A beautiful Spring Monday
with lilies dancing in the sun
with the melodies of the bees chanting
like happy feets in the musical concert

The butterflies roaming around
wearing their colourful clothing
which they cannot see
yet the world can

It looks overwhelming,
you should see the view

There is this sadness,
I haven't felt in a minute,
It feels as though blood is dripping,
out of my heart
And my eyes are drowning,
in the deepest ocean
Once again today,
I'm not strong,
I found weakness within my sadness...

Of what once was called love,
The enigmatic intimacy
sparkling as diamonds
Ocean blue as violets,
Look, it doesn't look red as Roses anymore

Flashback sails within the galaxy
As clouds journeys within the sky
Grief has taken over the dance
And happy feet seem to find no rhythm
In the end all withered, like flowers it did

You vowed lifetime
Yet you gave half of the time

You strategized our alleviation
Within the face of the universe
If I could stroll the heaven with you
Yet you vanished, all alone
And captured half of my heart

Split second on the clock
Ticking and ticking soundlessly
To forecast we are running against time
Maybe I would have mastered to let go

But look, the enemy of mankind,
Like a rushing mighty wind came
And grab you within a blink of an eye
And left my heart bleeding
Oh let this God see through this pain,
That I feel entitled to ask "why"
As He effectuated a cryptic pierce within thine heart,
Yet you are stronger up there than you could ever be in here

The execution take place without our Will,
Yes! No! Steadfast or not,
The Angel shows no compassion.

You board the train already geared to take off,
With no alert who will be getting off from here,
You or the passenger next to you!

My heart desires
had always been to grow old with you,
Little did I know that life had already chosen my fate

That I'll remain alone as a motherless child,
And learn to find wings to fly out of my brokenness,
As I stand tall as the stick

My heart desires is no longer out of  choice,
It's either I stay and be consumed or I rise and conquer

Sometimes I dive in the ocean I'm unable to swim,
Too deep and three hundred and sixty degree freezing,
A trauma on its own right?

Well, I drown while wearing my smiling face,
with no one to pull me up,
but a pen and a piece of a paper.

I wish to marry a poet
Who will pen me down
In such a magnificent way
And make me drown
In the ocean of his words all day

I wish to marry a poet
Whom the theory of his ink
Will channel him to find inspiration in me
As I turn him on through each wink
Like the universe belong to him and his rhyme

I wish to marry a poet
Who will turn our love story
Into a fairytale triangle
Like a startling light of the glory
Shining bright like a candle

When she hold on in a breaking moment
Through emotions no one would understand,
It is Him

When she lays down under the tears of heaven
That ushers tears on her eyes
To the glimpse of heaven,
It is Him

When she think she is healing
Then in between breaks down
Yet never gives up,
It is Him

That uphold her hand
Capture her heart
And never let go,
It is God

Put on her shield
Raise the double-edged sword
Placed within the palm of her hand
Just like Moses she will lead

Clothed with piety
Take on the sling, put on stones
Mouth full of praises
Like David she will subdue

A warrior of exactitude
Rising against the Amorite
Full of dispute
To authenticate

Possessing like Joshua
Dominating like Judah
And birthing new creation like Mary
For she is of Jesus Nation

Faith, Hope, love,
Laughter, smile,
Even ray of sunshine,
I had it all

Until the clouds beat the drums,
And uncertainty arose,
I lost it all
Yet I once had it all

is when the pain within my wounds
deepens,
yet I choose nor death neither life,

I just aspire to be OKAY!

Worthless and rejected
As your servant Joseph
Yet you carried me through

Discouraged and weary
As your beloved David
Yet you held me close

While the world convinced me
I wasn't meant to be loved
Unconditional love you showed me

I came with nothing
As empty as the sky
Dispirited like a sheep without a shepherd
Yet I became your everything, Daddy!!

Trying to make calculations of it all,
Nothing seems to make sense
Everything is just shackles of glasses,
Where it is forever new,
Feels like there is nothing to look forward to

Others grieve their loved ones,
Others have no meal to share amongst each other,
But others have, Yet with no one to share it with,
Others tries to keep it together,
Yet it feels like it doesn't wanna be kept

Lord, we are so empty,
So is this Christmas...

Till our eyes were ocean deep in the red sea
God knows we prayed
Till our bodies could no longer race against our heartbeat
God knows we prayed for you
Stood in the gap for the life of an amicable soul
As if we had the supernaturals to stop the universe
But still you said, "I wanna go home"

Courageous Ella
Full of cheeky laugh
Unexplainable aurora
I watched you ride beneath a new born sun
Just like horses embarking on a rote of new Jerusalem
That we are all set to paddle upon one of the good days
When time begin to run against the clock

One beautiful morning
God called you to stroll the heaven with him
Held your hand to let you smell the roses full of life
And danced through the melodies only played in heaven
I can picture you looking at your mommy and your daddy
Whispering "I love you but I wanna go home,
Tell Raphaella she'll never be alone, I'm now her angel"
Basking into the arms of the Father wearing crown of victory

Whether it proceeded
A day before
An hour after
A minute ahead off
Or even a second prior to
Still its considered the chronicle

