This old poet poses with his worn out lines.
     Tender poetry of youth and love's beginnings
     and faltering steps beyond puberty's uncertainty.

     I've pounded my love on typewriters, each letter
     has a part to play in this drama with a weight
     all its own. Smash a key and it opens old wounds.

     This beast is my heart demands fresh love.
     I find love again and again and again. Love.
     I see my final horizon. I see a lovely angel.

old enough
to know better
never old enough to
forget her pleasure
lost the map to it
the buried treasure
search my heart
for promised start
never find an X
no Eden's ***
no youth's excess
no more I confess
I broke all hearts
flame less bonfire
of the broken parts
screams of desire.

I go to sleep feeling dread
    in the morning I feel dead
    fog never lifts from my head
    I need Methadone to be fed
    I can't forget what she said
    Take the red pill instead.

Me and My Arrow

I swore you called me Dad
walking barefoot to the bar
with your brother Sean
and a ***** gallon jug
cheap beer in the jar.
saw The Point a delight
put you two in beds
kissed you night.

We had a perfect life
  in our snow globe. Every
  imperfection was erased
  how we chose our lives
  snow blinded us encased
  inside Currier and Ives.

We wore suicide vests
into our love nests.
Friends come and go
some fast some slow.
Drunk on your wine
everything was fine.

I keep scarring my heart
with scabs from my tears.
I keep playing my part
for too many years.

We've all gone crazy lately.
I don't wear a tie or cut my hair.
I smoked some hash and lost my
mind a little bit. Save me from
a world I don't recognize anymore.
I dress like a clown and eat drugs
to keep me up and down and level.
Friends are straight or hippies each
seeking their very own Nirvana and
I walk a tightrope above them both.

9th floor computer center with robots
  tending machines I met rebels like me.
  We were different in ways I never quite
  understood. We were rascals, thief's and
  honor bound to the broken fools we are.
  Benny boo and paper airplane contests
  and pillage the robber candy machine.
  We 3 night shifters kept our purity.

I'll hear your confession.

I'll tell you how to punish you,
wipe the sin side clean of bits and pieces
left when the corpse is buried.

a knock on my attic walk up
no good reason for a visit

I'm in arrears with child support.
I might join the Army if nothing else.
Maybe I'll believe in God and pray
for a miracle at bedtime on my knees.

I'll drink a 12 pack and smoke Lucky's
and read Peoples Almanac listening
to Beethoven and Holst.

We were young and beautiful.
     We tasted each other and feasted
     on our banquet. I smell you still
     I'm 73 and you're beside me in bed
     in dreams that are more alive
     than my daily crawling to death.

My arms are wrinkled linen
muscles betrayed me somehow
I have thin parchment skin
My face felt farmer's plow.

You weren't seen
in my blind spot
too old so young
perfect ink blot
no trouble at all
self absorbed dad
in and out of love
edge of mind mad.
I forgot to care
for the tattered
broken Daughter
always mattered.

The disaster took me by surprise. I never
  saw it coming. Madness piled on madness like
  a quilt made of patches of blown up skin.
  So much debris in the air we lost breath
  and went blind and called for our lost loves.
  We slept snug beneath the quiet aftermath.

God must be Irish.
He can't forget a slight.
He only sees darkness
never sees  the  light.

We nailed Jesus Christ
son of God to a cross.
Waiting for tribulation
for His heinous loss.

I'm a worn out old man.
I want to go back to Alcott
where the world was in a jar
and we were masters of the
woods. We knew the creeks and
lake and swung on vines Tarzan
like and ran home to supper and
homework and TV and slumber
and dad off to work at 5am hacking
in the bushes and off he went in
the flesh colored rocket ship that
was a a '57 Chevrolet Bel Air.

My life is not a page
full of pretty poetry
more like fire of rage
Hiroshima imagery
molten hearts boiled tears
flowers were never grown
countless wasted years
lives were never known.

It was on a cardboard sign
held by a hobo 5th and Vine.
Shame on the cars waiting
for the green lights hating.
No eye contact made
when I drive off you fade.
Was he in need or a fake?
Jesus heartbreak or a snake.

We live the lives we are assigned
  predestined inside God's giant book
  we walk our chapters weak and kind
  hoping to avoid death's horrid crook.
  The only ending is finally dying
  the body surrenders to God's demand
  never mind if only and but for trying
  sleep forever in the clay of our land.

Bomber shadow overhead
   to shelters rue the day
   we forgot our lost dead,
   fear black bird of prey.

   Pregnant with fire death
   steal your air and laugh
   as you die seeking breath
   think of that photograph.

insane love is the best love
you fight yourselves to death
then **** yourselves to life
your kiss is your first breath.

We poets are witnesses to history
as it unfolds before us and most
people don't hear the banging of
drums or the joy of children laughing.
We write our feelings. Most of us feel
too much and suffer because of it
but we are driven to record the
tears and fears and bombs exploding
and screaming of men in trenches  as
they lose limbs or lives. We spell it
out in poems. We offer our souls
to the mob and fear they eat it.

