under the light of sirius
and the cascade of cigarette smoke
i wonder how hard it is to start again
to feel the burn over and over
and still continue on
i think about you above me
suspended in air
your long eyelashes and calm disposition
hand on my thigh and other on my neck
i wonder how different it will be
i think of him above me
hand in my hair and the other on my thigh
i think of a worn rope
tense and tight and shaking
the pressure of it all on top of me
around my neck and tangled in my hair and squeezing my thigh
and as the fire climbs its way into the tips of my finger
i am quick to smother the flame