i remember the person you were
before this man latched onto you like a sore
sure, i'm fooling myself
cause this is how you've always been
i can hear it now
you won't quit
i won't be putting myself
through this
over and over again
so i guess that's it
it doesn't matter
i'm sure you have other men

its all franchises
as far as you might see
burger joints, taco houses, and pizza parlors
dot the horizon

the whole lot
greasier than the pan
than the canola oil, a whole can of pam

its warehouse-sized stores
full of disgruntled
shuffling cheap trash
package to shelf
packaged for the shelf
in anticipation to sit

listen a while
under the low murmur
of the machine humming
you can hear ma n pop wailin'

Continuity and infinity,
Why they have to be
Is beyond me.
The end of all things, I
Wish I were lucky enough to see.
But more than that,
I wish I were free.

Take me at my word,
Or don't.
To me, it's nearly the same.
But don't expect
Should you neglect
To accept me being forthright,
That the same expression
Should cross my face.
You mistook honesty for lie,
Biography for farce,
Stand-up not discussion-
It is yet tragedy but comedy.

So the freaks who have more alienated themselves,
And as consequence us all,
As though they are royalty
Slander the name of all of Europe;
It's nobility & law,
It's cultures & histories?
Asia and the Africas,
Even those of this same continent?

Where do you hope to go, creatures?

For when, not now if,
You craft for yourself a throne,
We shall pin you to it
And make ourselves a new monument.
There, on the banks of reflection,
You will hear our rally call;
Then you shall fall.

Ad tyrannos calcamus!

no time to see you
no time to date
no promises
only talk
and little, as of late
your fault
not that
you see it
that way
move on
because minor incidents
are the ruin
of everything

there is a cowardice
in the essence of lying
perhaps, it is the death
of the momentary innocence
a new conversation begins with
or the betrayal
brought on by that who had lied
betraying the converser, himself, and truth

It is a fair assumption
To believe that truth is habitually withheld,
In the daily routine of "inconsequential,
Miniscule" white lies.
As in larger defeats
Where the sting of humility or embarrassment linger,
In plans gone awry.
To understand this is not to condone this,
But never to engage in it.
To do so any different
Would only prove otherwise.

he was much
like those before him
precarious of the future
loatheful of the present
and closing his eyes off to the past
but disconnection renders naught
and one might need to prime the mind
for deep and tender thought

i am done
with everyone
i know
and the man
in the mirror
can finally die
when i slit his throat
slow
and beads of blood
trickle
before the flood
flows
i greet

rising
crashing
this
warm fuzzy feeling
in my stomach
creeping across me
falling peacefully
in and out
pieces of me
coming out
clinging
just to slip through
i want to shout
but i have no mouth
and prayer
doesn't work
i'm not devout
so i go on
wondering about
free of doubt
free of it all
casting a shadow
as my character

saccharin saturated smiles
faulty mass produced liars
with platitudes
that wish you well
and actions that say
go to hell
would that satisfy you?
an eternity
in a lake of fire
just to satisfy you
burn me, but of torture I'd tired
like here
mad hags and ranting shrews
angry freaks and cowardly dudes
taking all the abuse
and i can see the hate on their face
but i can't help but smile

what is abuse
to someone who will not walk away
refuses to
and any hand offered
swatted too
i ask what's the use
will i have to watch another person i love
**** themselves
as i am helpless
saddest part of it is
it isn't me
who's helpless

to keep sane
huffing
the war breaking out
outside
this paper bag
my thoughts
muffler
stifle and catch in my throat
choke
the cause age old
playing
synth in my ear
seethe
carpe diem
and rage into the night

I challenge you to broaden your views
If you are one who is adversarial,
But should you shun competition
I welcome you to engage in cooperation.
That we may learn from each other,
Sharing our personal perspectives.
If I had ventured to say
That there is no such sturdier foundation
From which upon to build on,
Would you call me crazy?
Perhaps, in a pitiful way,
You would refer to me
As an optimist
Or as daydreaming & faraway.
It's just not realistic, not here or today.
Cooler heads do not prevail,
Safety leveraged over risk is gay,
Precaution is something for *******.
What bullish nonsense and pigheadedness,
Are you not freely disposed toward exercising
Those of your most sacred rights & liberties?
Is too heavy the weight of vulnerability?

it's on me
for the people i interact with
because they don't seem
to respect that i have issues too
and they affect how i respond or act or think
i forgot
to be broken
that's just for all of you

am i making assumptions
no actually
i try not to jump to conclusions
but what about having a mind
with nine tracks running
doesn't say to you
that some are loose
i can yank
but it's a long train
and i can grip
only the caboose

I am this way
Because you are all that way;
You are that way
Because we are all this way -
We are this way
Because it is all so confusing!

I tell you though,
Meditate.
I heard it's healthy.

I tell you though,
Foster Silence.
For it's good for our mentality.

