Sometimes I can't hardly breathe                                                          ­     I  have  a landslide of emotions in me                                                        that  gives me a bit of anxiety                                                          ­             and   I  struggle  with  my sensitivity                                                      ­   I  feel everything so deeply                                                           ­                 that  opens  me to vulnerability                                                    ­   but  I  don't  believe I am the only one                                                              ­                           or  there  wouldn't  be  any love songs                                                            ­    I am an admirer of writing  poetry                                                 somewhere  I  can let myself be free                                                             ­ pencil  and  paper  allow  me  to be                                               as  open  and honest as I want to be                                         While  I  write  it flows out of me                                                              without fear of scrutiny                                                         ­                      The  one place I can really let go                                                               ­           of  so  many feelings  others don't know

Waves are the clouds of the sea                                                         blue  and  pale,  then slowly darkening                                                        ­ Frothy  white  like cotton *****                                                                   turning black when darkness falls                                                            ­  Moonlight  shines through and reflects                                                    off  the waves in little flecks                                                           ­    Stars  shine  like sparkly fish                                                             ­           as  they fall  make a wish                                                             ­         Watch  the path the moonlight takes                                                            ­   across the water and the ripples it makes                                                         I  am in heaven when I am here                                                             The  sea and the sky ,both seen so clear                                                            ­ On  the horizon, they seem as one                                                              ­     broken  up  only  by   the  rising  of  the  sun

Sometimes I try to talk to you ,                                                         telepathically                                                                               and  every  time  I try to,                                                               I  swear  you  can hear me                                                                  I  try  to  implant pictures of the way we were                                                             ­                                        but  that  isn't  easy  because love's a verb                                                             ­                                              I  sit  outside  your  window  and  try  to  connect                         make  you  remember of how we first met                                                              ­                 At  night  when  you're  sleeping, I creep in                                                               ­                        visit  your  dreams  and make you mine again                                                            ­            I  kiss  you  and  hold  you  like  I used to do                                                               ­                             and  you  tell  me  that  still  you  love  me  too                                              ­                                             I  think it's working , when I see your face                                                             ­              I  know  you're  thinking  of  the  time and place                                                            ­     when  we  were  together  like  we used to be                                           I  know we're sharing thoughts telepathically

Security blanket and night light                                                            ­         pull the blanket up, chin tight                                                            ­    We  succumb to our fears                                                            ­           as  our  parents wipe away tears                                                         We  are  told it's okay to feel                                                             ­ but  no  one  tells us how to deal                                                             ­   Crawl  into our parents bed                                                              ­       told  it's  only in your head                                                             ­      Cradled  in Mommy's arms                                                             ­   we  feel  safe from harm                                                             ­              Sooner or later it's forced on us,                                                              ­   we  are told it's time to grow up                                                               Thrown out into the cold world                                                            ­     sink  or swim, little girl                                                             ­                  Just  because we turn eighteen                                                         ­      doesn't  mean a **** thing                                                            ­           Coddled, protected and secure                                                           ­           then  tossed  to the sharks gathered at the shore                                                            ­                               Wonder  why  they  come back home                                                             We aren't ever taught to how to be alone

When I am weak, he's strong for me                                                               ­ If  I can't go on, he carries me                                                               ­   When  I am empty, he fills me up                                                               ­ When  I'm hurting , he reminds me I'm loved                                          He  is always with me, I am never alone                                                            ­                              He  created  me  heart,  flesh and bone                                                             ­                                So  I  praise  him, he is all that I need                                                             ­    I  worship  him, every day , faithfully

Someone somewhere hopes tomorrow never comes                                                            ­                                           while  someone  else  can't wait to see the sun                                                              ­                                             For  some  it's  easier to erase away                                                             ­ each  and every one of their days                                                             ­ Somewhere someone has lost their soulmate                                                                                                       and  elsewhere  someone's   heart  is  filled with hate                                                             ­                                   while  one  just  cannot see                                                                how  others  live life so carefree                                                         ­  another  feels like the world might end                                             while  others chose to just pretend                                                          ­  that  nothing is going wrong today                                                            ­     and  everything  is going to be okay                                                             People all living so differently                                                      ­      some , like they think it is meant to be                                                       while another is barely holding on                                                           suffering and all alone

