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91 · Mar 2022
I Won't Go Back To Before
friends, family, strangers
can insult and badger me
and it doesn't do all that much
maybe a little red in the face
but i address it
i don't know what it is about you
but i can't stand it
to stand up to you
but now
treatment demands it
and you will do what you do
although i obsess over you
and love you
and the loss feels only as my own
i know you're losing too
90 · Feb 2022
Me
Me
yes, I know
how lonely life can be
it's a tale recounted
if you let it flow
let the bad go, you'll see
what love has grown to
or the little that has
in reality, amounted
one sided
it seems
as most of your relationships
tend to be
it's a trend
one of the ones
i'm breaking free
90 · Mar 2022
Lively Up
the first time we touch
remind me not
to mark you
he might notice
and that'd be awkward
word
not like this isn't
now
how you do switch
with ease
turn off your feelings
cold freon
gonna be an eon
waiting to feel
like i could love again

***** around i guess
with old flames
until then
while they look
for the same thing
hang on
until desire is quenched
or i'm hanging
swingin'
higher and higher
keep on
higher and higher

can i
this mental block
is crazy
emptiness that fills
the void
inside
this cavity
that only grows
talent to please
but where's my appeasement
i invite relief
from lazy, uncaring parties
and get upset
when they prove what i was thinking
what you got
that i don't know
that makes you
so superior
You think you have everyone eating out of your hand
Barely & Oats-
I say, parley
Let me speak to the captain
Or whoever it is that steers the rudder
And commands the oars.
I see before me terrible animals
And in all, worse men.
You think it some great gallon,
But, to me, it looks to be
Much closer to a life boat
Punctured with holes.
90 · Sep 2022
Check Me Out
I got an angle
it's love, conditional
dig?
cause that's how we do it
keep your
brother-sister *******
sing a sad song
***** another wall
burn a new bridge
just promise me
it ain't takin' long
cause I'm not waiting around
89 · Feb 2022
Blind Me
one man's hell is another's heaven?
a reference
to something I said when we were younger
and dumber
it's true, i think the world of you
but what good does it do

for you?
89 · Apr 8
This Way?
For us on the beach,
Outside the gates of "Troy,"
We called ourselves Vulcan.

And they tried to steal our identity!
Us! The Gardeners!

That's what they wrote the Torah around,
For they stole our children.

They put them on an island;
Pleasure Island, Toyland.

They bought and they sold them,
Used them & abused them.

I have rebuilt what was destroyed.
I have restored what was corrupted.
I have returned an elusive wisdom.
Because the Abra"ham"ic books were originally put together by pedophiles & cannibals. Using intellectuals they coerced or abducted to write the texts. But the Jewish people were wise and exiled them. Then they had the same family of intellectuals put together the "test"aments, to see if they could get things back on track in their "directions."
Then they immigrated to Rome and help start the "glad""i""at""or" fights, so there was a fresh supply of each. Lots of double speak, either gay or faggotry. Gay - Happy. Faggotry - you should be fuel for a pyre.
Hate that they made that word homophobic.
Or
If we're all just going to be extremists now and accept such disgusting states of the world, then who cares what I say. Isn't it more important what we do? Or what has been done?
Yet, it's not as though I lived it. There's no certain expressed belief of the subject matter on my part.
I guess I'm just another blind, hateful person shooting in the dark. ;3
89 · Mar 2022
Ha
Ha
can't help but laugh
at the people that detract
simply from being offending
89 · Dec 2021
Worry Tomorrow
through the slivers of night
that slice betwixt your curtains
stabbing at you like knives
all the regrets, all the burdens
regress into dark light
that sleep beckons
in your yearning
relief is a far sight
and your worry burning
89 · Jun 2022
She Signed The Letter
babooshka
i haven't the time
for games
the mind can only be split so much
and do you parse through the pieces
you wring out
this wet rag
if it's tears you want
watch me weep
and anger is something i keep
to feed the furnace of my soul
and it's a ***** fuel
i need something renewable
but the miles just don't add up
it all feels futile
89 · Aug 2024
As Too In Loving
I know you don't think you are,
But you are capable of being loved.
No matter how much pain you've endured,
No matter how much pain you've caused
You are still deserving & worthy of love.
88 · Feb 2022
Days Of Wine And Roses
orange, as the light
that tells me my engine
needs to be serviced
shallow night, boring
noticing every note now
it's torture
picking apart each piece
combing
it's autonomic
like breathing
snoring
88 · Jul 2022
Zigzag
this life
is never truly lived
we're all too focused
choking down *******
and those of us that aren't
are too concerned
creating trouble
for the rest of us
88 · Oct 2022
English
call me
run your fingers through my hair
give me signs
you're at least there
88 · Jun 2022
I Miss Having Family
i see the pain hidden in my siblings face
and it makes me cry
i wish there were something i could do
but when i try to be honest
you reproach me
and i know it's the past that troubles you too
it troubles me
and i do love you
but that's always a thing
i've felt you've refute
87 · Nov 2022
Checkered Pattern Floor
I've bet on luck
waited for the other shoe to drop,
that wager will drive you bankrupt.
your life is in your hands.
lay the money on your name
the cards are already stacked
so why not stay true to yourself,
when odds are
you lose the game
87 · Mar 2022
Cardio
found your daddy yet?
cause i got a me ****
and her son loves me
and her man is oblivious
he's nice but
he's just an idiot
leavin her unsatisfied
wants me to give her
another kid
yea well um uh
you see
i don't know
if that's me
keep clapping them cheeks though
could go for weeks
between and below
think you're a ******
i'm a freak
87 · Jun 2022
Most Of All
for those who have taught me
or try to teach
i always appreciated it
and still do
i want you to know
if no one else tells you,
good job
maddened by
all that i don't know
it makes sense that,
it only being a portion of a picture
a sliver of your life
what you're comfortable to show

