Things clicked on are often not read
Or maybe haf way through
They get abandoned instead
Meter is so personal
It can certainly jar
Stripped of pre-knowledge
And broadcast from afar
so if you get a hundred views
And not a thumb nor a heart
Take comfort in the fact
It's deffo your own fault.

How do you know what you are?
The opinions stretch both near and far
They be *******
Swinging off of your ****
Both near and Far
It's just hard to know
What you are.

The boy stood on the burning deck
He'd never seen the like
His vintage radio refused to work
Because of melted Bakelite.

There's always bin the idea
O two sets o books
Ever since books were invented
A curious process in which we all are involved
It's what keeps us from going demented

One set the truth
That unravels unheeded unseen perhaps
By those around who look on
The other your truth
Somewhat tailored but blurred
Of what you thought
You'd become

Cos the moral compass has no external dial
To ink on your page no one listens
So You can write down the details
However you like
Talk about a double entry system.

That dog that climbed to the top o the great pyramid
Had more than a touch o the jackel
Panting ,looking down ,481 feet off the ground
People aghast at how it could happen

He's a dog! I opine
So just keep in mind
That's what some brave doggies do
He's not got our fear
He just wants to bound clear
O the earth
And our human to-do

There's ancient peace up there
He projects back through the years
To be with his full blooded ancestors
Stood at once near the peak
***** his leg for a leak
At ease with his familial protectors.

Where'd you get them spex?
Where'd you get them kecks?
Jesus lid yer clobbers off the chart!
And frocks for lady muck
Of prezzies there's a glut
The fences laughing
Play their part
But you've murdered trust so early
Gone so ******* Tory
Turning self obession into art.

You kiss em
You rub em
You **** em
You put your mouth on em
Or something.

All hail the Toblerone
King of the awkward chocolates
If you buy a big one on a plane
It'll drain all of your pockets
Of residual dollars or euros
Bhatt **** or lek
Or **** it!
Why not dash off
Your last travellers cheque

Honeyed almond sweetness
Who could decry that
Only the honeyed almond intolerant
And you can never trust them *****
Just it's satisfying chunkiness
It's heft and it shape
Is something deeply pleasing
The chocolate biscuit it doth take

It's true name lost to time
It should be Tobler one
For its creator was named Tobler
And he'd only just begun.

But there he stopped.

I'm like John winston
On the brandy alexanders
Your gonna have to deal with me
This nitrogen it seems
Puts such pressure on my eyeballs
That I can hardly see
So l plummet on down past where I should
Just to stare blindly in the sea
Sudden earhquake
Massive landslide
And that
Is the end o me.

Sparhawk threw an SG at me
At least that is
In my memory
He took a couple o turns
Before the release
Like some hammer thrower
Afire like a beast
The road crew
All lost they ****
They could not believe
The fire he'd lit
But no one got hurt
At least that I know
They came back
Twice more to ******
The show.

We saw swans on the beacons that beckon
Each of us high as six kites
Eighteen combined
That's what I reckon
As we stared into they harsh light

Fresh off the Ferris wheel
Opposite the big top
We wobbled through the sparse crowd
Through feedback demonic
And swirling black smoke
Walked into
The kingdom o loud

As the drums fell off of Everest
And the bass came up from hell
I knew I couldn't be there
Yet to stay I was compelled

Rooted to the earth
Speared through both feet
By sonic ******* tent pegs
From which there was no relief

Almost three hours later
Battered and near haf deaf
Good lord I thought
For these *******
They need to invent
An extra clef.

I haven't seen a fox for a bit
They used to strut round here
Cos it fit
They ritual run through
On where they where goin
Route to the food
And so to they ruin

On polystyrene and MSG
They gene pool be knowing
It's not the best in terms
Of the growing
O size of they skulk
Maybe that's why I don't see em that much
Represented on the BBC

You had it all right in your mind
It'd bin bouncing round there awhile
You couldnt say it to or at anyone at the time
Cos by the ale you was somewhat beguiled

The quips you remember
The laughs that you got
The chances not taken
Not taken a lot

The cold wind you remember
On a beach so remote
Smashed any chance
Of getting my vote
On my selective
Amnesia

Just hang on a minute
While I choose to emote
The thing that foments us
Ain't the thing what makes us vote.

Your average life will last 72 years
864 months of blood sweat and tears

That complete existence
Will move but one degree
Just 359 more
Then the cycle is complete

Equinoctial precession
Wobbles ever on
Unending celestial journey
Drags us all along

From pole star to pole star
Each house has its time in the sun
12 times over 2000 years
Aquarius about to become
The one that hovers over
Up above our heads for life
Recording the worlds horrors
Its beauty and its strife

As we wave goodbye to Pisces
And turn with renewed care
We know our 3 score and 12
Is just a day
In the Great Year.




25,920 years is the length o the track
So stand here ******* long enough
you'll catch yourself coming back.

