When the scotch be flowin
You know
You be knowin
That you made
The wrong choice.

Caitlin Rose
Caitlin Rose
Why she Caitlins
No one knows.

The cabbie who took me and my ma from hospital to home
Straight away started in with a tale all alone
Out of a clear blue sky
Struck in the head
And then by lightning
Boiled his innards
Popped his bones
Broke his head
Did the damage you might imagine
He was dead for awhile
Met his grandparents and God
They played Snap they were all smiles
Until it was deemed time for him to come back
He's wrote a book called
LIGHTNING MAN
I suggest you read it
It's remarkable
He's just doing whatever he can.

Keep swiggin that *****
Keep smokin them tabs
**** down deep on them viruses
What get released from them labs
Waft them air fresheners
Modify your food
Keep taking them
Sweet sweet pills
What enhance your mood
E numbers Are the tops
Fresh fruit gets a sprey
Some say they've done something
That has turned the frogs gay
Make sure you sit still
Make sure you char your toast
Let's do the cancer enhancer baby
Yeah we dig it the most.

Synonym
Antonym
Contronym
Tiny Tim
That last one's illiteration.
Bread and eggs
And unripe 'nanas
Lead to constipation.

Things clicked on are often not read
Or maybe haf way through
They get abandoned instead
Meter is so personal
It can certainly jar
Stripped of pre-knowledge
And broadcast from afar
so if you get a hundred views
And not a thumb nor a heart
Take comfort in the fact
It's deffo your own fault.

He went looking
But couldn't  find it
Anywhere
The fuel in his tear drop gas tank
Could of took him beyond care
After a realisation
That tear drop explodes
The American dream
Red White and Blew
All over the road.

Rocky was Robert
Clubber was James
But Apollo
Was Apollo
And Apollo
He remains.

I see that big cat food has put out a product recall
it's the modern age
Society will fall
If we allow our pets
To fall into malaise
Of non exposure
Like our peanut disgrace
Once you start down that path
The problem will grow and not shrink
It all written there in the Bible I think
Moses beseeched the lord give my people strength
To cross the dessert and bolster their health
God said cast thy staff down
It turn into a serpent
M took fright
Johviah bade him
Take it by the tail
A staff once again
Took it up
Turned and strode down the hill
Showed the chosen the trick
Then they were all in
For good or for ill.

Your ma described it to me
Like it was sposed to be
The here and now
Me and her
It was meant to be
But then again
I'm not sure the universe
Allows
Random ***** stuff
To me it meant to me
She wanted to get rough.

Will the universe
Select you?
Will it throw you a bone?
Cos not all
constituents
Get chosen
You asked them all
To just leave you alone
To float in the depths
Permafrozen
Is it because of your virtue
Or lottery like?
All notions
Of the righteous
Can get on their bike

Will you swirl
With the other dust
In ecstatic dance
Or dwindle to nowt?
What is the chance?

When you look into
The oft talked about
Black mirror
Depending on the light
Your face seems thinner

Your features sharpen
Your eyes fill in dark
Like a cute super villain
Not one of them that
Lurks in the park.

I give you permission to despair
Wether left or right
Or just hanging there
One can justify the care
It takes
To really cheer.

Dark matter aids with the construction of collectives
While dark energy pushes them apart
Well that's what they reckon
They don't really know
It's the point
Where science becomes art.

The sky is clear tonight
Clearer than for awhile
Reflected off of the **** snow
We haven't seen in some time
There was an conjunction
But I think it's now gone
Like that meteor stream
Came at Chrimbo forlorn
I always miss things
I'm not that astute
But when you
See the sky through
You imagine it's root.

The greatest
Road trip/odd couple/anti-buddy movie there's been
Each line quotable
Like nothing you've ever seen
Just as Butch and Sundance
Were running out of time
Forced transition
Layers on
Laughs
And
Poignancy
Sublime
Two men chipped
And polished
From very different stone
To meet as friends in the next life
As they walk this one alone.

