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exactly
just like that
spot on

it was a spark
awaiting ignition
to blaze a flame

it was all out rebellion
strikes of interdiction
streaked across the nation

kesey, el chapo, canucks
a veritable shark tank
this northern continent
land of social deterioration
and the pendulum swings
swings to a stop
and the clock turns, still
but the batteries are out
but the clock turns still
In such immaculate conceptions
As science & philosophy,
In broader & more beautiful innovations.
I who first breathed in, creation;
Thought.
The first blessed by electric.
so scared of losing you
but i just want you to leave
would never walk away
but it runs through my head
everyday
cause boyfriends say
how terrible she is
and she can't help but believe
and feed into
all the little lies
******* spun
the twine is pain
the loom is avoidance
and you wear each article with a smile
it hurts to see
"are you okay, you look like you're going to cry"
yes, yes, i'm fine
why, am i red?
i'm okay i swear
i can breathe
i'm aware
i'm getting choked up
frogs in my throat
it's nothing
don't cry
don't cry
till you get home
High above the valley
Nestled amongst the trees;
There's a memory,
There's a memory.

Shining down from the peaks
In the afterglow of the moon;
There's a memory,
There's a memory.

From the bough an echo whispers
Like the song the swallow sings;
There's a memory,
There's a memory.

On bright & sunny days
I grieve the hardest then;
There's a memory,
There's a memory.

Happy memories
To the dearly departed
you know ugly crying? you make me ugly smile, no joke. the grin that sprawls across my face when we talk is atrocious
and i can't hold conversation over the phone anymore
i guess because i'm going crazy
storm clouds are raging
all around my door
if you gotta go, coasting
drift man
It is not the church
In your local town
That I speak of
In tones reminiscent of hate
It is not those in the pews
My friends, my family.
It's the mega churches
The great mosques and temples
The captured Vatican
The misguided Judea
The estranged Muslims
Who breed religions of hate
Of divisiveness for its own sake
Room it leaves
To take power, and secure control
By the most vile actors
Those who wear a kind face like a mask
The fake walk admist us
Have faith, abandon religion
But never God
**** your bias, with what will is bestowed
Tender your strength for
Hard times are to come
The faults of weak men
Who could not stomach one another
For even space is occupied,
There is both foreground & background.
That which is visible
And that which is elusive.

Like vapor from water forming clouds.
Like gaseous vents expelling
What can not be seen, but felt.

All is & all is connected.
when you make learning the goal
the world opens up
into a fantastic phase
of color and light

light's not quite the weight though
and color bleeds through
cause they don't pay the rent
they don't keep the gas

so a lot of us close the books
putting the pen down
with faux intent to one day, pick it back up
but that day's never coming

the years, they draw in on you
and responsibility bears down on you
the person you thought you'd become
is replaced with the one you did

but you can always make a change
no spine?
that's what replays
through your mind?
let me give you
more ammo
for sleepless nights
anyone can see through you
when you walk around
and act dead
wake the **** up
nothing is working out for me!
oh-uh, yea, i guess i did spend
all my money
i know the radiator is broke
but look! corset, boots, smoke
at least i can pretend
everything is okay
even if no one believes me
even if everything is falling
apart
still wanna blow your back out
make you shake
eat it all up
holler my name
grab my hair
ride my face
pull my hips
choke you out
and throw it in the air
hear you shout
Should have known,
The only one, trying for years.
That giving all of myself
To someone who is empty
Will only render me,
Similarly.
i recall, you used to tell
i guess it was a fall, and man i fell
wish it hadn't just been reciprocity
love was what i felt
love gave birth to an atrocity
with how we let ourselves act
it's left it's welts
my ego and pride
cracked with a belt
the scarlet letter of your heart
was the wavering in your voice
i should've been better to you
regret abundant
in my most every choice
she's who i'm with
so why do i want another
is it her hips, and their width
or is she just the better lover
her mind is like ******
and she's cooler than freon
i'm a sucker
wish i could wade
your sea of sorrow
offer relief
from the rain of pain
present each day
the only promise
of the morrow

how i'd bleed for you
only cut me dear
so it's something
you're used to
these dead ends
burn them down
like the bridges
and begin again

darlin
i can't recall
was it a rise
or did we fall

stuck your stinger
deep into me
crippled and
shaking

frothing at the mouth
hyperventilating
her voice
commanding me

never more
to see
birds soar
I who first stood,
To break with "tribal" norms.

To walk from our perennial forms.

The first to leave only footprints.
They speak of absence & inaction -
Yet, 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘵𝘩,
¹ Such things do not exist.
Like imbalance,
These are merely perspectives.
1 - The universe is a "closed" system.
The heliosphere is "boxed" in.
The Earth is contained by an "ocean."
Who first formulated.
Who lifted the veil.
Who first experienced.

Who came from the fog.
Who cleared it.
Who first expressed.

Who emerged from the ocean.
Who walked from the it.
Who first stood.

Who learned to swim.
Who communicated with electric.
Who befriended fire.

Who surfed the waves.
Who noticed the channels.
Who remained.

Who stayed sailing.
Who returns.
Who was chained.

