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 Feb 17 Jill
Vianne Lior
I make them smile,
not for ease,
nor for the brief bloom of laughter—
but because the world is a weight,
and lightness must be carved
by hands willing to bear the chisel.

I have seen sorrow move like a tide,
dragging its wreckage ashore,
leaving eyes hollow, shoulders bent,
hearts shaped like doors
that open to emptiness.

I have watched the weary—
not dying, but unlit,
not grieving, but undone—
souls curled inward like autumn leaves
that never learned the grace of falling.

So I place joy like a candle
in the cavern of the ribcage,
let it flicker against damp walls of doubt,
let it whisper—however briefly—
that there is still warmth, still wonder,
still a reason to lift the chin
toward the sky and call it home.

A smile is not salvation,
but it is rebellion—
against the hush of despair,
against time’s indifference,
against the notion
that we are meant to suffer in silence.

Let them call me foolish—
say laughter is fleeting,
that joy is a trick of the light.
I will still shape it, scatter it,
send it forth like a dandelion seed
that does not care
where the wind takes it—
only that it was given,
only that it was free.
 Feb 17 Jill
Vianne Lior
The door yawns open—
its hinges groan like old bones.
Dust blooms in the light,
a ghost of every footstep
that once passed through.

The walls inhale,
exhaling the scent of old wood,
something sour, something lost.
Wallpaper peels like dead skin,
exposing the raw ribs of the house.

In the kitchen, the table waits,
a chair slightly askew—
as if someone had just left,
as if they might return.

A single cup, cracked,
lingers in the sink,
stained with ghosts of coffee,
lips that once pressed its rim.

The stairs creak beneath my weight—
not in protest,
but in recognition.
They know me.
They remember.

Upstairs, the air thickens,
choked with the weight of silence.
A door stands half-open,
swollen with time,
holding its echoes close.

The bed is made,
but the sheets lie stiff with dust.
A shirt drapes over the chair,
sleeves limp, reaching—
but for no one.

I reach out, fingers grazing glass—
a shadow stirs in the corner of my eye,
but when I turn, nothing waits for me.
Only absence.
Only the house, patient, watching.

I swallow,
but the house does not.
It keeps everything.
It keeps them.

I turn to leave—
but the walls hold their breath.
They know.
I will come back.

I always do.

 Feb 17 Jill
Vianne Lior
The body remembers what the mind buries.
A hand raised too quickly,
And my bones brace for impact.
A voice too sharp,
And my lungs forget how to breathe.
The past is not behind me.
It lives in the way my body flinches
At things that aren’t there.
 Feb 17 Jill
Vianne Lior
The past is a crime scene.
Your mind, the only witness.
But every time you return,
the bloodstains have moved,
the body is missing,
and the killer looks like you.

guilt is a master forger
 Feb 17 Jill
Bardo
Since my cat died I've been feeding the birds
The small birds, the robins, wagtails, sparrows, blue ****
I've even been feeding the crows
But I kind of drew the line with the magpies
They always had a bad rep for stealing things
One day though it was very cold and frosty out
And there was this poor magpie in the garden
And he looked so sad and forlorn
I felt sorry for the poor divil so threw him out a piece of bread
Well the very next day he lands on my windowsill (now I assume it's the same bird)
And he has something shiny in his beak
And he drops it on the windowsill
It's a ring! A Fancy Ring!!!
It's like he's saying "Thank You" for the bread.

So now... now I'm training up a whole squadron of magpies.
A bit of a fantasy this.
 Feb 17 Jill
Soulless
stars
 Feb 17 Jill
Soulless
With you, I would rest—
an open grave, full of blooms,
gazing at the stars.
 Feb 17 Jill
Soulless
Waving the white flag now

You've finally knocked me down

Too tired to stand up now

You're the king of the hill again

Whatever happened to being my friend

Locking my heart away and

Watching as the weather changes

Hope you can be happy now

I surrender
 Feb 17 Jill
Soulless
with me
 Feb 17 Jill
Soulless
I took a chance

Told you I was not perfect

And yet you love me

I told you my hopes and my fears

Scars and insecurities

But you still stayed here

I want your hand in mine til the end of time

And I heard Queer Time works differently..

Wonder if you'll ever marry me?
Queer time represents an asynchronous temporality, where aging and experience don't align with normative expectations.
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