Real Name 2 0

Real Name 2 0 Apr 16

I rose up from the ashes but at what cost?

In the end, it was just me
The fire had settled
The world as I knew it had burned
So, I used the ashes to paint my future
I used it to paint my walls
I showed the world
I beckoned with a crooked finger
This is where I came from i say gesturing with a broken hand
But like a museum, it's just to look at it
And I, the owner, the collector of my past's artifacts, rarely visit

Real Name 2 0 Apr 8

She has potential

Don't bet your money on me
I show promise sure
But all the world's a stage
And I am it's greatest actor

Real Name 2 0 Apr 8

She called herself anxiety

My words repeat themselves
They shudder on my tongue
I hold them in my mouth and open to let them out
But all they do is hide like shy children behind their mothers
They settle at the bottom of my throat and set up camp
They build fires and burn my lungs
I feel like a broken car
Sputtering and huffing
And for the first time in a long while
I feel like the teenager I am
And I remember why I left that girl behind

Real Name 2 0 Apr 2

This is my lies

I am a creature strange
I seek help but get confused when they help me
I seek approval but get confused when they approve me
These eyes
They see, but they are dry
This heart
It beats, but silence echoes in its chambers
I pity the one who tries
Have I seduced you with my false pleas?
Shame has sworn himself to me
It begs to show itself one last time
All the time

Real Name 2 0 Apr 1

Earth , let me come home

I want to dig myself a hole
And just lie in it until it stops
Let the comfort of the soil make me grow
Till I sprout
Earth
Let your earthworms work to cultivate
Because I'm coming home
I feel it
I just don't want to be at my hands

"I want to be somebody to someone
I just wanna be someone "
It wraps around my thoughts
Wrapping them in chains
I'm locked in myself
"YOURE the problem "
Am I?

Maybe
If she could just LET me grow...
If she could just LET me breathe...
"But she is you and you is I
We're entwined together forever
You
and I "

Real Name 2 0 Mar 31

Did I do something wrong?

I think I’ll always be the one standing at the edge of the crowd laughing at the jokes people tell without me.

Real Name 2 0 Mar 30

If my family must tell my story they will say I was a monster

If my family must tell my story they will say I was a monster

They will tell tall tales of white white anger

Of how I never listened and pretended I was the master

They will say she was extravagant but hell if you could get her to say so

She lies through her teeth and pretended she was a Saint you know ?

If my family must tell my story they will proclaim what they say is the truth

They'll try their hardest to stain my already ruined reputation and say we're just looking out for you

If I was humble I would never have known for their tales of pride have convinced me

If I was sweet I would never know because they claim if I am it's an anomaly

All this I tell you
Making me look like a desperado
But your family are the ones who know you best too
I really don't have a defense
For if I were here to tell you the lies

I would have said

I am a Saint and my family thinks so too

I am a Saint
I am happy
And my family
My family

If my family were to tell my story they would tell my friends first
The friends I lied to the ones who said how could you be the worst
You're an angel and I'd say Hush
You're making me blush

I wasn't even flattered
I am a monster and my family knows it too

If my family were to tell my story
Listen
They are the ones who know what's true.