I tell you though,
Focus your breathing.
They say it's good for your brains.

the last thing i want to do
is upset you
but it's food for thought
i can fix you a plate
but i can't feed you
he treats you like ****
and you let him
he thinks it luck and you fate
some fatal attraction
and you, a helpless actress
in a comedic tragedy
of his own twisted direction
take some control

he's a grown man
well, that petty much says how you see me
i guess i might be bothered
if i gave credence
to others' thoughts
regarding myself
but i do
yours
does it give you joy
to play on my anxieties
never see me
a faceless joke
for you to stoke
to keep the laughs going

yuppie ****
think you're an intellectual
cause you say a few fanciful words
recite a few blurbs
of things you misheard
smarter men speak
you wreak
pathetic and weak
and you can barely stand
to look me in the eye
i see right through you
this is no position
you're suited to

not every man wants the same thing
but most men want, similarly
and whether it's as grand
as the vision their minds portrayed
or as to if it sees their hearts splayed
their soul is on display
and it can be a vulnerable proceeding
and so far as in love goes
like life, it is fleeting
better to have had it
and lost it
then to have gone on living
and never known it

your man
makes me despise all men
even though
i just should despise you
i can't bring myself to
he's just a boy
i guess you're just a girl
can't see clearly
close my eyes, but you still stir
in my mind
reaching out my arm
but it just reminds
of all the time apart
the slits you've cut
that which you done
what was harm
stays with me
putty in your palm
mashed and grated
spliced, and dissected
like your veterinary demonstrations

If decency demanded
A pound of your flesh
Would you grab a blade
And hock it off?
Laid on the scales in perpetuity,
The insignificant life does not even register a blip on radar
Yet we still cherish and protect it.
If your life came at a cost,
How many would need die before you were indebted?

I don't know what you were doing,
But you look like a dog
That just stole the roast
From right off the table!
Actually, I know it,
I'm just giving it a better face.

In that mercy, is it grace?
Is it blessing? Are you saved?

Anchors like weights,
Writs from writers acting
Behind the curtains.
I fear they don't even know it's a play,
But they're aware there's stakes.
Whatever press representative
That today flirt nationally
Are riddled with stains.
Very few apart from the alternative,
Though they have well suffered
By those who are dependents.

Who is guilty? Who is judging?

What a web
Of clever widows.
The venom burns,
Acid lapped wounds,
Too early for the pain to subsist.
And of what I know,
She has yet to confess
And likely never remit.

Considers protest at disrespect,
To be the sigil
Of a *****.
In reality
He who chokes down ****
And smiles through it,
Is in actuality.
But what is it,
To remit?

What peace is spoken of?
What normalcy?
More war? Further widening the gap
Between the rich & the poor?
Another mean-nothing speech,
Full of thoughts and prayers
Never to be carried to term?
Bills brought to the floor
Only to be stalled by their authors?
Flirting with failure
From manufactured crisis, and with
Pointless battles over culture.
Never have the oppressive been more direct
In their inability to lead
Views, values, beliefs;
Scavenging their remains
Akin to common vultures.

i feel the moss
between my toes
and the mud
i fell into
only minutes earlier

loss, is a cost
we all have to pay
suffering
blood on the window
of the lense
we all see through

on your knees
we'll figure it out
it's okay
and we don't pray
but **** do we wish

and each kiss
means everything to me
i know how much they mean to you
and i never have any
intention to hurt you

and baby
i just want to die

But it's all just perspective! Isn't it?
Someone stood on their head
Has a different perception
Of up & down.

That's why there's things like gravity.
To remind you,
Even in an avalanche,
Direction is not subjective -
Orientation is.

That's why there's different states of matter.
To remind you,
Even in a vacuum,
Being is not subjective -
Change is.

life is already a lot for you
i know
i'm supposed to offer relief
but i just upset you
maybe it's best
you give me a rest
and get on
to living better

You slipped up,
You ****** up,
Creating that trap
Made for our attention;
The inter-net.
You can't help but gloat
That the cards are stacked,
But I've got your ticket.

So it is on us,
Every average Jane & Joe
Regardless of origin, so long
As they are truly American
To stand-up to these politicians
And call them out on their *******
Their lies and corruption
Cronyism, drug abuse
Embezzlement
These are the obvious
But if we do not push back
They will continue on
If we do not push back
We have not long
Before the train is completely derailed
As they dismantle the track
We blaze on

one man
but another in the mirror
speaking back
deception
a warning to the faint of heart
to avoid a hard earned lesson
keep the love you have
and hold it in recession
if your lover proves shy
in returning warm receptions
for you are like a beggar blind
when in denial
of a petty rejection

happy hours
in the dawn of day
before it all begins
and i can listen
to the birds sing
the rustle of the trees
from the breeze
rolling through

i typically don't talk much about myself
like the new job, my second now
or skydiving
getting drunk with new friends
speeding to 121 while driving
cliff diving
the mountainous hiking
or the praise from my manager
and a raise coming
these things feel like they don't matter

moments from tonight
will be burned into my mind
hot iron brands on skin
and I don't know
how to feel alright
water filling the lungs in
what good would talking do
and walking is no use
stuck like a pin
I just want everyone to be alright
to be happy and have enough
battles you can't win

These poems are generally spat out within a matter of minutes.
The rhyme schemes, unfortunately,
Symptomatic of how my thoughts flow.
Some kind of horrible harmony
That stalls and slows the more focus I show.