Do you remember
Chorlton and the wheelies?
Through the mist
It comes quite freely
But probably not that accurately
My friend

There was an angry
Welsh Witch
Cruel but unarousing
Like a some Marxist
Maggie Thatcher
On the prowl
But Chorlton was
Neurodivergent
To him it was not urgent
To seek vengeance on blodwyn
To make her howl.
But that only made her worse
To spit bile and curse
Which always led to her downfall



Clearly he won every week

Christmas in prison
Christmas out at sea
Christmas round the in laws
Christmas alone with me

Christmas with the Manson's
Christmas in the I.C.U
Christmas in Carcosa
Just the Yellow King and you

He won't dress as father Chrimbo
In his tattered rags he'll stay
As he eats all time and space
No prezzies he'll display

He won't watch vintage Two Ronnies
As the black stars rise
And in terrible twin sunlight
Your soul will be his prize.

Chistmas in prison
Christmas out at sea
Christmas round the in laws
Christmas alone with me

Christmas at the wainwrights
Christmas in the I.C.U
Christmas in Carcosa
Just the yellow king and you

He won't dress as Father Chrimbo
In his tattered robes he'll stay
As he eats all time and space
No prezzies he'll display

He won't watch vintage two ronnies
As the black stars rise
And in terrible twin sunlight
Your soul will be his prize.

Is that a **** or ***** stain on my carpet?
I really can not tell
I've got no idea how it got there
I'm not feeling very well.

I keep strange hours
Neither late nor early
It's not my fault
Time's gone curly.

The Pythons
Refused to mock Jesus
His words
Inescapably decent
And true
Just the malaise
That followed with him
It'd happened before
Made anew

All the pro
And the anti

Every sycophant
And cynic
Accrued
Before the lacking
Made it all cliche
Before the naysayers
Shouted abuse

The golde rule
Of love over hate
Should surely have never been up for debate
Poorly copied by charlatans
As ****** berate
Just like they did to Elvis
After 68.

Norm McDonald's moth
Dave Allen's clock
There's some comedy bits
That are just off the hook
Mitch Hedberg's rice
Bill hick's wax dart
Norm again with
Janice in the woods
It's an art
To encapsulate
Pathos bathos
And litotes
Like that
with
Absurdism bubbling
It's an Hell o an act.

All life a negotiation
From the global to the quanta
The placing o the terrible weapons
To the sub atomic particles
When you start in with a new love
You see where the borders are
What starts a screaming match
What brings peace and calm
How loud you crank your stereo
Versus the upstairs flats grandkids
Running round like micro elephants
All weekend long it appears
Dealing with your aresehole boss
A mismatch so it seems
But like any martial art
Styles make fights
And into the Fray you lean
Tense talk at the UN
Twixst The monolithic blocs
Brinkmanship an art
Best practised in the dark
The Arabs and the Jews
The Catholics and the prods
The Ruskies and Ukrainians
The living and the not
It's in the way you talk to strangers
It's in the way you part your hair
It's what it says on your baseball cap
It's in where you place your care
As we look to the sea's horizon
At the swelling biblical wave
Can I look you in the eye
And argue in good faith?

I see Andy Kaufman has finally admitted he's not dead.

Great
Holy
Easter
Bright
The week that unlocks the door to the light
In the six weeks since the pancakes and the ashes
Selected abstinence
To the Lord brings a confluence
A coming together of saviour and saved
Through the shared experience
Of gratification delayed
While he starved in the desert
Tempted by pure evil for forty days
We gave up chocolate
That's how the lord we did praise.

When miserable ***** turn up
They do so in big trucks
Cos they like to travel en masse
To block the light
They won't let it past
But their convoys aren't that long
They believe they are
But they don't throng
And round a curving mountain pass
A serpent turns to eat it's ****.

America passes
Mother's Day
Just over
A month after
But we
Celebrate the dads
On the
Same day
Without laughter
Allowing
For the worlds turn
Against
All
Disaster
The
Weird
Thing
Is
The
Mas
Are
Still
*******
Plastered.

People talk of
Comparing apples to oranges
Like its some pointless exercise
But Apples are boss
And oranges ****
I wouldn't tell you any lies.

Yer qwerty keyboard
Was arranged
Cos of the mechanical nature
And the way fingers catch
But its not the most efficient
Now that everything is flat
But they haven't changed it
Cos the benefits are minimal
Compared to reconstitution
And all of that retraining
Liminal.

They could stymie
All Hip Hoppers
Dittyists
And poets
By banning the word LIKE
You can still make comparisons
You just can't ride on that bike.