Your approval I used to seek                                                             ­   but  that  gave you power over me                                                               ­Taking my life back made you weak                                                             ­  I  opened my eyes up, now I can see                                                         I'm  not like you, nor do I want to be                                                    you  made  me  ashamed of being me                                                      I  broke  away, you can't catch me                                                               ­   I  don't feel lonely, I feel free                                                             ­                 So full of judgement, peppered with hate                                                             ­                                       your  jealousy  made  me  feel  second rate                                                             ­                                              My  wall  is up, I locked the gate                                                             ­     from here, I see you, as you deflate                                                         How  does it feel to be all alone                                                            ­I  couldn't live under a dome                                                             ­            I  am sure I won't be the only one                                                              ­           to  experience  your heart of stone

The seasons, they are changing                                                         ­ you  can  see it everywhere                                                       ­                        I  don't  think that it's strange                                                          ­      you  can smell it in the air                                                              ­   Leaves  are  gently falling                                                                   into  piles on the ground                                                           ­                          In  colors so enticing                                                         ­                   of  yellows, rust and brown                                                            ­                The days are getting colder                                                           ­       and  nighttime comes so soon                                                             ­  The  school kids are one year older                                                           and  are learning about the moon                                                             ­       The  teens are playing football                                                         ­     while  all  the girls cheer                                                            ­               I  love the signs of fall                                                             ­                      and  I'm so glad it's here

Have you ever seen a road                                                             ­           that  you never saw before                                                           ­ and thought  you would like to go                                                               ­    and see what it had in store?                                                           ­            A road you didn't know existed                                                          ­     up  in  the mountains you visited                                                          ­             How  many times had you missed it?                                                              ­  covered in clouds and in grey mist                                                             ­      A  road no longer accessible                                                       ­                    covered  by trees, so successful                                                       ­          unnoticed  by you, how regretful                                                        ­     A  landmark of the past, so peaceful                                                         ­      Untouched by the world ,so long                                                             ­  It  held  up independent and strong                                                                To  tear  it down would be so wrong                                                            ­  I  walked there, birds in song                                                             ­     Feeling  like I had gone back in time,                                                     I  closed my eyes and opened my mind                                                              I  could escape this life of mine                                                             ­         and  immerse myself in one more divine                                               Ivy  climbing ,a moss covered pathway                                     from  now  onto a road to yesterday                                                        ­ where rabbits and squirrels still played                                                         and  I knew I wanted to stay                                                              Every  tree  so lush and green                                                            ­  Foliage  growing so peaceful and serene                                                           ­    A  place  of  refuge  where  I could stay                                                             ­                                                      I  am  glad  I found the road to yesterday

There is a red covered bridge                                                           ­           not  too far from here                                                             ­               with  a  wooden plank floor                                                            ­                where all time disappears                                                       ­                             A  creek  runs  underneath                                      ­             rippling    and  running deep                                                             ­ currents  filled  with colored leaves                                                           ­pushing  through steadily                                                         ­                   Enclosed by shade filled trees                                                            ­          I  can feel it calling out to me                                                              Sometimes in my mind                                                             ­   I  imagine  back in time                                                             ­           who  may  have wandered through                                                          ­      did they have the same point of view?                                                      Was  it just as beautiful to them                                                             ­       a  small slice of heaven?