Who saw flame.
Who sees through illusion.
Who was framed.

¹Who unleashed the climate.
²Who dismantled the electrical field.
³Who stemmed magma's reign.

⁴Who cracked the boulder's pebble.
⁵Who called forth the dust.
⁶Who found refuge in lit-dark.

Who built an arc.
Who bridged & arced.
Who lead beneath, under arch.

Who sailed to & fro to warn & to gather.
Who rebuilt & continued to tinker.
Who melded distinct & different peoples.

Who stayed on a boat.
Who resided on a mountain.
Who lived within one.
1 - Un-leashed us from a climate of ignorance. Also the first to understand the greater elements of what makes up the actual climate of our planet.

² - Dismantled the control which electric held over us as being "thoughtless animals" through meditation. The first to begin to understand the actual electrical fields.

3 - The first to successfully communicate with a different, hostile tribe. The first to begin to understand the geological phenomena, like what causes the eruption of volcanos.

4 - The first to understand that it was the Moon which compelled the tides to rise, swell, stir, et cetera.

5 - The first to begin to study astronomy; the stars celestials, et cetera. The first to study the science of everything!

6 - Who led them underground, into caves, to shelter from a predicted natural disaster.



I heard some of you folks really liked this particular story, so here it is unadulterated.
And of course,
As is that it is a continuous, connected course;
The rivers know.
Poseidon as the past,
Zeus as the present,
Hades as the future.

Poseidon; waves & droplets
Which add to an ocean,
Building upon itself.
Whose ripples are still felt
Long after they have dispelled.

Zeus; points & variables
Which alter in expression,
Evolving aspects of itself.
Instances which fluctuate by iteration,
Iterative flux influenced by environment.

Hades; potentiality & movement
Which allows growth & crystallization,
Like sap turning to amber.
As gaseous vents from which our planet's core nurtures;
Plates shifting establishing new lands & new oceans.

All of the same family;
Kronos & Gaia
writing these is like a knife
knowing you read them
maybe aloud
and laugh
yours is black, like night
and probably needs a hundred stents
to keep it in rhythm, and make it pound
it's a gas
to call it a heart
thank you
for a piece of the crown
"Life is cheap,"
Said strong to weak.
"Wrong is right,"
Spoke rich to meek.
"Do none, hear none - nor speak, or see."
Evil said to divinity.
And we wonder why, when then
We do speak, that
No one seems to be listening.
The way was long, and wrapped in gloom did seem
As I urged on to seek my vanished dream;
Yet within my soul I burned,
Not a moment passed, but I longed.
Daily, thoughts raced on the growth of distance
Traced upon by the curve of wrinkles-
The curse of the age
To draw on memories
Hope & fantasy, of what were once
The focus of the future
Belie the life before me
Excerpts from Li Sao & A Lament for Ying
I'm talking to you;
Is it because I have to
Or because I want to?
I'm talking to you;
Is it to understand you
Or so I am understood?
I'm talking to you;
Is it that I like you
Or that I don't?
I'm taking to you;
Is it to hear myself
Or to be heard?
Is it solely from the verb
Or by the noun?
In this rhetoric,
Is it mine or ours or yours?
In this dialogue,
Is it gossip, chitchat, or conversation?
By the course of it
Is it chance, choice, or demand?
I'm talking to you
Or I'm talking with you?
I got a little book,
A LifeLog I've put
All the aggregated data I can collect.
I buy up every market share I can get
And run my little freak simulations
Where I stimulate all of life
Because I'm such a ******* coward
And obsessed with control.

What started small
Now extends to everyone
Without a concern for your privacy,
In ways wholly unconstitutional.
relationships
are water on the rock
erosion
rust on iron
corrosion
a match to nitroglycerin
explosions
it's love undeniable
minor indiscretions unbeknownst to you
picked apart
it's having someone reliable
to leave you stranded and alone in your moments dark
joy undescribable
when you're stabbed in the heart
walking away
maybe we'll pick this up again
who's to say
we'll even stay friends

to sleep for days
the time will never end

i blink awake
just to begin all over then

it wasn't fake
but who's genuine

you say to leave and stay,
you have so few hands to lend.
read all i've splayed.
there's no worth to it,

you'll understand
so many mind games
and thoughts i have to think twice
before they sink in
i wonder
does she feel for me
or is she out to use me
turning me out from within
pinch my pockets
gouges down my back
reducing my eyes to sockets
with just a blank look
preclude the multitude
of thoughts drenched
in savage observations
savagery, like apathy
are better let
to pass you by
Promies, never to,
The premise of us to part.
Should I ever leave you,
Let being be dashed-
Against black canvas.
Let blood be
A medium of art.

These shackled hands,
Consequence of circumstance
And everything I have entailed.
Perchance, happenstance-
That which we have lived
And all that was not availed.
The fog of brokenness, and ache of loneliness.