8 Ducklings through Mom
are enough to astound.
6 Alcott Lane, Greenhills.
Winton Woods playground.
Christmas Terry loved a TV
I loved Beach boy record
Kevin loved math books
we shared Umbilical Cord.

12 monkeys stole an election
in the greatest country yet!
Soros was richer than God so
he bribed monkeys everywhere
to turn keys and throw feces. He
erased religion. He replaced god with
small jealous men with small *****,
huge egos and armies of useful idiots
      propagandizing for a cause without fully
comprehending the cause's goals  who
is/are* cynically used by the cause's leaders.
Vote for Her ****** to bury Capitalism.

*Which is it? Extra points for correct answer.

Just when I think I'm a real poet,
I find my very own poet laureate.
The Poetic Nicole is the blinding
light we'd all do well to emulate.

They tried to break me.
I kept spitting out the bit.
You can't tame the righteous  
Fire burned my spirit.
Wedding bands won't
shackle me like chains
I buck and snort and rebel
burn you with my flames.

On cool back burner
resentment simmers
love turns to black
hatred for dinners.

I had a room in a garret.
She had a room without heat.
We had holes in our hearts.
I called her from a phone booth
and went to her cold bed. We
pretended love and slept warm.

The summer of love broke vows and
choked promises from our throats.
I grew my hair and quit robot jobs.
I wore carpenter jeans and earth shoes.
I ****** and called it love and loved
and called it *******. I always leave.

Activities on Death Row,
there's always room to grow,
AA, therapy and anger management.
How to share a small apartment.
It's a day too late it seems to me
hangmen never understood irony.

Cold beds hot hearts
neglected garden dies
Hot hearts hot beds
Eden's garden thrives.

I set it on fire and burned
it back into hell to sleep
another decade or two
you said something that
was really important.
I never heard you above
the screams and hatred
I'm on the outside again.
Armageddon.

She left me a long time ago.
  I found her ****** in a crack
  under the bed overlooked cargo.
  If I knew where I'd send 'em back.

Night defeats the sun,
    hangs a pale imposter
    in its own sky
    to wax and wane
    and woo young lovers
    under the boardwalk.
  
    Lust ebbs and flows.
    Our tide was high.
    Our moon enormous
    balanced on the horizon.
    Reach out and touch it and
    be reborn with me tonight.

Our lust
betrays trust
destroys love
at the cost of
broke children
a mortal sin
nowhere to hide
suicidal bride
****** Mother Mary
suckles us sinners
while we are buried
beneath our married.

I'm a blind man without a sun.
We live in different mirrors.
You have light for everyone.
I am where is what disappears.

I travel forever to the end of time
leave a stop watch inside this rhyme
a second left to create one more life
aborted by mom with a kitchen knife.

You and I aren't that different.
  I'm insecure and missed love's touch
  fighting ghost's dying while I dream.
  Am I breaking my own heart as such?
  I'll be your dancing monkey if you want.
  I promise you I will break every mirror
  too honest with your reflection as it is
  hovering near your worst nightmare fear.

I screamed insanity
to set myself free
parked the UHaul
in the proper stall
checked in the hotel
in the city of angels
on our way to paradise
dreams are too fragile
she refused to go away
we drove another day.

I will feel your lips
send me on my way
beyond life's blips
and the day to day.

Our absolute truth reveals itself
in a pale blue translucent light
in our dreams. We can't see it in
naked light of day. Like staring
at the sun it would blind us and
truth stripped bare is horrible.

Some day I hope he sees
what everyone else sees
but now I'm on my knees
broken leg if you please.

Stay high tonight
under anger's flight
crash by morn's light
bruises seem slight.
My hands just claws
hang from your jaws
dripping my flaws
the crowds applause.

Men all learn to lie
Women learn to cry
shrinks learn why
soldiers learn to die
angels learn to fly
we all say goodbye

There's always talk
in costumes on stage
of innocence and guilt
I'll live in your cage
of my rage you built.
We bow and turn a page.

The sky's so clear
  in the atmosphere
  stars perch on a tree
  caged birds set free
  my mind takes flight
  into the cold night
  when I just can't feel
  what's dream or real
  my dogs walk me home
I sleep and dream alone.

The caged bird sings!
Such a wonderful song
to wake to begin the day.
She is screaming for her
freedom from the cage.
I scream from my perch
in this zoo of houses and
neighbors and weight on
me to provide and be king
with all the answers for you.

2 lost souls met at Rugby's and
  crawled into each others heart.
  We loved 3 days and rose again
  into Southern light's fresh start.

I'm riding bulls in bars outside my mind
before I fell in love with the rest
of them everyone these days if only
you knew my heart, the damage I carry in
my psyche like a pouch of Judas silver.
Betray me with just one more kiss.
You're the voice inside my head
that one I'll finally always miss.

Anybody ever understand me?
I try to make a point but silent
stares fill me with terror. Do they
hate me or am I on fire naked?
I have equations to prove my point.
Einstein agrees with my logic and
if the sun dies in the blink of an eye
we have 8 minutes to say goodbye.