The roses you sent me                                                               ­      are  withered on the vine                                                             ­                   As  dead as my heart is                                                               ­               since  you're no longer mine                                                             ­   The  picture you gave me                                                               ­                    is  covered with dust                                                             ­        Such  a  sad  reminder                                          ­                                       of  the  two of us                                                               ­                     The  card  that you wrote                                                            ­ is  yellowed  with age                                                              ­   evoking  memories of                                                               ­               our  better days                                                             ­                                  All  of my friends say                                                                              to  throw them away                                                             ­        But   while they are here                                                             ­                 a  piece of you stays

Memories like rippling water                                                rings  spreading  out and then fade                                                             ­Dissipating and traveling farther                                                          ­ until  they disappear with grace                                                            ­ Each  ripple like a tree ring                                                             ­    indicate  a time and place                                                            ­                of  a  life time we were living                                                           ­    filled  with memories we can't erase

I'm on the ship called Overwhelmed                                                      ­   and  there's no Captain at the helm                                                             ­    No life jackets and no ropes                                                            ­           no  life preservers and no hope                                                             ­  It's taking on water with every wave                                                            no  one is immune, no one is saved                                                            ­  The  sea doesn't care who it takes                                                            ­     and  life  is  unforgiving  in  the  same way                                                              ­                                              Doesn't  matter if you can swim                                                             ­          you can't survive this sea current                                                          ­Everyone aboard is going to drown                                                            ­ no  worries of this ship running aground                                                          ­               This  ship  won't  have  any  survivors                                                   Hell  is  the  destination for its riders                                                 You  knew this before you got on                                                               ­ Your  life was over and long gone                                                             ­You  should have kept one foot on the shore                                                            ­                        You  could  have  turned  back if you weren't sure                                                             ­                                                But  once you boarded that chance was gone                                         We  come into life and leave it - alone

I am empty inside; I have nothing left                                                             My  heart  is  weightless inside my chest                                                            ­                       When  you  left  you  took me too,                                                             ­      I'm a fragile shell without you                                                              ­       Hot  ,lonely  tears that bear your name                                                             Memories  are all that remain                                                           ­           I  close my  eyes and I see your face                                                             ­ A  love that I can never replace                                                          ­ Someone  said that time heals all wounds                                                       looks  like that time won't be too soon                                                             ­  Everywhere I look are traces of you                                                              ­  that I can't escape, Do I want to ?                                                                ­     Those images are all I have today                                                            ­ Now  I don't  know if  I  want them to fade                                                             ­                                                      So  here,  I am torn and still missing you                                                              ­                                             only  physically because mentally  I'm with you

Now my third eye is opened                                                            I'm  closing  off  all  of my emotions                                                         ­ Because  I'm now in the position                                                         ­      to  use all of my gifts of intuition                                                        ­  Armed  with  raised vibrations                                                       ­          I  have absolutely no reservation                                                      ­                to destroy all of the foundations                                                      ­                   you have built for manipulation                                                     ­          Equipped  with depth and clairvoyance                                                     ­ you've  become a mere annoyance                                                        ­     to  be dealt with and dismantled                                                       ­         the way you wanted me to be-cancelled

I am broken and tattered                                                         ­                  Is  it  that too plain to see?                                                             Tell  me  that  it  doesn't matter                                                           ­ that you can still love me                                                               ­                 Hold my hand and tell me                                                               ­             that  you won't go away                                                             ­                    Persuade and convince me                                                               ­                    that you plan to stay                                                             ­                      Let  me lay up against you                                                              ­                       I need to feel that I'm safe                                                             ­          I'm  doing all I can do                                                               ­       to  ease  the  emotional weight                                                           ­  Pull  me  into  strong arms                                                             ­        protect  me from myself                                                           ­  Save  me  from  self-harm                                      ­                            I  put  myself through hell                                                             ­     Be  my  personal life line                                                             ­                Throw me a strong rope                                                             ­          Be  there  at the right times                                                            ­               before  I lose all hope

I have never meant anything to you                                                              ­You kept me around for something to do                                                        I've  said  it  before,  but  I am through                                                          It's  time  that  I  move  on  to  something new                                                              ­                                        I  gave  of  myself  one hundred percent                                                          ­   until  I broke while you never bent                                                        Thinking that you were too good for me                                                as  you chiseled away at my self-esteem                                                      ­ I  only stayed because I thought it was true                                                       that I couldn't do any better than you                                                        but  if you really are the best that I'll do                                                             that  says  more about me than about you                                                              ­                                              That  I  would sell myself short so that I                                         could  just have  someone  be by my side                                                             ­                               I'd  rather  be  alone and spend time on me                                                               ­                                                this  very  person  that  has  been hiding                                                           ­                                Sometimes  people  are  like  steppingstones                                                  ­   and  I was  meant  to follow that road                                                             ­   to take me from where I used to be                                                               ­      to undiscovered territories

