We were misfits
jokers in the deck
penny drifters in
the upper crust
pick pockets in any
crowd of swells
we went where
the sirens called
and crashed on rocks
but still live on.

Strings bent left and right
that touch me never touched.
Baptize me one last time as I
should have been before I
lost my way and found you
in a bar we found paradise.

Time warps are real,
God cheats, will steal
minutes become hours
night's stolen stars.
We live in sideshows
freaks nobody knows
the rules to follow.
It all seems shallow.
It's right or wrong.
It's weak or strong.

Time warps are real
God cheats, will steal
minutes become hours
night's stolen stars.
We live in sideshows
freaks nobody knows
the rules to follow.
It all seems shallow.
It's right or wrong.
It's weak or strong.
all crooked rhyme
warped bent time.

My life is not a page
with gibberish poetry
more of a fire of rage
atomic bomb imagery
melted heart boiled tears
I picked flowers never
in the radioactive years
time healed the fever.

My life is not a page
with gibberish poetry
more of a fire of rage
atomic bomb imagery
melted heart boiled tears
I bought flowers never
over 33 barren years
space broke the fever.

We share deepest secrets.
  I know your odd appetites.
  You know my worst regrets.
  We toast our sweet delights.
  I hunger for my own kind
  on the ends of a spectrum.
  Ordinary people are blind
 to nature colors of Autumn.

I've been breathing the fumes
of child abuse in dark rooms
full of innocent mushrooms
suffering through full moons.

Sing your song from inside
   your drug coma like a dead
   Billie Holiday from a grave
   sing like Sirens from bed.

The *****'s strewn about the room
     like branches from a violent storm
     some ascending some descending
     some dying some better off dead

     You better watch your manners even
     in a crack house lust will bend even
     stubborn knees to adore coveted bones
     and defile you with stubborn needs

     a savior is born from these ashes
     hope delivered from a crack head
     rising above human frailty we
     will all crawl to a promised land

     the crack house is no place for
     punctuation or capital letters
     My arrogance is misplaced. We
     have needs that won't be silenced.

the *****'s strewn about the room
     like branches from a violent storm
     some ascending some descending
     some dying some better off dead

     you better watch your manners even
     in a crack house lust will bend even
     stubborn knees to adore coveted bones
     and defile you with stubborn needs

     a savior is born from these ashes
     hope delivered from a crack head
     rising above human frailty we
     will all crawl to a promised land

     the crack house is no place for
     punctuation or capital letters
     My arrogance is misplaced. We
     have needs that won't be silenced.

the *****'s strewn about the room
     like branches from a violent storm
     some ascending some descending
     some dying some better off dead

     you better watch your manners even
     in a crack house lust will bend even
     stubborn knees to adore coveted bones
     and defile you with stubborn needs

     a savior is born from these ashes
     hope delivered from a crack head
     rising above human frailty we
     will all crawl to a promised land

     the crack house is no place for
     punctuation or capital letters
     My arrogance is misplaced. We
     have needs that won't be silenced.

I'll boil you in my angry heart.
    We'll serve you as appetizer and
    cheap wine to accompany. I'll ****
    your friend on our bed at midnight.
    I'll wake in morning sun you're gone
    always feet on the ledge of a death
    you can't avoid until I pull a trigger
    to my temple and take my last breath.

I was married and then not. ****.
  Vows don't demand beheading anymore.
  We earnestly married in farce.
  We drowned in my guilt and moved on.
  I was in wilderness for 40 days and nights.
  You called crying when Pepper got hit by a car
  and died. I came to your dorm room and we
  drank beers and got naked and ****** away
  our precious time. I never saw you again.
  I drove to my Boston's chapter next day.

I was married and then not. ****.
  Vows don't demand beheading anymore.
  We earnestly married in farce.
  We drowned in my guilt and moved on.
  I was in wilderness for 40 days and nights.
  You called crying when Pepper got hit by a car
  and died. I came to your dorm room and we
  drank beers and got naked and ****** away
  our naivete. I never saw you again.
  I went to Boston for my next chapter.

I was married and then not. ****.
  Vows don't demand beheading anymore.
  We earnestly married in our own farce.
  We drowned in my guilt and moved on.
  I was in wilderness for 40 days and nights.
  You called crying when Pepper got hit by a car
  and died. I came to your dorm room and we
  drank beers and got naked and ****** away
  our naivete. I never saw you again.
  I went to Boston for my next chapter.

