today i disappointed everyone i love.
i was quiet when i should’ve smiled,
tired when i should’ve tried,
somewhere else when i was supposed to be here.

i had fun today.
i smiled and meant it.
i laughed and it sung.
but now the day is over
it’s dark once more,
and i hate myself again.

i don’t want to be
alone
i don’t know what i’ll
do

know me.
tell me you love me.
but only when you mean it,
and not because i’m sad.

i hide the cuts
and call it healing.
i smile enough
to look like feeling.

i bled to feel,
then felt too much.
so now i flinch
at even touch.

no big event,
no cry for aid.
just pain, then choice,
then steel, then blade.

the scars are thin,
but memory lingers.
i still see red
between my fingers.

they call it pain,
i call it mine.
i earned the blood,
i crossed the line.