                    It  clears a wide path that has set others free

I've been taking down the giants in my
life                                                             ­             
                                                   ­                                                             
Lining them all up without thinking
twice                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                                      
I'm so tired of bending for everyone
else,                                                        
   ­                                                                 ­                                                    
it's time for me to raise a little bit of
hell                                                             ­ 
                                                                ­                                                
Trying to breathe life into my
brokeness,                                                       ­   
                                                             ­                                                    
getting all the negativity off my
chest                                                            ­          
                                                      ­                                                                 ­ 
  I won't be bullied into changing my
mind,                                                        
   ­                                                                 ­                                          
every dog gets his day & I 'm taking
mine                                                            ­                                                    
            ­                                                                 ­                                           
You can't guilt me into thinking like
you                                                          
   ­                                                                 ­                                                    
I don't care if you don't like the
truth                                                            ­                
                                                                ­                                              
That's the first thing that you should
see,                                                             ­     
                                                                ­                                                  
this isn't about you, it's all about
me                                                              
                                                                ­                                                        
I found out something can you guess
what?                                                      
     ­                                                                 ­                                            
My opinion matters, so keep your mouth shut

This page is saturated,                                                       ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­          
with anger & self-hatred                                                      ­                
There's fury churning in
me                                                               ­               
                                                                ­                                                
Under close
inspection,                                                      ­                                
                                                                ­                                                        
    I hate my own
reflection                                                       ­                                         
                                                                ­                                                  
spare me your
pity                                                             ­                               
                                                                ­                                                        
A senseless waste of life,                                                            ­                          
                                                                ­                                          
pressured & under strife                                                           ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                                             
Danger lurks just beneath,                                                         ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­      
a knife without a sheath                                                           ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­                  
         I lash out or I'll
    implode,                                                    ­                            
                                                                ­                                                    
sensory overload                                                         ­                                               
                 ­                                                                 ­                      
Cutthroat with bad intentions,                                                      ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­     
you know, so stop pretending                                                       ­                                         
                                                                ­                                                  
No one can ever help me,                                                              ­                  
                                                                ­                                                      
I can't stand my own misery

On the day that my Daddy died                                                             ­                 
                                                                ­                                                        
I went home for my last goodbye                                                          ­        
                                                        ­                                                          
                                                                ­                                                
Took my last walk around that place                                                          
                                                                ­                                                    
Held his jacket up to my face                                                             ­                 
                                               ­                                                             
breathed in my last scent of him                                                              ­                
                                                ­                                                              
thought about how I'd miss him                                                              ­    
                                                            ­                                                        
paid my last respects at his grave                                                            ­                            
                                                                ­                                              
thanked him for all the love he gave                                                      
                                                                ­                                                
Then I cursed my stubborn pride                                                        
   ­                                                                 ­                                      
  because I wasn't there by his side                                                             ­     
                                                           ­                                                           
we had drifted apart with time                                                             ­   
                                                             ­                                                           
but he was always on my mind                                                             ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­        
I was stubborn, I was proud,                                                           ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­
didn't say I was sorry out loud                                                             ­           
                                                                ­                                                
That was the pain I'd always have,                                                        
                                                                ­                                                    
after all, I still loved my dad                                                              ­        
                                                                ­                                                      
  I felt guilty for many years to come                                                             ­     
                                                           ­                                                   
  didn't want to face it, I'd rather run                                                          
                                                                ­                                                  
But in the end, it catches up to you                                                              ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­ 
and when it does, it still rings true                                                             ­       
                                                                ­                                                      
I had to choose to forgive myself                                                           ­       
                                                         ­                                                           
or live a life writhing in hell                                                             ­       
                                                         ­                                                        
 I've come to grips with that pain                                                             ­                 
                                                                ­                                                         whenever I see my dad again,                                                           ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                        
 I'll tell him that I was so wrong                                                            ­    
                                                                ­                                                      
I didn't know I didn't have long                                                             ­                                                                 ­                              
                                  ­                                                                 ­               
I have learned lessons along the way.                                                        
    ­                                                                 ­                                                 
  I tell my loved ones I care every day                                                          
   ­                                                                 ­                                                  
  I know I'm still my daddy's girl,                                                      
                                                                ­                                                  
that he's watching me from his world                                                            ­    
                                                            ­                                                          
I sense his presence time to time                                                             ­             
                                                                ­                                                  
  He tells me he is doing just fine                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                                      
I know that he has forgiven me                                                              
­                                                                 ­                                                 
  and that knowledge sets me free