I try drawing you from  old memories
   but can't get your eyes right. I don't see
   a body that destroyed my earnest vows.
   I can't see your firm young ******* and
   ******* that grew so hard by my caress.
   I can't see us dancing naked in the dark.
   I wish I'd kept the photos. I cremated us
   in an ashtray and I can't see us anymore.

I try drawing you from  old memories
   but can't get your eyes right. I can't see
   the body that destroyed my earnest vows.
   I can't see your warm young ******* and
   ******* that grew so hard by my caress.
   I can't see us dancing naked in the dark.
   I wish I'd kept the photos. I cremated us
   in an ashtray and I can't see us anymore.

I try drawing you from  old memories
   but don't get your eyes right. I can't see
   the body that destroyed my earnest vows.
   I can't feel your warm young ******* and
   ******* that grew so hard by my caress.
   I can't see us dancing naked in the dark.
   I wish I'd kept the photos. I cremated you
   in an ashtray drunk mourning our death.

I try drawing you from  old memories
   but can't get your eyes right. I don't see
   the body that destroyed my earnest vows.
   I can't see your warm young ******* and
   ******* that grew so hard by my caress.
   I can't see us dancing naked in the dark.
   I wish I'd kept the photos. I cremated us
   in an ashtray and I can't see us anymore.

I try drawing you from  old memories
   but can't get your eyes right. I don't see
   the body that destroyed my earnest vows.
   I can't see your warm young ******* and
   ******* that grew so hard by my caress.
   I can't see us dancing naked in the dark.
   I wish I'd kept the photos. I cremated us
   in an ashtray. I can't see you anymore.

We never talked of pleasure.
  It was always buried treasure.
  Marriage was a woman pure
  as a ****** bride to endure.
  Bette home on John's Island
  she finally made her stand.
  Took her kids and left behind
  his ashes they'll never find.

We never talked of pleasure.
  It was always buried treasure.
  Marriage was a woman pure
  as a ****** bride to endure.
  Bette on Charleston Island
  she finally made her stand.
  Took her kids and left behind
  ashes they'll never find.

I'm 87 this month and time has been unkind.
I was such a beauty in my youth beckoning
lovers with indifference. Always in demand.

Empty compliments from sales girls enrage me!
I can still be sweet like poison stealing pain from
your suffering.  Once again, Rudolph Valentino!

Make this old heart explode with your wild eyes.
Bring me a proper final curtain, roses at my feet.
I'll return for you forever for our curtain calls.

Now I love low light and shadows.
     Night is my flattering friend who
     understands the ugliness of aging.
     My skin turns purple as my veins
     capture hold on my thinning skin.
     Onion skin. Thin translucent, like
     strong wind could rip it off bones.
     I was a fetching beauty not too long
     ago. Full sun on the beach I had
     men staring agog. I strutted and
     knew they didn't have a chance. I
     decided who would plant their flag.

I'm 87 this month and time has been unkind.
I was such a beauty in my youth beckoning
lovers with indifference. Always in demand.
Empty compliments from sales girls enrage me!
I can still be sweet like poison stealing pain from
your suffering.  Once again, Rudolph Valentino!
Make this old heart explode with your wild eyes.
Bring me a proper final curtain, roses at my feet.
I'll return for you forever for our curtain calls.

I'm 87 this month and time has been unkind.
I was such a beauty in my youth beckoning
lovers with indifference. Always in demand.

Empty compliments from sales girls enrage me!
I can still be sweet like poison stealing pain from
your suffering.  Once again, Rudolph Valentino!

Make this old heart explode with your wild eyes.
Bring me a proper final curtain, roses at my feet.
I'll return for you forever for our curtain calls.

We never talked of pleasure.
  It was always buried treasure.
  Marriage was a woman pure
  as a ****** bride to endure.
  Bette home on John's Island
  she finally made her stand.
  Took her kids and left behind
  his ashes they'll never find.

I have reached an age
without another page
pay an obscene wage
shouting more rage
on my silent stage
death's golden cage.

I have reached an age
without another page
pay an obscene wage
shouting more rage
on my silent stage
death's final gauge.

Bette Mann doesn't exist.
The world's a lesser place
without her fierce resist.
We will never replace.

I took her cans to the curb
both the recycled and waste.
I tried quiet to not disturb,
she would know I'm *******.

She's granite old and fossilized.
She lived too **** long. She knew.
The doctor told her today.
It's cancer. She said so all along.
Her stage is set for her final act.
Her coach awaits stage left.