I don't know this stranger looking back at me                                                               ­                                                   I   don't  remember  changes  really   happening                                                        ­                         My  face  no  longer resembles me                                                               ­  I  put  my  hands  on  my temples, cradling                                         Who  is  this person before me, I say out loud                                                             ­            Someone  who  once  held  her  head up proud                                                            ­                              Now  I  am  just  another  person in decline                                                          ­                                 Whose  eyes  have  faded and no longer shine                                                            ­                             They  used  to  be  such a beautiful blue                                                             ­                        Now  they  are  dull  with a slight yellow hue                                                              ­                                 Lines  and  wrinkles are covering my pale skin                                                                                                             reflecting the same way I feel within                                                           ­   Where did my life go, what have I done?                                                            ­                           Have  I  ever  meant anything to anyone?                                                          ­                                   All  of  these  realizations scream out of me                                                               ­                                      while  the  person  in the mirror stares back lifelessly

I broke myself trying to hold you together                                                         ­                        withstood  the  waves of your stormy weather                                                          ­                         apologized  when  you  were the aggressor                                                        ­                                       always  the  victim  of  your constant displeasure                                             Had your foot on my back, and you kept me down                                                             ­                                               always  tethered to you, forever bound                                                            ­ But  if  the  truth  be told, it's you who needed me                                                               ­                                             I  am  the  strong  one  and  you  who  are weak                                                             ­                                                                If I would walk away from you this very day                                                 your ego would crumble and you'd slip away                                                 all of that aggression would fall into submission                                     wouldn't that be an interesting juxtaposition

God, I've been blessed in so many ways                                                             ­                                                   I  can  look forward to it every day                                                              ­ I  can't thank you for it face to face                                                             but  I will when I reach that heavenly place                                              All  my life, you've been there                                                            ­  when  I  thought  that nobody cared                                                            ­  A special   bond  we've   always  shared                                     all  of  my  burdens, I've been spared                                                           ­    So for now, I'll thank you here                                                             ­       in  my  heart , you are always near                                                          when  I  die,  I  will   not  fear                                                      ­    for  all  of  my  sins  have  been  cleared                  ­                                   I  had been lost but on the way                                                                        You showed me the path to heavens gate                                                  I  know that my future is bright                                                           because  I'll walk your eternal light

I want to go where the  tall grass is green                                                            ­                                      a  place  where  blue fish live in the streams                                                          ­                         Where  waterfalls  flow with  honey from bees                                     Giant  trees are covered with silver leaves                                                   I  yearn  to live where  the animals lie                                                              ­  A place of peace where I'll feel alive                                                            ­  Somewhere the birds fly all around me                                                         Where  they sleep so safe and so soundly                                           Where  you see a star and you make a wish                                         I   know  in my heart this home exists                                                           ­    A  place where the lavender sky is clear                                                   where  its beauty is beyond compare                                                          ­    A  spot untouched by any mortal man                                                         Acres  and  acres  of  God's  holy  land                                ­                                 I   am  positive this is where heaven lies                                                 I  hope to go there when I die                                                            A  beautiful  land  that God himself created                                      and  once I arrive my soul be fully sated

It wasn't until after she had died                                                             ­That they opened up their eyes                                                                   it was then that they realized                                                         ­         who  she really was inside                                                           ­    While  going through her things                                                           ­         old letters and diamond rings                                                            ­ she was  no longer  a  mystery                                               ­           she  became their history                                                          ­                        She had had so much to say                                                              ­        if  given the time of day                                                              ­                         They really had no clue                                                             ­                          of who they thought they knew                                                     She  had a  different life                                                             ­                            other than grandmother and wife                                                             ­        She  had hopes and she had dreams                                                           ­           so much was unforeseen                                                       ­        Pictures they had never seen                                                             ­                 of  all  the  places  she  had  been                                ­                                           Stories  they  would never hear                                                             ­           or  what she had done there                                                            ­            Letters written during the war                                                              ­         from boyfriends she had before                                                           ­      Scrapbooks of her past                                                             ­                       a  lifetime  gone by  too fast                                                             ­            With  tears and memories                                                         ­             They  knew that she would be                                                               ­    cherished  in every way                                                              ­            and  in their hearts she would stay