Them that score goals
Don't generally
Write songs
And if they do it's
Not often that great
And have you seen them songwriters
Upon the sacred field?
They at least
A couple o seconds
Too late.

Was Alexander  really that great?
Or was everyone else a bit ****?

I don't think AI
Is as good as they say it is yet
Or it would have deciphered
All those uncracked alphabets
Or writing systems
Or codes
Or whatever you call them
Cross reading data
Dragged from
A far cast
mellenium
Every possible notion
Gets feed through the mill
Processed
Deconstructed
Then done again
until
An answer pops out
Not known since that time
And it still won't jive
With our reason and rhyme.

What's gotten into yer
What is it that blows you away?
You had it so straight in your head as well
The family were there
Ears cupped
Filled with care
Determined to get your back pay
Industrial accident
Your ******* in traction
The boss man keeps
Laughing all day

Are you the author of your own thoughts?


Of course I am I retort


Are you sure they don't come from somewhere else?


Your seriously messing with my mental health


Why would that be I'm just asking questions?


Your saying my essence comes from another dimension


No I'm not I just really want to know
From which is the point from where ourselves grow.

Have you ever been po faced?
I know I have
When presented with ****
From the front or the back
And then realised
You have got your
Nose
To
Close to your
****.

With faith in our souls
We skip toward the light
Singing blithley together
Songs of truth and joy
And *****

To left stand the illiberal
To the right the funny men
Both will badger
And deride you
Herd you to their
Favoured pen

And them that have no eyes
Will ask why you seem so shook
And you will have to explain yourself
To a dog shown a card trick look.

If I keep eating
Pies pasties and puddings
Would gravity's weak force
Be countermanded
So I could slip these
Surly bonds?

Digging through my CDs
I keep finding
Two copies of the same album
Then I remember
Ah ****.

You tell your boss to
Swivel *****!
I will tell mine
To stick my job up his ****
We could even synchronise it
Record it
Editise it
Turn that *******
Into art
You can sell your mothers house
And I can sell my grandmas flat
Cash in all pensions and ****
And that will be the end of that.
Then move to Bolivia
I hear they make
Excellent crack.

Ozzy's not quite the prince o darkness anymore
No more coke no more ******
The road miles and habits
Have piled on the damage
Hardly surprising
The man was a savage
His lower colon
Is now like liquidised spam
Sharon has to deal with
The diarrhea of a madman.

Crazy Vinny don't like you describing what's at his back
But In front or behind him
jokes about mothers please do not Crack
The man has his own code
and despite what ****** allude
My mate crazy Vinny
Is neither ignorant nor rude.

I'll meet you
In the Rothko Chapel
We'll get a private view
I know some people
It'll be no hassle

Fourteen
Big canvas
In various black
We could stay there all week
We might never come back

Or as long as we can't take it
Raw emotion

Mostly dark

Go out through the emergency exit
Into the
Surrounding
Sunlit
Verdant
Park.

A recently viewed headline
It made  you giggle
But imagine
If it went down the line
By Grand Moth Tarkin
He felt undermined.

How dauft it work
That thing that thou dauft ****
Then thou dauft freely shirk
O nonny nonny
Counter truth dauft rise
Between thou ma's thighs
Dauft brings the compromise
O nonny nonny.

He talks of military intelligence
Two words together
That don't make sense
And the saleability
Of peace
This is the news
There is no relief
The freak show
That lives inside our heads
Soon comes the day
When we wake up dead.

Love is the waiting room
They give you something to do
You don't have to complete it though
That onus is on you

Love's the chastisement
They give you a talking-to
Demand you mull
And weigh yourself
Well BOO HOO HOO HOO

Change your name
And I'll give you the world
Relax your neck
And let Rewards unfurl
It's just a name
Don't be so absurd
But david he said no.

When the twist of the evening
Has twirled out of sight
Through the fog
The afterglow of fever
Felt all night
And on through the day
You still can't sleep
Take 12 pirinase
And you'll soon be on your way.

I heard the video
Talk about
Deep Gravitational wells
It was a phrase
By which
I was
Deeply compelled
To imagine
Myself
At
The
Bottom
Of
It
And
Never
Again
To