Thank God. I made it past the minute hand.
    It's after 10 and my soul is black as midnight.
    The snake hair girl never showed. It seems I'm
    always lost in wonderland. Up is down. The Red
    Queen holds court. I drink the best I can to
    stupid. We roar with laughter at stories told
    by Korky. We feast. We sing and candles blown out.
    I sleep in a cold bed dreaming warm of snake hair.

I bought an old clock
hung it on my wall
wound it up it ticked
my heartbeat after all
metronome of my life
tick tock Timbuktu.

I came of age on a cusp, staid or hippie.
I stood with a foot on each side as my
whole world cracked in 2 and I with it;
Down a rabbit hole, into a looking glass.
The world was at odds. Beer or ****? Acid?
Martini lunch? Suit or bell bottoms? Free
love? Married with kids? Free spirit?
Obligations? The hall of mirrors.
Head shrink. Find me in the looking glass.
Discover myself. Survive the between.

I came of age on a cusp, staid or hippie.
I stood with a foot on each side as my
whole world cracked in 2 and I with it;
Down a rabbit hole, into a looking glass.
The world was at odds. Beer or ****? Acid?
Martini lunch? Suit or bell bottoms? Free
love? Married with kids? Free spirit?
Obligations? The hall of mirrors.
Head shrink. Find me in the looking glass.
Discover myself. Survive the in between.

beware the dreamers
keep their souls
locked in chains

beware the workers
they will march in
unison to take a share

beware the lawyers
who set you on fire and
charge to **** on you

beware the poets
who seek purity
truth at all cost

beware the dreamers
keep their souls
locked in chains

beware the workers
they will march in
unison to take a share

beware the lawyers
who set you on fire and
charge to **** on you

beware the poets
who seek purity
truth at all cost

I outlived such penalties
that bring me shames' fines
or ugly looks in churches
where Jesus truly shines.
Old mad Bill still searches
for his lover in the mines.

Living in a Speck of Time

  I'm born and die inside a speck of time.
  Small minds will never see our universe.
  We will never see time and space beyond
  our own reach. We invent science pretend
  to know where we are in the grand scheme.
  We scribble math as if it solves problems.
  What is the meaning of life? Where's Waldo?
  He's behind a curtain acting like a wizard.

I sweep the leaves around the kitchen
into a pile. I'm dancing with the broom
Fred Astaire and Ginger Rodgers spinning
my mind a movie screen and soundtrack
echoes off the walls. We laugh and fall in
love. We drink between numbers. Big Band.

Husband, father, monster;
lover, protector, hangman.
War broke you into pieces
Always did best you can.

Loving and angry addicted
to speed from bomber flights
Back home 3 kids and wife
you lost your mind in fights.

Mom shut windows in heat
so no one heard you scream
you'd burn the anger out and
take us to the Dairy Queen.

I'm a beat up old dog.
My name is just Bill.
I think I'm 76 in your years.
I have stories ugly still.
I know cruelty and kindness.
I've had good luck and bad.
I've been with lovely *******
and some lost in eternal sad.
I'm just a bother in the way
they want to put me down
limping each painful day
hold me under 'til I drown.

Everything is currency
buy whatever you see
easy for you not to care
just another billionaire.
Have a little more fun.
  Charge us a fee for sun.
We pay you for breath.
    You rent graves at death.
         Subscription only accepted.
        Miss a payment be evicted.

Wearing a top hat and a straight
  jacket with a monocle and goatee.
  He owns everything like God does.
  Nobody will ever tell him different.
  He'll silence you and disappear you.
  He'll buy your friends and family.
  He'll define what's real and false.
  He's the man who bought the world.
  Our lives are in his cattle cars on
  our way to his indifferent endings.

Can you hear the mighty roar
of the angry noise of war?
UN troops go door to door.
Steal from rich. Give to poor.
Billionaires demand justice
not for them, but just for us.

BJ

first boy born
into your mad carnival
of French clowns and
angry war torn fathers
stern German granny and
carnival barkers who
promise salvation while
drunk strangers pass me
around like a flask
feeling almost full and
time just gets away from us
while years pass like seconds.

Some day I hope he sees
what everyone else sees
but now I'm on my knees
broken leg if you please.

A shout out to Bill Gates on
his philanthropic magic tricks
20% ROI African sterile vaccine
baptisms of fire black eugenics.