Against reality, we rail.
is there some sting
to these words of mine
is there time?
make sense of this
you work forty hours a week
and still can't meet
the standard your parents did
what gives?
put in the hours
but don't dream of ivory
can't you see
that's not for you or me
our ilk works, sweats, and bleeds
oh, you can dream
but that's all they can be
so don't waste your day
in a happy lull
with a head fixed
on material ****
move ahead
and let's fix this
got a punchline
it's your hook
you swing it, sink it in
but it's fickle and feeble
and i can still swim
and the stream is kickin'
deepest affinities for you, my love
i am sorry i do not always say
always show it
and curse me if it leave you sore
for sore my world would be
without you
when you
don't get what you want
you get kind of mean,
you think being mean
is the best thing
to do
if I upset you
and that's been a thing
throughout the entirety
of me
knowing you

you are ready to detach
at any moment's notice
and show
no care
to it
even though
it hurts
you say all these things
but they're just words
where's your actions
but it's all on me right

my episodes don't matter
my feelings on the matter
whether they differ
they're wrong
and i'm
the sadder one
Never was water more refreshing,
Than when I thought I would die of thirst.
Fire never felt so warm as
The moments before I was burned,
And never looked as beautiful
As before it was consumed.
Light split like memories,
When I look up into the night sky;
Things gone, things refracted,
All that's there that eclipses the eye.
I never knew what it was to be *****,
Acting like I was always clean.
Never knew how wrong I was
Thinking I was always right, ignorantly
Hurting those around me
As they've hurt me.
Stagnant puddle reflecting,
Wading against the stream;
Swimming but drowning
treating her sadly
in his dull pride admired

when his innocence, inoculated
with sour spores,
devolves into thick hides
jaded attitudes
and glazed gaze
raised in the house,
to only look in at the garden
via viewports distorted
wanna make me work for it
cool
you just better give it up
i feel very stifled
and stuck
by the economy in this state
move?
litigate
you lazy ******* shills
leave my home
cause you want to rob it?


tax too high?
we won't stomp it
well ****
that's your problem
A battle fought is never in vain
Whether the outcome's defeat, victory, surrender, or retreat
To peace, it's all the same
For civilities' sake
We could lay down our rifles
Walk away from the trifle
And dust we kicked up
Feign sickness
Acting like you chucked
Refuse service
Merchants of deaths ducked
Flee elsewhere
Instill a boat's deck with your trust
And hope it's helm steady
Cause Lord above knows
Which direction bears hell or heaven
And of both in this world there's plenty
how do you get a boilover?
you can turn up the heat
add more water
or increase the pressure

of course, you're using a melting ***
so there might be some difference
in how much you'd need of each, respectively

no past recipe can really offer preparation
the water's not the same
the temperatures' change
and pressure varies wildly
from kitchen to kitchen
and it wanes
because I am not giving all of myself
when you will not
and the french girl was saying
all about how to topple
the patriarchy;
American man
American man

agrarian origins
an itch for war,
once upon a time
a puritan,
from what I've heard
with dreams of white Christmases
in days of old
I remember, what you were
Every man is a leader

Leader of his life,
Chief of his destiny.
What incongruous cards
Fate can deal us
To permit the interruption
Of the aforementioned
And render some potential limited

The oyster we shall crack;
To unearth the pearl in every person.

Fix, any ill. Cure any poison
So you know I don't believe
A ton of the **** I'm musing on,
But rather I am just musing on it.
Yet, we know of violent extremists
Which we are funding
Who do believe in similar rhetoric;
But I am guilty?
No. ******* and **** that.

Where's my army funds?
Where are my weapons and munitions?
Oh, right. I forgot.
The Irish aren't people,
No need to apply.
We are the Tuath Dé
no one
i know
likes you
when you're the topic of talk
faces turn sour
with scowls
cause they say
you don't treat me well
unwell
possibly all about
herself
try for so long
but in the end
all i did
was harm
to myself
i relent
letting you go
who knows
if this feelings goes too
please
make sure it do
half of me thinks
you want it so
i never get over you
it's moot
like soot
this friendship leaves
on my brow
cause it just feels like work
burning, just to see me hurt
and i do it too
good luck with things
since you don't keep friends
loose ends
why not just take me out
Embrace change,
Welcome the weird
And invite in the strange.
Nothing to fear,
But what that yet
We don't understand.
Nothing to fear
But the feeling;
That we have still yet to comprehend.
writing in fugue states
distress, take me
and give me dizziness
only to see black
what mistake
made me so
today, was too late
that i should have noticed before

the body falters
i know i said i'd wait
but what am i waiting for
and am i just enabling
pain for you
do you need more
of course
no one asks this ****
or it's something they ignore
when it dawns on you
i'll be the bad actor
and a used up, discarded *****
Scalding my palm
On her rosy skin.
We are young, with a love that's warm
In it's infancy; honest, open, and giving.
I burn for her,
A wildfire of desire
With no forests' end.

I yearn to be the
One she does, when
She learns to love again.
she isn't the first to say
let's run away
but she's the first
i'd travel to the ends of earth
just to be with
how many more new years will i receive and man does it throw me for a loop
with how little they've all meant thus far
i ain't got nothing
sweet nothing
nothing to chain me down
maybe i want a woman
to help my head
from the clouds to the ground
before i'm dead
and forgotten beneath dirt mounds
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