Real Name 2 0

Real Name 2 0 Jun 5

"So, I woke up"

You're telling me about your day as usual
I wonder if you realize the love you give me

(Did anyone ever tell you if angels could laugh
They'd sound like you)

I let it become me
I let it color me on the inside
The outside

"So, she said"

I wonder if I love the way you love me, will the people who know you
Love you
Will they find you?

(You're asking if I'm listening, but sometimes I just get so lost in the beautiful person that is you)

The small things you say

(I greet like how you greet Did you notice)

The way you laugh

(Sometimes I laugh, and I sound like you)

My skin reflects the sun

(I talk like you sometimes)

You are the sun

(I wonder if the people you love realize)

"Alright, i have some things to do"

(I wonder if you do)
"See you later?"

(Of course)

The love you give me
I let it hold me
It is the paint I use
It is the poems I write
The yellow of your laugh
The golden twinkle in your eyes
The small pieces of yourself that you give to me

(If you ever leave, i might die)

The love you give to me
I carry it
In a basket like a flower girl
I sprinkle it
I wonder if you recognize the parts you left of yourself
The parts that are now me

(Sometimes, I try to imagine what would happen if I hadn't met you)

your love that carries me

(and I honestly couldn't see another future without you in it)
(Maybe because I couldn't bear the thought of it)

I love romantically I've always said
but you my friend your simple love is one to change worlds

Real Name 2 0 Jun 2

There is a fraud, it's name is me

I feel like a fraud
I feel like ive been playing a character
is it myself
This person who I see in the mirror
whats her name
do I know her
or am I trying to remember
shes smiling at me so why are her eyes
why are they so
shes talking its a buzz
maybe shes a bee?
am I pretending to be a bee?
do I know any bees?
she looks sheep
those eyes
maybe shes a goat
why would I pretend to be an animal?
who
am I

Real Name 2 0 Jun 1

My schizophrenic eyes

I swear I'm not waiting here for you to reply like I was 7 moons ago when all I could do was cry because the stars had left the sky to taunt me
Taunt me?
I laugh
The sky doesn't taunt it just is
I sigh
Because i understand
The sky is my taunt
My taunt
The taunt my schizophrenic eyes taught me

Real Name 2 0 Jun 1

I was always selfish I think

Maybe I am selfish just let me be let me hold your hand while it's still warm listen to me listen to me listen to me my stories my tales witness my life let me be selfish by wanting you to see my life
To see my life even when I don't want to see yours

Real Name 2 0 Jun 1

I feel like a fool,your fool

If I had to show you what you did to me , I’d have to open my chest and dip my hands inside
They’d come out stained with the purples and blues of my emotions
Like paint it colours everything inside me
And it layers itself over my rationality, steaming up my ability to think

My heart is like a pomegranate tree, and you just plucked all the fruits
The tree is bare, and all fruits lay scattered around me
They are many to count, so I look at them from the corner of my eye
What do I do with all of them
Do I taste them and let them besmirch my lips
Do I leave them and let them rot

Either way the fruit is bitter
Whether I leave it or taste it the result is the same

It doesn’t hurt when others do it because they’re not as close as u r to my heart
When you move I feel it
And when you leave I feel that too like red string it tugs my heart
And there only so many tugs I can take before I cut the strings myself even though they are veins
I'd rather bleed than let my heart be torn apart

I love like I’m in love
I fall like how I trip
Small details are what capture me
The things you don’t say the things you try to hide
Love is sometimes too soft of a word for the feelings I feel
It’s exactly like حب
Love a seed
And I feel it’s roots
Is that what makes it hurt?

This all that I said is to say I love dramatically, but dw it’s extremely platonic. If I had a husband, I think my love would be borderline obsession, which is why I’d rather die an old maid

Real Name 2 0 Jun 1

My life still remembers you when I dont

I wonder if I write the first of your name my keyboard (my heart) will always assume the rest

Real Name 2 0 May 30

She's not mine to keep

It's not that she's sunlight
She is moon
She shines brightly she's not calm or elegant or anything but there's something soft about her
She is moon
There's craters no one asks about but I see them and I'm too afraid to ask
Does it hurt
Of course it does
Do you remember how you got them
I want to soothe them

She doesn't make me feel whole or complete
She isn't my other half
I don't want to be her other half but I can keep her whole when no one else can
She's not the missing piece and neither am I and maybe that's how it's meant to be
We fill the seats others will take
Just for the ride for now until we find the lost parts of ourselves and we realise
We won't find ourselves with each other but we can warm the seats of the ones who will find us

I love romantically I'm afraid. Because this isn't about a lover. It's about a friend.