I surrender; I give you my everything                                                       ­           A pretender, without you I was nothing                                                     on my knees, I confess it all to you                                                   Comforting, I know your word is truth                                                           You were there, had my back all along                                                      Loving me ,in your arms I feel so strong                                                   What  relief, You've washed away my sins                                                             ­                                        Sweet  surrender , a  new  way  to  begin

The winters snow is marching in                                                               ­       you can feel it behind the wind                                                             ­              I  look  out  the window I always do                                                           A  big oak tree is in my range of view                                                           So  many seasons I've watched go by                                                             seen  its  leaves turn emerald bright                                                           ­watching as they fall to the ground                                                         landing softly without a sound                                                            ­  Beautiful  leaves with silver side up                                                             shielding themselves from raindrops                                                        ­  Lit  up by lightening all in white                                                            ­ during a thunderstorm at night                                                            ­        all  of this beauty here to see                                                              ­       that God has placed before me

Listening to you softly playing                                                          ­       on your guitar, your body swaying                                                          ­        Barefoot, no shirt just jeans                                                            ­          with  nothing else in between                                                          ­     Just  you and your voice in verse                                                            ­  I  can  feel each and every word                                                        You  close your eyes and let go                                                               ­   emotionally  charged song and notes                                                       You  don't know  that I'm standing here                                                        I  sense your beauty loud and clear                                                            ­   My  heart surges with appreciation for you                                             Then  you  notice  me  noticing you                                                              ­   But  even  with my  embarrassment  in full view                                                                                                             You  say, this  next  song  is  dedicated to you

I close my eyes and see an orange light                                                            ­         Tangerine  aura  with creamsicle stripes                                                          ­                                              free   flowing  like  lava  in  a  lamp                       ­                                      bubbling with heat and hot like sand                                                             ­   I  close tight my eyes and take it all in                                                   a thing of beauty, I  am witnessing                                                       ­   unfolding on my movie screen eyelids                                                            I lean in to gaze at, it's so brightly lit                                                       Setting sun and pumpkins come to mind                                                 in  this  eye candy illusion that is all mine                                                     I  can chose to fall into this colored abyss                                                       take a swim and immerse in it                                                            It's  a  path , a labyrinth that can take me                                                        to   many  places  of  color and  of beauty

On my knees in the parking lot                                                              ­   knew  what I had and now it's lost                                                             ­ Tears  streaming down with all my pain                                                             ­                             pantlegs  soaked  with  cold  wet rain                                                     You  walk away like I'm not here                                                             ­ as  I  scream  out my hopes in fear                                                             ­ your  coldness stabs me like a knife                                                           Did  I  mean nothing in your life ?                                                              Then  here comes the taxicab,                                                         ­              you  jump in, not looking back                                                             ­   While  I collapse so completely                                                       ­      in  an  instant, all's taken from me                                                           I  knew right then that that was it                                                               gold  just passed through my fingertips                                                    and  if I never again  see your face                                                         the  hole in my heart remains an open space

If you feel your world's going to end                                                              ­and your heart just won't mend                                                             ­   or  that the sun hasn't shined for days                                                 When  you can't see the brighter side                                                       or  you feel  you want to run and hide                                                        you  have to try hard to find your way                                                              ­  Turn on  your  brightest  of  lights                                     ­              close  your  eyes  to  life's  blight                          ­                                  then  get down  on your knees and pray                                                             ­                                    Take  a  deep  breath and exhale                                                           ­  Have  faith  that God will prevail                                                          ­  He  can change your life today