suppose it's what you would be
free from happenstance
unburdened, all you could be
if only
not for the cosmos' harp
if not for the hands of chance

this trepidations man i am
today, when an honest heart
is a sure sentence, guilty
the first step down the road
of the tired path of the ******
is to give up and fold
to say, if it's so it's so
accepting things with no gripe
no complaint, even when it's wrong
and you have the unfortune in knowing

i loved what i'd seen
what had been shown
before the clock was cleaned
the gears all greased
every meaningful place
stamped out, like the grand empires of old

and now they're churned out
broken, spoiled, soiled
focused looking solely,
totally out on their own

closer than ever, yet poles apart
we roam
87 · Mar 2022
Green River
is it selfish
here, misdirection
did you know
the male seahorse
gives birth
while the fairer ***
just gets to get on with living
what a world
they must see
more color cones
so you know it must be pleasing
leagues under the sea
where did vern learn

to think up all these beautiful things
and keep them to ones' self
forego wealth, you know you could have
or was already yours
knowing you could do more
rash tings, from the emotions
spending, on things i can't afford
i am no better
especially after tonight
i am so much worse
i am horrible
87 · Jul 2022
Reds
deepest affinities for you, my love
i am sorry i do not always say
always show it
and curse me if it leave you sore
for sore my world would be
without you
87 · Nov 2023
Oh, Pain Transpires
The harrowing angst,
Of night soon come to close.
And the anxiety of a new day,
What troubles does it hold?

The weight that doesn't stop, but only grows
Pressure on my neck, shoulders, collar bones.
Peace of mind, and a piece of the pie;
What more could I ask for?

A restful sleep, for but a night-
One where I am not tormented by all that has taken its course,
And every steer of the rudder
That veered me farther into the unknown.
86 · Oct 2022
Really Good Person
preclude the multitude
of thoughts drenched
in savage observations
savagery, like apathy
are better let
to pass you by
86 · Apr 2022
Zimmerli
went to the gallery
i'd shown you
it was nice
you would like it
was all i could think
What is it one seeks
When they're not seeing?
Evidently, not blindness.
It is closer to sight, closer to vision.
Yet, if what is sought
Is but like soot -
Such a thing is akin to nothing.
No more than the dust
From what was once a pebble.
No more dust
Than that which is nothing,
Never again to be rebirthed.
Such a thing searches for non-existence.

Alternatively, perhaps one sees
But has been blinded.
They only need be healed.
86 · Feb 2022
Operator?
hold on
while i transfer you
to a back line
give you a couple backhanded lies
and stab you a few times
86 · Mar 2024
To Hope, We Keep
It is shameful,
That ones will try to
Break your brilliance, to test
Of what you are capable.
What foul intent.
Worse yet, to have
Little breath but still be unable
Even to catch a moment of respite;
Parallels of the shallow and deep.
The waters we dwell,
Paired with the walls of the well.
86 · Mar 2022
I Wouldn't Either Lol
i'm here
always here
you could reach out
if you cared
god
i wish you would
86 · Feb 2022
Blanco
i have the courage to ****
and i've instilled the will
through a drip
and still
concentrated
focused
gnawing,
till i've had my fill
and the house of cards
crumbles
86 · Feb 2022
No Surprises
**** nostalgia
and family and friends
**** the queen, the president, prime ministers
all the positions in between
all tied and loose ends
let it all begin again
history repeats
a story of no winning
it never meant
anything
85 · May 2024
For Shame
What difference does a **** make to me?
None.
Fools running a country
In the desert, into the ground.
Another on-stage for the EU.
What difference does it make
What name you take?
It's the same **** you spew
From a *****'s mouth
Sold to the most secretive
Or those just as ignorant,
Whether in the same or different ways.
85 · Jan 2022
Leafy Bastard
sometimes i have the will to walk away
other times i can't get through the day
it's an addiction
cravings that need fixing
from cigarettes, hookahs, and e-liquids
nicotine and man mixing
84 · Oct 2022
Vegas Sucks
ripping the flowers
out of my hands
and the saying
is spring brings showers
and it is the youth of my life
so some rain is expected
just need a promise
it's merely
partly cloudy
84 · Feb 2022
Walking
shutting my mind to it all
i'll stay the grind till the axe fall
cause i won't be caught off guard
i'll go my own way and stand tall
maybe it's my pride
but it never swells
maybe it's me
insecurities
they never leave me
but i'm growing
you start living
not knowing
so if it takes some time
for you to get your legs
that's alright
83 · Mar 2022
Cigarette Holder
wake up filthy
she says to me
her cigarette smoke
blown in my face
good morning