Even if memories were pioneered
To never fade away
Imminently
It all becomes blurry
Transformed into past

He took my hand
Lead me to his bed
And I trusted him

Gave me sweets
Let me sit on his lap
And I smiled

He started to unbuttoned my dress
Touching my small rounded babies
Stroking my lips
While my smile faded

I tried holding on to my dress
Tears threatening my eyes
While looking through his eyes
As he turned into a monster

He continued to tore it into pieces
Rushing to take the underwear off
And finally I'm naked before him
As he bite his lip off now and then

Pushing me to the bed
Thrushing his ****
In and out of my well
Breathing heavily on top of me
Busy satisfying his quench

While I bled and bled
Staining his sheets
While he stained my heart
And took away my innocence
Maybe I didn't tell him to stop

I acknowledge you,
I feel your presence,

Just one request,
Please, don't stay forever.

As I dine here
In this lonely nights
beside my shadow
All alone full of thoughts

Fixing these eyes
through the sunset
that keeps deeming
and deeming deep to the west
overshadowing this tiny light
Shining through thee hour glass

I dine here
drowned from this rain
of this thunder, this storm
Feeling weary and worn-out
While the sunrise lies
within the locked palm of thyne hand

I miss her
The one who used to smile
Blush over tiny things over and over again
And chuckle over the sound of her laughter

I miss her
The one who used to own happiness
Roaming around the colourful butterflies
Until she could feel butterflies in her tummy

I miss her
Young girl full of impossible dreams
That kept her day dreaming throughout the day
Whereas they were just fairytale that kept her faith

I miss her
Who didn't think of tomorrow
Just taking the day as it came
Allowing herself to breath

I miss me
Not this one full of endless thoughts
Which are drying up her bones
Who carry the universe on her shoulders

Eyes wide open like a bulb
Shining through the night
Yet love makes us blind

This morning he gave me the longest hug of them all
Looked me in the eyes with his shining blue eyes
Tears escaping before he could utter these three words
"I love you" while handing me this box
Beautifully wrapped a million times with colour of love

You should have seen me overwhelmed
Kissing his cheeks with the box in my hands
Smile widely spread eagerly rushing to see what is inside
Could it be chocolate, a card, a teddy bear maybe
I kept on guessing while my hands kept digging

There was nothing huge inside but a piece of a paper
I looked confused while going through it
But the paper read "My heart couldn't fit
On that box, that's where I carry you with me each day.
Be my valentine once more and let me love you for eternity"

Lying there helpless
Heart beating against the clock
Drowning on the pool of his blood

A lighter in their hands
Burning sensation within them
Blink of an eye, already inhaling smoke
Its flame, flame and flame after flame

Laboratory, hospitals in flames
Coffins in the middle of the roads
Corpses decomposing in houses
"Brown is brainless" they say

I close my ears
To the sound of each trigger
As I say a silent prayer
"God, preservation of life"

Smell peace for the last time
As white swivel to red
Then red to ashes
Back to before 1994, I long to see freedom

Because our nation is burning

Behind every smile of hers
Lies invisible bleed
Bleeding through internally
Yet it is covered with a smirk

Of every echo of her enchanting
Chuckle that abscond
Through her lips
Lies a fractured psyche
And there is a tear everytime that she blink

There lies a lifeless soul
with fractured pieces
Like a decrypted case
That keeps her mourning
Throughout the evening dawn
Yet too occupied to survey

If time was on our hand
Like the sand in an hour glass
Why would we still break when we band?
Or be in precipitousness in case it lapse?
I'll be moving like a tortoise till I land
While detaining power of beauty that surpass
The possessive nature which place us in demand

Migration of stars and the moon
Dancing around in circle like lovers do
Doesn't look titillating without you

We all have days
Full of smiles
Where we stare through the rising of the sun
And lazing around through the warmth of the sunset
As we dance through the movement of the blue moon
And count the stars as they appear

We all have days
Full of uncertainty
Where the sun no longer shines through our windows
And we just stare through the walls full of darkness
Wishing if those walls could talk just once
And listen to the dance of thunders within thy heart

Many years ago
On this very day
God allowed you
To share your loudest cry
Turning into a contagious smile

A visionary
A lover
A mother
Who even lost one of her breed
I call you a general with scars

Here I am
With the pen in my palm
Strolling smoothly like a silk cloth
Yet I thought the ink would be dry
But how will it dry on a special day,
When the poet only release what is buried deep inside?

I took the photo album out today
Of what we call our frozen memories,
I hold dear to my heart
How I wish I got to hold you forever,
not just these pieces of papers in my hand

Sometimes I hide behind my smile
Sometimes I find a corner and just let it rain
Yet you taught me that every that I misses you,
I must look up in the sky
But there is a tear everytime that I blink
And sometimes I go insane,
neither lose myself when the emotions weighs up

I realized I'm not strong enough when I miss you,
Oh I'm engraved forever...

Once upon a time
She found a companion
Who permitted her to sail
Within the pool of his heart,
Became the beats on his lips
Forever and a lifetime
Yet he made her parade
On fractured glasses
As she pick the share of her scars