I got some really good sleep last night                                                            ­forgot my worries, woke up to life                                                             new  attitude, new day to go through                                                   went  for a walk and then I called you                                                             Told you it was over, that I was moving on                                                               ­             laid  it  all  out  and  I'm  feeling  strong                                                          Now I can feel the sun shining once more                                                 have  a good feeling when I walk in my door                                                             ­                               Can  go  to  sleep  now in my own bed                                                              ­                               wake  up  without a sense of dread                                                                The clouds have lifted , I am smiling again                                               at  last my new life of happiness can begin

I've withdrawn into myself                                                         hiding  within  a fragile shell                                                            ­  Smile  until it hurts my face                                                             ­        Maintaining, mask still in place                                                            ­  Sometimes I think others can see                                                              ­        the cracks that are part of me                                                                          I  tell everyone that I am okay                                                             ­ foundation covers my dismay                                                           ­   As  I  blink back hot tears                                                            ­         raise  my glass and say cheers                                                           ­                     I'm  a master of disguise                                                         ­                   that  even  I don't recognize

The world is trouble right now                                                              but we  have to make it right somehow                                                         It's  so easy to just bow down                                                             ­ when  everything is falling all around                                                       Plant both feet on solid ground                                                           ­    get  ready for a second round                                                            ­           Two wrongs never make a right                                                            ­ we  have to stand and put up a fight                                                  People  rioting  in  our streets                                                    all  in  the  guise  of  free speech                                                           ­    Innocent children are dying every day                                                     as  the evil are  having their way                                                  But  our  faith  gives us the hope                                                             ­  and  the strength to cope                                                             ­                    God  is humbling us                                                               ­                            it  is in him we must trust

I made a heart wrenching decision today                                                            ­                                              It's  more  painful  than  mere words can convey                                                           ­                                            My  dogs health has started to decline                                                          ­      I'm  lovingly sending her where rainbows shine                               With  tears of love falling down my face                                        I'm  flooded with memories I wouldn't replace                                             Waves  of grief wash over my broken heart                                                            ­                                         leaving  her behind will be the hardest part                                                             ­                                                         Tonight  will  be our  last night at home together                                                         ­                                          after  that  my life will be changed forever                                                          ­                                       Her  toys,  blankets ,beds and sweet memories                                                         ­                                            is  all  I'll  have  when  I  return to welcome  me

You  view  my kindness as weakness                                                  that's  a  reflection of your bleakness                                                        ­ You hate my ability to show my light                                                            ­ while you live in the darkness of night                                                             Envious of my endless empathy                                                          ­ It's  easier to be disparaging                                                      ­          I  continue to stand my ground                                                           ­ I  am  genuine  and rootbound                                                        ­               As  your jealousy rises and peaks                                                                     I  will  turn the other cheek                                                                 I  pray  that  someday you'll find                                                             ­              your very own peace of mind

Does anyone say thank you anymore?                                                         ­     Or is everybody just keeping score?                                                           ­      You do one for me, then I'll do one for you                                             whatever happened to just being true?                                                           Kindness can be shown so easily                                                           yet a thank you is said less frequently                                                       ­ Open your heart and express gratitude                                               Respect  the gesture that's been given to you

So, that class in anger management                                                      that sounded a little extravagant                                                      ­        that  you threw around like an accomplishment                                                   ­                                while  it  ended up being an embarrassment                                                    ­                                                You   still  get  aggressive   when  angered                                                   ­    Your heart is still black as cancer                                                           ­          You still sulk like a petulant child                                                            ­           I know, I got those memories on file                                                             ­    You tell anyone who believes you                                                              ­         that you've had some miracle breakthrough                                                   But I have learned to walk away                                                             ­              I ignore your immature displays                                                         ­         I  am no longer trauma bonded                                                           ­ I will  no longer remain haunted                                                          ­    I   used  to  feel  sympathy  for you                                                              now  I  know I  was  being abused