When the cab swerves
Between Judaism and Romanesque
That turn is on top
It could deffo get you wrecked

Just past the Rialto
If your cabbie ain't sharp enough
It could all go castrallto
***** ground into dust


But thank Christ that don't occur that much
You get home safe most days
The oversteer compensated
He straightens up For the front page
That could have happened
The day after the next
About some seatbelt deniers
Who ended up in a hedge
The latest o the dyers.

How many electricians does it take
To change a lightbulb?

Was the last action
To fill from the bottom
To the haf way point
Or to drain from the top to the same?
There's your answer mate.

Evil is an ocean in which we float
And from that we drink
It's buoyancy uplifts up
It's salt makes us sick

It's waves push us
In all the ways we go
The currents aggregate
The humans on the flow
To islands o detritus
Perched around the world
All cliffs o which face the sun
Although that sounds absurd
The shitness o this verse
The mewling o the heart
All the above can be said
About love and art.

I went to work one Sunday morn
Overtime bound
My demeanour was still drunken
My eyes cast to the ground
I trod my way down slater st
On full auto pilot
My guts all away
The puking might be violent
I passed a dropped kebab
Perfect and untouched
Thought/loook at that,you don't see that much/
Then strode a few paces more
And scarse believed my eyes
A host o filthy pigeons
Manically alive
In a ghastly circle
They dived and pecked with glee
At a pool of human *****
To an alarming degree
I stopped and looked back
At the dropped kebab
What do they know
That we don't
What is it we lack?

The depths o distain
Where you hold yourself
The heights o attain
Where you shoot yourself
The heart o the Brain
Where you make yourself
But the love you distain
That's where you
**** yourself.

Chastened prince who once refused the crown
Although the people knew he ruled
Scintillated in a tall place
Somehow less crude
Than he used to be
Made no odds really
On the vital tunes
All allusion fell away
As excellence accrued
Frozen in the presence of the rare
It felt rude to be
Outside o the self.

If Cohen's accountant hadn't ripped him off
I probably wouldn't have got to see him.
Here's to fraudulent fucksticks!
Cheers!

I boiled three eggs the other day
But only eat two
Waited for the third to cool
Then put him in the fridge
As future fuel

Left him there maybe three days
Cos I'd switched from protein
Then noticed he'd started to crack
Good lord!
I thought
This one is a survivor!

"This guy asked me if I wanted a frozen banana,I said no,but I wanted a regular banana later on,so I said yes."

I always thought
You could redo Pesci's" Funny how?"scene
In Goodfellas as one about poetic effectiveness

"What the **** is narratively compellingly about me?"
That type o thing
Give it a go. X.

"I like rice,it's great when you're hungry and you want two thousand of something."

Gone but not forgotten.

**** emery the feral cat
Used to rule the roost and tha'
With evil mind and solid *****
He'd freely enter into your halls

You'd have to throw him down the cellar
That psychopathic  little fella

Then don your anti cat armour
With hallucinogenic bacon
You'll cool his ardour

Then he'd sleep the sleep o the just
Slowly synthesising his potent musk
Then come around feeling sharp
Waiting Crouching in the dark.

No one ***** with **** emery!!!

"An escalator can never brake,it can only become stairs."

God rest his drug addled soul.

Some disagree with the timeline
Say the Romans didn't go for big blocks
That it don't jive with their efficiency
Always against the clock

Some claim it was Alexander
About three hundred years before
Some even say its impossibly ancient
Posit lost civilisations galore

These shouts are fantastic by nature
Fly in the face o evidence compiled
By generations of strident experts
Disputed by casual tourists
Modern lazy thinking defined

Their points are stretched and wooly
Methodology sketchy at best
The work has been done
They're just having fun
These dolts
The paladins detest

It cannot be true
History has been proved
by research constant and heavy
That's correct I suppose
But Lord heaven knows
thats what they said bout Gobekli Tepe.

The three heaviest stones ever hewn and then placed
Rest in Jupiter Baal
27 years before Christ was born
By the the Romans
Long before their fall

Each close to 800 tons
Hoisted 30 foot in the air
And fitted so tight
You can't tell em apart
Put together with unfathomable care

But the quarry they're cut from
Not a mile away
Holds wonders even more vast
Three monoliths with a joint weight
O  4000 tons
Sit waiting  forlorn on the grass

The pregnant
The forgotten
The southern
Carved but never  transported
Will idle the ages
In dour unemployment
Their installation
Never reported.

What goes up must come down
Except Elon's space car
It's infinity bound
Is that true?
If it keeps on going?
Chances of collision
Beyond our knowing
The fence of the cosmos
We cannot see
It will not be revealed  to thee

Unleast not yet

The boffins say never
So we wait in ignorance
Always together.

Was Alexander  really that great?
Or was everyone else a bit ****?

Once you hit a certain age
All your memories are ten years ago
Unless childhood or immediate
It's a decade Past
Give or take a year or so

Dilation and concentration of remembrance
Both stretched and contracted
Twenty years turns to ten
Five does the same
True chronology
Can't be extracted

I remember you now
How you were back then
As I just bumped into your sister
She says that you're well
I should give you a call
Time bubbles
And turns into a blister.