i hate all the thoughts
i can't stand my
head

water stains
on what remains
of the bed sheets
his arms outstretched
tied to the frame

whips, belts, chains
leather bound
looking astounding
fatal femme
dom dame
inflicting pain with a smile on your face
our misfortune
that democracy in our country
is broken,
with our public institutions
in the stranglehold
of an inept elite ruling class
and our money hoarded
*******, by those that don't understand
how to spend it
and refuse to profligate
that dollar they diefy
83 · Jan 2022
The Lower Caste
contemplating suicide
because what is life worth
to be a beggar, without so much as a bowl
drinking down muddied waters
consuming tasteless mush,
which will make you sick,
being thin, and lanky
with hair overgrown
and nails *****
contemplating suicide
because life is worth it
if you've worth
83 · Jul 12
P. Z. H.
And of course,
As is that it is a continuous, connected course;
The rivers know.
Poseidon as the past,
Zeus as the present,
Hades as the future.

Poseidon; waves & droplets
Which add to an ocean,
Building upon itself.
Whose ripples are still felt
Long after they have dispelled.

Zeus; points & variables
Which alter in expression,
Evolving aspects of itself.
Instances which fluctuate by iteration,
Iterative flux influenced by environment.

Hades; potentiality & movement
Which allows growth & crystallization,
Like sap turning to amber.
As gaseous vents from which our planet's core nurtures;
Plates shifting establishing new lands & new oceans.

All of the same family;
Kronos & Gaia
83 · Feb 2022
I Am Broken
the cowboy cries
alone, in his car
with the music playing
loud enough to drown out
any noise he might make
he doesn't care if anyone else hears
but that's something he can't bare
82 · Mar 2022
Bitter Skins
trust is earned
respect is earned
adoration and love
and just as easily
burned
when it's something you scorn
forlorn
the track i drive
treads worn
weather the storm
but not for much longer
82 · Jul 15
Max
Max
I'm working on a book,
Perhaps you've already read some of it.

Hope you enjoy the work thus far
And have learned from it.
81 · Feb 2022
Sierra, Nevada
i should be stronger
but i'm a stranger to strength
like a lone ranger
that runs the river's length
i go home
to see it taken back by the bank
and bushfires rage
crops reduced to soot
turn that page
to a chapter that's good
book bust?
change the story
be a space cadet, and get real far out
or a distinguished genius
decorated general
car salesmen
banana peddler
81 · Mar 2022
Four Wheel Drive
silently crying
driving
the tears come down
welling up
behind my eyelids
streams cut
over the ridges
of my face
smoothly riding
81 · Mar 2022
You Think Like A Man
love for you is easier
i am glad, i am
myself?
i am broken

*******
*******
you came back
not me
you slice wounds open
and stick in your dilator
you love
to see me bleed

it's all overreaction
but not really
81 · Mar 2022
Stalin Grins
we will take anything
anyone
we'll give you a gun
food, and boots
and a flight there
conditions will be rough
the front is tough
and the fight
isn't fair
we need every hand
no combat training
not in the best shape
we don't care
put on a flak vest
do your best
and make the Russians run red
80 · Apr 2022
Iridescent
to keep sane
huffing
the war breaking out
outside
this paper bag
my thoughts
muffler
stifle and catch in my throat
choke
the cause age old
playing
synth in my ear
seethe
carpe diem
and rage into the night
80 · Mar 2022
Disgusting
advantage
i always give it
to the other guy
i never need it
even if i do
i carry through

i came down
to visit
a place below my knees
rock bottom
to be
beneath
80 · Mar 2024
The Saints
How to goade a hunter?
Just act as bait.
Pretend you know no more,
Than the fish in the lake
And when they get close
Take them under the water
And make whole again.
Join them,
Whether they emerge changed
Or remain in a watery grave.
79 · Mar 2022
Hatter
cause i like it
cause i like it
when you cry
it's like ecstacy
for every ounce of pain
you've caused me
i don't want you to die
and prematurely
end your suffering
prolong it all
watch you bleeding,
happiness ain't for me,
stab at beauty
it's reflection is ugly
inside
what you hide
festers faster
than if you hadn't
there was never
a happily ever after
79 · Apr 2022
So I Cry
i don't want this
choking down *****
why do you make me feel like this
i don't want to part
i don't want to say goodbye
but you don't want
to be apart of my life
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