I have watched you in action                                                           ­                  trying to provoke a reaction                                                         ­                  whether it's positive or negative                                                         ­                  The lengths you will go to                                                               ­                are  more than enough proof                                                            ­    that  this  is beyond manipulative                                                     ­               Caught up in your lies , you deny                                                             ­ like  I  should believe and comply                                                           ­ Your  arrogance is unparalleled                                                     ­        You  project views of perfection                                                                   to hide your fear of rejection                                                        ­                       while you put everyone through hell                                                     But  you still don't get it yet                                                              ­        you're  just a textbook narcissist                                                       ­              and  nobody is really impressed

I have been crying every day                                                              ­       I  have let pain get in the way                                                              ­       of  the blessings that I have received                                                         ­ I've  been down and I've been out                                                                     forgotten  what livings all about                                                            ­     It's  time I enjoy all that I've achieved                                                         ­    I  raise my hands and say a praise                                                                Start a fire and let it blaze                                                            ­          Let  it  burn for an eternity                                                         ­        Take  all  my hurt and suffering                                                        ­          leave  it scorched and smoldering                                                       ­        from the ashes  I'm a phoenix rising

God, I stand here before you                                                                just a  simple broken human                                                            ­        In   the  past  I've  been  defiant                              ­                                   but  bless me with divine guidance                                                         ­ I've  been  brought down to my knees                                                            ­  seen  my darkest hours ,so please                                                           ­  could  you bring your light to me                                                               I  am in need of your mercy                                                            ­                       I  know that I  may have strayed                                   ­                         but  I  have never lost my way                                                              The path  to  you brings brighter days                                                  and  I've always had strong faith                                                          Lift me up, give me strength                                                         ­              give me courage so I ascend

Melted down to nothing                                                                                I  have been forged into steel                                                            ­                     I  am finally becoming                                                         ­                                 as  strong as I feel                                                             pressure's  been  applied                                        ­                                                heat  has  reshaped me                                                               ­                       I'm no longer broken  inside                                                   ­   I am double edged and deadly

You are  always the victim, never to blame                                                            ­                               the first one  to cry  when  caught  up  in your games                                                            ­                                        Chaos  and  drama, the storm you've created                                        fueled  with vengeance, malice and self-hatred                                                      ­                                        Those  fake  tears you cry, your bid for attention                             hoping  someone will buy your faulty perceptions                                     When  confronted with truth, you run and hide                                           manipulate and gaslight with bold faced lies                                       Pull  others into believing you are innocent                                              of  the facts that you choose to misrepresent                                          I  don't need to be the one to put on blast                                               soon  or later, you'll catch fire and crash

You took out all of your pain on me                                                               ­      a transference of negative energy                                                           ­            But you couldn't stand who you really are,                                                         and  you made me your blind nurturer                                                 Well that's where I really went wrong                                                    because I was strong  all along                                                                       and all  that strength  was too much                                                            No  one  could  ever love you enough                                                       I  took ownership of your projected flaws                                              that  didn't even   exist in me at all                                                  The  flaws  that  lived inside of you                                                              ­  before you and I and after us too                                                             Until  you deal with the way you feel                                                  you  won't  ever be able to fully heal                                                            So  while you're pointing fingers at me                                                        take  a good look at yourself and you'll see                                              You're  the host  to a parasite that's digging in                                        can't  you feel it crawling under your skin?                                              I  can't be the person who draws them out                                               you  are filled with hatred and self-doubt                                              I've  seen this pattern a thousand times before                                             It's everyone else's fault; it is never yours

After  years  of  you  giving me the silent treatment                                                        ­                                          if  no  one  calls  I  think  it's because  of a disagreement                                                     ­                             Because  of  your consistent  lack  of communication                                                    ­                  sometimes  when  I talk, I forget people are listening                                                        ­         Convinced I am never enough or  I'm too  much                                                        ­                                                I overdo for others in hopes of earning their love                                                             ­                                                     Under your  sense of grandiose entitlement                                                      ­                                                      I've  put myself last and under your judgement                                                        ­                                                    With persistent efforts to  disrespect me                                                                                                                          I  over explain and apologize habitually                                          I've  accepted bread crumbs of your affection                                                        ­                                             a love  concocted of toxin and poisonous venom