I try to keep you close
But I can never seem to stop you
From drifting away.
We have strange polarity,
You and I.
Know the under and over,
But never the why,
And at this point
I wish to die

friends, family, strangers
can insult and badger me
and it doesn't do all that much
maybe a little red in the face
but i address it
i don't know what it is about you
but i can't stand it
to stand up to you
but now
treatment demands it
and you will do what you do
although i obsess over you
and love you
and the loss feels only as my own
i know you're losing too

i'm here
always here
you could reach out
if you cared
god
i wish you would

It's easy to talk like you know it,
To portray that you have good insight
And possess an informed perspective.
To pretend that you're knowledgeable,
Considerate, introspective.

At least, it sounded smart in your head.
Something was lost in translation
When it was finally written or said.

I assure you I really do care
And I can explain why I don't.

You must have misheard me
Or not have understood me,
I was the one speaking
So I think I'm the authority on the conversation.

Despite you having me dead to rights,
Clearly in quotes,
I demand for denial & the presumption of it
As I maintain my innocence.

That is fake news, misinformation,
And a misrepresentation of the situation.
Totally baseless claims & pure speculation.

Whatever lies at the root,
Regardless truth.

I'm sorry you feel that way but,
Despite any piece of evidence,
That's just your opinion.

These are politically scientific opiums,
These noxious feral serums
Poison the whole of living,
Whether local or national
As collective or individual.

Hostile & aggressive speech
On the behalf of any party/individual,
By any speaker.

To argue your perspective in a concise and eloquent manner in court.

Those who lob false accusations must continue to lie and try to tear down the truth.
Yet, the beauty of trails of paper and properly kept records, when the evidence is not against, but in favor of you:
Why harbor the heavy conscience?

When the burden of proof is truly no weight for you,
For the innocent bare no responsibly to prove that they are such and feel nothing but indignant for facing *******-up allegations.
Who would not feel anger?

Rather, those who bring forth the issue must beyond a reasonable doubt prove the accused's culpability and convince others of their guilt resolute.
Especially in those cases of collectives versus individuals,
As in cases brought against or by the many state & federal apparatuses around the globe,
Or as in the cases of employer versus labor.

In natures both competitive & cooperative,
Romantic & platonic;
By many chandeliers & candelabra
Do we each tend to different flames,
But the fires burn the same.

In innumerable different ways,
The things we say are indistinguishable
Even if they are misinterpreted or mistaken.
The things we say are often the same,
But either wrongly said or poorly received.

How much is simply the cause
Of grave miscommunication?

Hostile & aggressive speech
On the behalf of any individual/party,
By any speaker.

That a man is presumed innocent
And with that he is given
The benefit of doubt,
The burden of evidence
Lies on the accuser.

But first the case
Must make it before the courtroom
And stand trial under judge and possibly jurors.

Wherein if things were perfect
And this were some utopia;
Honest & fair judicial proceedings
Without differentiatons or distinctions,
But a base which takes into ruling
Merit of the content of character
And possibility & potential.

Less rushing, greater depth of dialogue, and fitter tailored.

Asking, "What would I have done?"
Saying, "What should I do?"

i already know the answer
but not the why
just to know
i'll survive
or guilt
built up inside
something to hide
back when i wrote disguised
and omitted, comparably to have lied
outside, my mind
dark thoughts that linger behind
lying just a skip away in the subconscious
the past haunts
the trauma that binds
the things i have still yet to find

quid pro quo
don't act like you don't know
you only get
if you give a show
turn a trick
or pucker and blow
what's that honey
"qualifications?"
why don't you
bend over
and give me a demonstration
get a role
if you're still pure
like fresh fallen snow
my un-plucked rose
cherry red cheeks
like maraschino

This turkey pardon is nonsense,
Clearly symbolic.
But people seem to
No longer grasp the extent
To which that symbolism goes.
The gobblers which we free,
Where do they go?
To live out their lives in solitude
On a quiet reserve.
The rest?
Well, we just put them to death
Enshrined in a yearly ritual slaughter.
Nothing like that situation of the natives
When we boil off all the water..

And you may say,
"You think of it too much,
Sign to it too much importance."
But I say you think too little
And too small.
You think of all the easements
As entitlements
And not ones which we took
Through invasion and subjugation.