You made me so feel desperate                                                        ­                    trying to just hold on                                                               ­                     Then  I became pathetic                                                         ­                    when  I realized you were gone,                                                                  I  had thrown  myself at you                                                                        more  than a time or two                                                                        You  had  ripped my heart into                                                    ­              a  thousand  pieces  of blue                                                             ­                    That was a long time ago                                                              ­            you  hurt me more than you know                                                        but  I've  had time to grow                                                                      pulled  myself out of the lows                                                             ­    Now  things have changed                                                          ­                       I'm happy all over again                                                            ­                           and you're acting so strange                                                          ­                 trying to get me to reengage                                                         ­                  You only want me back                                                     ­                              To  fill the void inside of you                                                                                To make up for what you lack                                                             ­    with  my thousand pieces of blue

I am not a writer, I 'm a prisoner in my head,                                              
                                                                ­                                          
compelled to think, to write, what is being said                                                             ­       
                                                                ­                                                
Feeling too much, it comes pouring out of me.                                          
                                                                ­                                            
bleeding onto pages, demons exorcised from me

I want to float like a dandelion
seed,                                                            ­                                        
                                                                ­                                                       
  carried off by wind on a summer
breeze,                                                          ­            
                                                                ­                                                  
flying over grass, dipping past the
trees                                                            ­                  
                                              ­                                                    
The weightlessness of nature's
fairies                                                          ­                                          
                                                                ­                                                  
Hitch a ride on a high-flying
kite,                                                            ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­     
soar to the Heavens & out of
sight,                                                           ­ 
                                                               ­                                                 
crash into the ground, melt into the
earth                                                            ­  
                                                              ­                                                    
Let the rain take me to my
rebirth                                                          ­            
                                                    ­                                                           
  When summer comes, I will
  thrive                                                        ­                                                    
            ­                                                                 ­                                   
then break into the wind & come alive

Everyone's breaking off their pieces,                                                          ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­      
                                                                ­                                              
  leaving me broken & so empty                                                            ­            
                                                    ­                                                                 ­   
As long as they fulfill their needs                                                            ­        
                                                        ­                                                                
in the end who cares who bleeds?                                                          ­                  
                                              ­                                                                
­Tugging on the scraps of what's left                                                             ­                                 
                               ­                                                                 ­                
pulling at the heart in my chest                                                            ­              
                                                  ­                                                              
They get their fill they leave the rest                                                        
                                                                ­                                                
finally feeling sated, I clean up their mess                                                          
  ­                                                                 ­                                                   
I thought that what I gave to them                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                       
would be returned to me in the end                                                              ­                      
                                                                ­                                          
Leaving me sick with my confusion                                                        ­            
                                                                ­                                                    
all I am is & disillusioned                                                    ­                              
                                                                ­                                              
Never give your love away
 you may need it yourself, someday

I got some really good sleep last night                                                            ­forgot my worries, woke up to life                                                             new  attitude, new day to go through                                                   went  for a walk and then I called you                                                             Told you it was over, that I was moving on                                                               ­             laid  it  all  out  and  I'm  feeling  strong                                                          Now I can feel the sun shining once more                                                 have  a good feeling when I walk in my door                                                             ­                               Can  go  to  sleep  now in my own bed                                                              ­                               wake  up  without a sense of dread                                                                The clouds have lifted , I am smiling again                                               at  last my new life of happiness can begin

I was trying to control everything,                                                      ­            
                                                                ­                                                
answer the phone on the first ring                                                             ­                               
                                 ­                                                                 ­                  
That way of life became exhausting                                                       ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­     
and it didn't accomplish
anything                                                         ­   
                                                             ­                                                         
I admitted that I didn't know it all                                                            
 ­                                                                 ­                                    
Surrendered & fell into a free fall                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                             
Free from my trapped head
space,                                                           ­     
                                                                ­                                      
everything began to fall into place                                                            ­                  
                                              ­                                                          
Released from all my mental bounds                                                      
                                                                ­                                                        
I had survived being buried
underground                                                      ­      
                                                                ­                                                        
I armed myself with a new attitude                                                         ­ 
                                                               ­                                                   
and a newfound state of
gratitude                                                        ­                            
                                    ­                                                                 ­                   
I let my worry fall to the
wayside                                                          ­              
                                                                ­                                                  
and learned to really start living
life                                                             ­             
                                                                ­                                                        
I found out I love who I am
inside,                                                          ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­             
  I urge everyone to give it a try

