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stillhuman Jun 2021
I'm a bit delusional
but i guess we all are

like how we shut the door
to stop thinking of death and the end

just to pretend for one more second
we can outlive it.
Yep, I'm in that mood
stillhuman May 2021
Stranger in the night
come on, i will bite
now, what is on your mind
as our destinies intertwined
caused us both
to need someone to confide
the worst thought on our minds
tonight

At almost 2 a.m time
we both need to remind
ourselves of the imperfection
of humankind
and I really wouldn't mind
a hand to be kind
and a shared glass of wine
to blurt out
all those slimy thoughts
that won't leave

And for less than that
I would listen and chat
acceting your words spat
out to relieve the constant combat
going on in your head

So, drink up with
you stranger in the night
and if the wine doesn't help
I think talking just might
I feel some sort of companionship when I find someone awake at 2 am
stillhuman May 2021
I have never seen darkness
like yours
So palpable
Menacing
Terrorizing me
hauling my choice
to ever forgive it

It felt like a knife
inches away
breathing on my neck
cold like the dead
that never said goodbye

I had to fight it
stand rightous to its madness
keep it contained
like blood spilling
from my hands cupped
trying so hard
to just
save it

And I won
or i thought i did
but the darkness remained
still kept me hostage
behind your back
you didn't notice
you didn't see it
the bruise from impact
the apathy covering
hiding sheltering
the obnoxious selfish heaving
of my trapped naked self
shivering
enveloped by darkness
The one that almost took your life
The one that ruined our night
that still holds me tight
as i try to survive
and it was never your fault, it never was
stillhuman May 2021
I find that I can't
just erase nor scratch off
all my feelings
for You
You're engraved in my head
stillhuman May 2021
Perfect creature
shining sky eyes
of fulfilling life a teacher
of the sweetest smiles
that taste like cherry

Forever held in that moment
like a Goddess
with my feelings growing
even more for every promise

and your arms closed around me
as you teach me how to dance
and for your beauty has no end
i bow down to your every glance

sand flows down from your head
in curls and sways that pool on your bed
where we laid in friendship as we promised 'cause my heart was on fire but you didn't notice

your smooth ivory fingers
would comb through my hair
and your touch still lingers
but to reciprocate i didn't dare

I was fine with just your eyes
though I shied from them all the time,
your love afterall couldn't possibly be mine
all my time wasn't worth a dime

And I miss your warmth and tears
I miss your smile and your fears
And now I think if we'de been here
we would have stayed a hundred years
Is it pride month yet?
stillhuman May 2021
i don't quite understand
if i miss who you are
or who i am when i'm with you
I don't understand how you can eradicate all fear from my being when we're together
stillhuman May 2021
Thirty days and thirty nights
i spent in agony
panicking
suffocating
this pain isn't unfamiliar
with its sharpness
and nauseating consistency
i pray in fear to my higher self
to be stronger this time
but my hands are shaking
and i receive no answers
No one else gives you courage
gives you strength
like you can do
No one else can give you change
to make it easier for you
Only you
Only me
Take a step forward
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