If you were to marry,
I’d sit in the crowd,
but not with others amongst the pews.

I’d stand far away -
in the grass with the bugs,
and ponder of me and you.

They’d crawl up my legs,
and I’d scratch at my thighs -
then squeeze gently like you used to do.

Wondering what could have been,
perhaps better if not -
something slick I once thought was glue.

Now you’re not my lover,
a kinship I feel,
but my heart is still beating in blue.

Aware everyone experiences at
Different times, but there’s a clear
Divide between who has experienced the
Interpersonal turmoil of a loss that
Changes the fibers of your life and being,
Thoughtless others who will eventually see
I wasn’t sensitive or cold,
Only grieving a thing I wish they
Never had to understand, but will.

I want everyone to leave me the **** alone

We’d start our trek
to see the fire
flying in the sky.

The overwhelm encompassed
by the empty in our eyes.

We’d take it out on one another,
thinking this is wrong.
But maybe we just needed plans
for road trips that are long.

Cravings for what’s similar -
A taste
Left wanting more

Riddled deep with gnats and worms
Rotten to the core

But might the sweetness from within
Derive from could-be rot?

Tender ripeness with a bite,
Decidedly it’s not