Here I stand before you,                                                             ­             
                                                                ­                                                  
heart shattered, ego bruised                                                          ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­          
  The accuser and the accused,                                                         ­                     
                                                                ­                                                        
all judgement coming from
you                                                              ­    
                                                                ­                                                      
I'm sorry I'm not able to be                                                               ­                                   
                             ­                                                                 ­                        
the person you're
remembering                                                      ­              
                                                                ­                                                  
What I think I often speak,                                                           ­       
                                                                ­                                                        
it doesn't make me fragile or
weak                                                             ­ 
                                                               ­                                                     
As you stand here beside me,                                                            
                                                                ­                                                  
  you still act high &
mighty                                                           ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­    
  Like you have the authority,                                                       ­               
                                                                ­                                                      
to question me so harshly                                                          ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­      
 If you get cut you still
  bleed,                                                        ­                        
                                        ­                                                                 ­         
   you are no different than me

I have to laugh when you rush up to my walls,                                                           ­                     
                                                                ­                                                   thundering mad, trying to make them fall                                                    
        ­                                                                 ­                                               
   I think there's something you need to
know,                                                        
                                                                ­                                                    
they will never come down, they will never
go                                                  
                                                                ­                                                
You've broken my heart so many times
before                                                           ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­        
  that you will never get that close
  anymore                                                    
  ­                                                                 ­                                                   
It doesn't make me happy or
proud                                                            ­    
                                                            ­                                                          
to have to say those words out
loud                                                             ­       
                                                         ­                                                         
but you've given me no reason to
trust                                                            ­    
                                                                ­                                                  
   and without that, there will be no
us                                                               ­   
                                                             ­                                                     
  I've given you chances that you mess
up                                                               ­   
                                                                ­                                                  
  and I have taken more than
enough                                                          
­                                                                 ­                                                   
  So, that's your cue to turn & walk
away                                                          
  ­                                                                 ­                                               
  I'm no longer a partner in the games you play

Aww, your life isn't turning out like you want it to be                                                               ­                                                     so  here you are showing up hoping you could come to me                                                               ­                                                  thinking  that I could give you guidance or some sympathy                                                         ­                                                        even  after  the way you treated me so callously                                                        ­                                   Tears  in  your eyes and your all apologies                                                I  can  see  the manipulation so clearly                                                          ­  Funny,  not too long ago this would have worked                              but  now  any love I ever felt for you has been purged                                 The  *****  on you, to think that I would believe                                     in  anything you think you're going to achieve                                 I'm  going to push you away because I need to be                                  no  longer  there for you, but here for me

So, that class in anger management                                                      that sounded a little extravagant                                                      ­        that  you threw around like an accomplishment                                                   ­                                while  it  ended up being an embarrassment                                                    ­                                                You   still  get  aggressive   when  angered                                                   ­    Your heart is still black as cancer                                                           ­          You still sulk like a petulant child                                                            ­           I know, I got those memories on file                                                             ­    You tell anyone who believes you                                                              ­         that you've had some miracle breakthrough                                                   But I have learned to walk away                                                             ­              I ignore your immature displays                                                         ­         I  am no longer trauma bonded                                                           ­ I will  no longer remain haunted                                                          ­    I   used  to  feel  sympathy  for you                                                              now  I  know I  was  being abused

Take my heart, tear it in two,                                                             ­             
                                                   ­                                                                 ­  
put it back when you are through                                                          ­        
                                                        ­                                                              
You are the best at what you do,                                                          
                                                                ­                                            
showing me, I am nothing to you                                                              ­  
                                                                ­                                                
Knock me down, step over me,                                                              ­
                                                                ­                                                      
you treat me with such cruelty                                                          ­                      
                                                                ­                                                
Punish me with severity                                                         ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­        
for just trying to be me                                                               ­             
                                                   ­                                                             
Was there a time that you cared?                                                           ­   
                                                                ­                                                  
Did I imagine what we shared?                                                          ­        
                                                        ­                                                          
My heart is filled with despair,                                                         ­                 
                                                                ­                                                  
the hole you've left is beyond repair