These ******* aren't fooling me,
I'm gonna start calling Marathons Snickers!

121 years twixt the Montgolfiers and the Wrights
Then only 42  more
To Hiroshima
Going on that timeline
We should all be vaporised
So our demise must be less obvious

PETA say don't kick a robot
You can see where this is going of course
Transhumanism can't be delayed
It's what we about
It's what we do
its written in our DNA

What's the difference/distance
From an artificial hip
To a neural link chip
I shake my bonce
As you scoff
I hear Leonardo
As he Scratches his head
"What is this vision?
Alexa,off!?"

We're like a big tuna casserole
That's been remicrowaved
One too many times.

As those angels gently laid you back
Speaking sweetly as you went
A rivulet o crimson
Was the sign that you were spent
I stood at your beds foot
Too overwhelmed to cry
A refusal to believe
A rejection of this lie

A fast three months that felt like six
A switchback through the gloamin
And all the time
We knew of course
The reaper was a roamin
Winding low
Checking his form
By the light of his terrible lamp
Waiting to bring down
His final ghastly stamp

So I'll think of you often
And I'll send love with this
On September the 19th
About a quarter past six.

Lobbing grenades
Off of the summit o Everest
Trying to bomb the *******
Just Like Kenny Everett
But the fuse is too short
They just burst in the air
He  don't live at the peak
He's somewhere down there

Milney has been planning
This Trek for years
Like some frozen Ahab
Blind to the cares
Of family and friends
Who deny his obsession
Deeply frightened by his souls possession

He teamed up
With a crack squad
Of hard Buddhist monks
Who will joyfully participate
In killing the ****
For centuries now he has murdered their kin
They will end  what the beast did begin

For these priests know how to swing a sword
You might have seen them treading the boards
At you local theatre
But this is real
They will end this monster
And his skin they will peel
Off of his bones
And his carcass they'll stuff
To display at the inn
So we'll know soon enough
If milne was successful
All ****** and sweaty
As he asks at the bar
ARE YOU OPEN YETI?

In killarney and Tralee
It was made quite plain to me
That the blood of the land
Flows through every gland

I don't  think you understand
The power that flows through your hands
So put on your gauntlets
And sit on your paws
Before you way laste
To this land.

Are you the author of your own thoughts?


Of course I am I retort


Are you sure they don't come from somewhere else?


Your seriously messing with my mental health


Why would that be I'm just asking questions?


Your saying my essence comes from another dimension


No I'm not I just really want to know
From which is the point from where ourselves grow.

Will you sing at my funeral
Will you dance at my wedding
Laugh at my jokes
Always pretending
That the past isn't coming
The future descending
Down to a place
That starts at our ending
We'll always be here
And at every point too
If time's a flat circle
I want to spend it with you.

Things fall off
Cos things get loose
I've lost my screwdriver
I know that's no excuse
You can feel the vibration
Before you hear the sound
Once the bolt hits the floor it can never be found.
Rattling
Shattering
You stupid *******.

It's that day today
When evil mystery waits to strike
And nothing happens.

Laughter is involuntary
A knee **** so they say
Nexus to and exit from
The darkness
Way hey hey

What are you laughing at?
I don't find that funny
I am appalled
And your in stitches
To me that makes you scummy

Giggling or not at the horror
Wether Death,disease or blight
is something instantaneous
Neither wrong or right
Then weigh and mull it later
At your leisure through the night

We've got the Greeks
To thank for that
Formulating our condition
To laugh or frown
Or roll your eyes
Is not your own decision.

The boy stood on the burning deck
His legs were all a-quiver
He gave a cough
His leg fell off
And floated down the river.




Saturday night 70's telly.

The moai faced inland
Away from the sea
Ghosts of dead leaders
Born from deities you see

Hewn from volcanic tuff
Soft no doubt
Compared to basalt or diorite
Which Are ******* to dig out

If they had only turned the other way
They might have seen disaster coming
Dutch killers on Easter morn
Peruvian slavers
Had them running

But it is a small island
And there was no tree cover
They cut them down so long ago
So they could grow some tucker

European disease
South American ******
Cut the population down low
As a couple o hundred years rolled by
And crops refused to grow

So the god's where cast down
Face down on the ground
Venerated protectors brought low
The people despaired
Beyond all hope and care
A paradise with no seeds to sow

Then the pickings were slim
Raiders had no one to ****
So they left them alone to their plight
But the moai are back on their feet now
Resurrected
As a world heritage site.

Ten years ago today
Jimmy and Sandra
Celebrated their
49th anniversary
They never got a 50th
Eight days later
Jimmy shuffled off
Sandra missed him going by ten minutes
It creases me still.

Cast thy bread upon the waters
And It will be returned ten fold
But what are you supposed to do
With ten soggy loaves?

I'm told I didn't cry when I was born
The midwife had to give me a whack
While both ****** and Stalin
Screamed the house down
I hope there's something in that.

Early
Mid
Late
Never.