I’m still new to this world.
I’m only ten.
Yet I’ve already felt this
Coldness the world has to offer.

I was born days before spring.
Maybe that’s why my
Heart seems to freeze sometimes.
There’s also the kids at school,
Who look right through me and
Whisper about me at the same time.

And there’s my dad.
Could You tell him to be nicer?
I know it could be worse but
Holes in walls and red backsides
Keep my sisters and I up at night.

Does it get much harder than this?
Does the world get any colder?
My mom’s eyes and my teacher’s warm hands
Give me hope.
Hope that spring will come again and again.
Hope that You’ll protect me from the cold.

I grind my teeth the whole way to your house.
You tell me to park in the alley.
When you open the door,
You rush me in so no one sees.
How romantic.

You’re so ******* selfish.
I bet you look in the mirror when you *******.
You might be the worst
Person I’ve ever met.
I think you’d
Slash my throat if
You could get away with it.

Oh, that feels so good
(It doesn’t but you don’t actually care).
“Keep going, daddy”
Or
“Yes, sir.”
It’s all the same.
I’ll be what you need me to be.

As you grind on me,
Your face changes.
Your body morphs.
You’re younger,
You’re older.
You’re bigger,
You’re smaller.
You’re a stranger.
You’re my ex.
You’re me.
You explode.

…

I put my pants back on,
You didn’t even bother taking
Off my shirt.
I walk through
Your haunted house
To the back door.

You say we should do this again,
But you’ll have me blocked
Before I even leave the alley.
I’ll delete the app that’s
Ruining my life,
But I’ll be back.
I’ll end up in another
Doorway that looks like yours.

The car door closes.
I scream.
I punch and scrape and
Pull my hair
Harder than you did.
God, get your **** together.

I drive in silence,
My teeth aching the
Whole way home.