I wish the rain would pour down                                                             ­    and  flood this garden I'm forever tending                                                 Submerge  and deluge the ground                                                           release me from this chore, never ending                                        I've  been  relentless and loyal                                                            ­   shining  my  light until it went dim                                                            Had my hands ***** with this soil                                                         despite  repeated handwashing                                                      ­    I  have  yet to see us flourishing                                                      ­         we  can't grow in this sour ground                                                             No  matter how much nourishing                                                     our  love's leaves are dried and brown

I'm holding onto a makeshift raft                                                          sailing  into a hurricane's wrath                                                            ­             Tossed  around in a sea of emotions                                                         ­ trying  to navigate a turbulent ocean                                                          The  waves crash in mercilessly                                                      ­ choppy  waters, dangerous seas                                                             ­   in  the perils of uncharted territory                                                        ­ drowning in tempestuous energy

I know you only want to talk                                                  because you  know  I'm  going to walk                                                                I  met  your childish silence                                                          ­ with  strength  and defiance                                                         ­  You  thought that I would cave                                                             ­ Stand  back while you misbehaved                                                       ­    Now  that  your  tower moment is here                                                         all  that ego has disappeared                                                      ­    While  you  gathered stones to throw                                                     I  was growing on my own                                                              ­          You  were full of foolish pride                                                trying  to  conquer and divide                                                           ­  You  always knew I dealt in truth                                                           and  that's something you can't do                                                           This  is your consequence                                                      ­                     This  is your tower moment

Scared and anxious mother to be                                                               ­feels  all alone and is only eighteen                                                      she loves the child she can't see                                                              ­  it  doesn't matter if it's a he or she                                                             Irresponsible  dad, took off when he heard                                                   won't  be around to hear his child 's first words                                          Birthday  parties he will never attend                                                           ­ He  won't be thought of or mentioned                                                        ­         She prepares with a meager wage                                                        dollar  store trinkets for her precious babe                                                             ­                          She knows love  doesn't cost a thing                                                            ­  and you can't put a price on the joy they bring                                         She  will rise up to every occasion                                                         ­   do  what it takes with no hesitation                                                       ­   Teach  and  show her beloved baby                                                   how  to  be more like her and less like he

You made me so feel desperate                                                        ­                    trying to just hold on                                                               ­                     Then  I became pathetic                                                         ­                    when  I realized you were gone,                                                                  I  had thrown  myself at you                                                                        more  than a time or two                                                                        You  had  ripped my heart into                                                    ­              a  thousand  pieces  of blue                                                             ­                    That was a long time ago                                                              ­            you  hurt me more than you know                                                        but  I've  had time to grow                                                                      pulled  myself out of the lows                                                             ­    Now  things have changed                                                          ­                       I'm happy all over again                                                            ­                           and you're acting so strange                                                          ­                 trying to get me to reengage                                                         ­                  You only want me back                                                     ­                              To  fill the void inside of you                                                                                To make up for what you lack                                                             ­    with  my thousand pieces of blue

Outlined by the bonfire                                                          ­              she danced in the moonlight                                                   Her  eyes  filled  with desire                                                           ­                  the color of pale blue apatite                                       ­                                    She looked right at him                                                              ­         as  he  smiled  up at her                                                              ­                                                                 ­                                                  She  twirled while humming                                                          ­              he  could sense her allure                                                           ­                The  flames cast shadows                                                          ­                        on  the trees and the sand                                                             ­ as  their  laughter echoed                                                           ­             she  reached for his hand                                                             ­               The  stars twinkled brightly                                                         ­              the  air full of romance                                                          ­               as  he  pulled  her in tightly                                                          ­              he  wanted to stay entranced

Wilted  red roses left on the table                                                            ­       their heads  now  bowed  down in shame                                                  once  a symbol we were stable                                                           ­       in  our  love so vain

Depression is similar to a weighted blanket                                                          ­                                   enveloping you as tightly as straight jacket                                                           ­                                                      Restricting your  movements while  holding you close                                                            ­                                            under  the  pretense of comfort while impeding your growth