David Plantinga

David Plantinga 1d

Jolts

City buses bounce and jolt
As though to loosen every bolt.
The shocks must be missing,
A leak would be hissing.
Or is it the potholes at fault?

#bouncing #public #transit #city #buses #humor #limerick

David Plantinga Mar 26

Bread Tub

Because plates are little and shallow
A buffet should provide a fellow
A bus tub instead,
One made out of bread,
With compartments for gravy and yellow.

In connecting buffets with a dish simply called “yellow” I’m drawing from National Lampoon’s Vegas Vacation.

#gluttony #buffets #bread #bowls #limerick #humor

David Plantinga Feb 25

Slippery China

This heirloom china wants to slip
Out of my tremulous grip.
But plastic’s less heavy,
And nicely holds gravy.
It bounces if ever you trip.

Another limerick about heavy dinnerware

#fine #china #dinnerware #accidents #clumsiness #limerick

David Plantinga Feb 19

Smashing Platters

Because light and durable dinnerware
Is low-class and not debonair,
The china that shatters,
Those slippery platters,
Enliven dining with a jump-scare.

I still remember my grandmother's heavy gold-rimmed china.

#dinnerware #fine #china #accidents #clumsiness #limerick #humor

David Plantinga Feb 5

Caltrops

Because a losing player tosses
Monopoly boards and their houses
Sharp corners await
Mom in her bare feet.
The agony one board-game causes!

I promise this is the last limerick about Monopoly, at least for a while.

#monopoly #board #games #frustration #limerick #humor

David Plantinga Jan 24

Board Game Frustration

Hasbro makes a Monopoly game
Durable because sometimes we blame
The board for our troubles.
We never roll doubles!
So flip the whole board. This is lame!

The game of Monopoly was designed to be frustrating. It's an indictment of capitalism.

#board #games #monopoly #frustration #limerick #humor

David Plantinga Jan 9

Monopoly *******

It’s fun to collect money for passing
Go but ahead hotels are massing.
Competitors bought
The railroads. You’re caught!
You can’t outrun landlords by racing.

#monopoly #board #games #frustration #limerick #humor