Don't you know once we're down this road, there's no going back                  
                                                                ­                                                      
All these years of loving you, where did we fall off track?                                
                                                                ­                                              
Looking back at all the years, I doubt we would know when                                                             ­                                                
                                                                ­                                                  
We would rather hate each other than to call the other friend                          
                                                                ­                                                    
No use getting sentimental, it is what it is                                                  
                                                                ­                                                        
I don't know where we go after all of this                                                             ­                                                                 ­                                      
                                                                ­                                                        
You can go your way, and I will go mine, there's no turning back                      
                                      ­                                                                 ­               
The cards are laid & they've been played but the cards were stacked                
                                                                ­                                                      
It was felt but not said aloud for a long, long time                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                                  
We could have lived in ignorance & it would be just fine                                      
                      ­                                                                 ­                           
But I decided that truth would set us both free                            
                                ­                                                                 ­             
What we couldn't see was how it affected us emotionally

I saw the light in your eyes go out as I leave,                                        
                  ­                                                                 ­                               
heard you struggle for breath 'cause the air went with me                                                               ­     
                                                           ­                                                               
I have to admit I was more than pleased,                                                         ­                                                     
           ­                                                                 ­                                            
for the past hundred years you did it to me                                                          
    ­                                                                 ­                                                     
I wanted to look back & see if you were crying                                                      
    ­                                                                 ­                                                 
and it took all my strength to stop me from trying                                      
                                                                ­                                                          
  I wanted to watch your heartache firsthand                                                        ­
                                                                ­                                                  
  but then I'd be like you & I'm better than that                                        
                    ­                                                                 ­                               
  I'd have to be satisfied leaving you sitting there                                                            ­                  
                                                                ­                                        
   knowing that I hate you & now life is fair

You say you are ready to talk,                                                            ­                  
                                                                ­                                                    
after I tell you I'm gonna walk                                                             ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­      
Tired of the procrastination,                                                 ­                                             
 you bring to every situation                                                        ­                        
                                                                ­                                         
I hear your silence out loud                                                             ­                                           
                     ­                                                                 ­                              
I'm the only one in the crowd                                                            ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­      
who's always picking up the pieces,                                                          ­                
                                                                ­                                        
whenever your attention ceases                                                          
­                                                                 ­                                                 
This is the same thing, different day,                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                                  
you don't know what to do or say                                                              ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                      
and when you speak you tell me
  lies,                                                         ­               
                                                                ­                                                     
 so many reasons that you can't  
  try                                                    ­            
                                                                ­                                                        
I have heard all of this before ,                                                                ­                      
about how you will be there
more                                                             ­   
                                                                ­                                                        
Your love has filled my heart with
doubt,                                                           ­ 
                                                               ­                                                   
you have nothing I can't live
without                                                          ­              
                                                  ­                                                                 ­     
I really can't take on another
bout                                                             ­               
                                                                ­                                                      
  of surviving your nuclear
fallouts

You are back at my front door,                                                            ­          
                                                      ­                                                                
the one you slammed the year before,                                                          ­              
                                                                ­                                                    
with flowers and your, I love You's,                                                           ­                                     
                                                                ­                                                      
like you believe that I still love you too                                                              ­                     
                                                                ­                                                      
but all the words that you say,                                                             ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                           
have lost their meaning along the
  way                                                              ­      
                                                                ­                                                     
Sorry, I know the real
truth,                                                           ­             
                                                                ­                                                
that she's broken up with
you,                                                            ­                                                             
so, you're checking in on number two,                                                             ­                                                                                                                    ­                                               
how many more have you gone
too?                                                            ­                                                     
                                                                ­                                                  
You aren't man enough to love
 anyone,                                                        ­    
                                                            ­                                                        
 let alone us both, you're still a
 con                                                            ­                                            
                                                                ­                                              
 Even if I was desperate, you wouldn't
  be                                                            ­                
                                                                ­                                            
  someone I would take back
  willingly                                                        ­        
                                                                ­                                                 
 The year that I have been here
  alone,                                                        ­                                                                                  ­                                                       
  I have healed and I have
  grown,                                                        ­      
                                                          ­                                                           
  so, I suggest you go find number
  three,                                                        ­                                      
                                                                ­                                              
  inflict your twisted love on
  somebody                                                      ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­           
  I hope she figures you out from the
  start                                                         ­         
                                                       ­                                                           
  the­n turns around and breaks your heart