Fell head over heel in love,
I'm telling you I did
Gave him my heart,
as well as my being,
I dedicated all to him
Talking about the oxygen I breath,
he was that kind of oxygen that gave me life
Let go of my dreams,
to accommodate something which was never mine

Talking about life with no guarantee,
he left me within a blink of an eye
"I've found someone else" he said
I smiled with so much heartache,
as if I can hear him say he's bluffing,
He bended to kiss my forehead,
as if its not the last time I smell this cologne,
I introduced him to and say
"I wish you the best"
He left me with nothing,
while I gave him everything
Talking about life with no guarantee

Fell head over heels,
never with the accent of a human being,
but she was smitten with her passion
Her passion was her heart,
as long as her heart keep pumping with so much passion,
so was her precious passion towards life

I'm not a story teller,
but given an opportunity I'll tell you a tale
Depression got better of her
and frustration dined at the palm of her hands
The desire of escaping these traumatic experience was there,
but she was trapped for her dear life
Like river Jordan flowing with powers,
so was her tears that never ran dry
And at that moment the rope became her solution,
to eliminate the pain she felt on the inside
Because the visible smile of the invisible brokenness,
could not be patched

She wanted to live I'm telling you,
but she was tired of holding on
Depression took it all away from her,
with no mercy,
and her soul and her mind betrayed her as well

As an introvert
kind of a person,
I say less
and write more
Because words come to me
and demand to be written

I tried
to live on my own
cause I thought
I didn't need anybody,
on my own I could manage
I thought I didn't need grace
as well as mercy,
believing they are things of the ancient times
Incriminating myself at this moment,
self sufficient, no success
Till I went as I am before the creater and said,
any moment as desired,
as a vessel, use me
as an offering, myself, I offer,
as you desire, I am here
I'll avail myself as your sacrifice,
because in you I found a hiding place
Candidate of your mercy,
is who I am
Beneficiary of your grace,
is what I got awarded with

When I take a glance at thyself,
surely God has put an extra essence for such beauty
The flawless radiance of thy skin,
that even flies cannot dare to touch,
in surrender of thy beauty,
is exquisite
Even if she can choose a thing to vow on her beauty,
not even a human being words,
can be of a sentimental vaue,
only the heart can define such
She is beautiful,
even the book of song of songs were written,
in the fascination of her beauty

In this rainy day,
where everything is uncertain,
and storms keep shutting the open doors,
tell me I'll be alright
I've been soaked,
in the ocean of this tears that refuse to stop,
in these dark holes that keep shutting down on me,
tell me I'll be alright

I have hope,
that I can see the rise of a rainbow,
the sunset in the direction of the east,
if only you can tell me I'll be alright

Dear our Father who art in heaven
during this pandemic,
where our eyes don't dry of tears,
where fear eat at the palm of our hands,
and there is grinding of teeth,
Believe me when I say,
I wish I can long for money,
but at this moment I don't
Believe me also when I say,
I wish I can long for materialistic things,
but they all don't matter but life do
Rich, poor, you name it,
we are only after two things,
which is life and peace of mind,
The preservation of our lives,
as well as of our family and friends,
is all we long for Dear God

There I was,
lying next to him,
as he lied underneath my head
feeling all kind of warmth of his chest,
vulnerable on each others arms,
feeling the softness of both our skin,
I took a blink,
because all to me was like a dream,
a dream that I don't ever wanna wake up,
Slow like the movement of a tortoise,
I open my eyes to check if I'm not dreaming
And there I was,
not dreaming but brimming with love

Heartache can fade,
Dreams can fade,
Hope can be lost,
so as faith
But the love of ink,
in the piece of a paper,
can never fade away
My diary and my pen got my back

Birthed me,
nursed me,
trained me,
And most of all you loved me

to the womb that became my home for 9 months,
to the arms that never grew weary for years,
to the chest that turned my pillow for decade,
to the back that forever bended for me to find a comfort place of sleep,
and to the lap I'll never outgrow for,
I raise my fist up there in the sky to say,
Thank you

Shhh Listen,
to the beautiful sound of these lilies,
Listen attentively
to the sweet melodies they are making,
They are blossoming,
just like a morning sunrise
They are glowing,
like a colorful butterfly in the Spring season
Just as the human need oxygen, water I'll give them,
as I dine in their shadow and lend them an ear
these dozen bunch of my  lilies

Back to the cell
Where I long for freedom
and a breeze of a sunlight
and to be excused of unjustified doings I did

But at this moment,
none of it matter than the hunger that I feel
But the thing that can only quench it seems unreachable,
just like the key that defines my freedom
As the the sky is the limit,
so is my strength to getting the bread of life

To the key of freedom,
I stretched not my hand
But to the bread that sustain life,
I stretched out my hand to have a piece of it
The bread of life that shall keep me alive

Go ahead and blame him,
blame him for eliminating the pain he was feeling,
blame him for ending the emptiness he was feeling,
"He took the easy way out" they say,
but he chose life didn't he?

Sorrow after sorrow,
grief after grief,
Don't you think this burden was just too much?
too much for him to carry on his shoulders?
He only wanted life of no sorrow,
that is why he took his own life

To the unsettled world
where dreams are mostly shattered,
and plans mostly fail to make it to reality
Where victories are never guaranteed,
and faith is the only thing you try to hold on to,
I hope my prayers are made valid

To the love I desired,
and to the rejection I got
To the appointment I set,
and to the disappointment I failed to have control upon
To the weakness that made me shiver through down my spine,
as if I was never strong enough to do it my own

Through the bleeding heart,
which can never be cut into pieces
Through thee knock down,
which can never be turned into knock out
I have been made strong

Into thy belly,
she was deposited
Into thy heart,
she was positioned
In the midst of hopeless circumstances,
she yearned to find aspiration,
and aspiration was placed in the life of her unborn

Into thy unsettled earth,
she was birthed full of life
Into her mama's warm chest,
she found her pillow to rest,
uncertain of the obligation she ought to fulfil
To the unfulfilled destiny,
she was obliged to fulfil it
And She named her HOPE,
in faith that with her wings resting upon her unseen power,
she will forever desire to fly high and fulfil what couldn't be fulfilled

I was never ready,
ready to give him my heart
I was never ready,
ready for the lost keys of my heart to be found
I buried them, too deep

But thyne heart decided to betray thee,
and open doors which faith was lost upon
With tremble and fear she fell,
and to the hands like strong tower she landed
Just like a fairytale romance, so was her love story

Stabbed a million times with a butcher knife,
you still stand
You still stand when the doors you only knew,
are closing up on you and the don't seem to be a way out

Broken down a thousand times,
with a feeling that you can rise no more
but just like waves rising up I'll rise
Even waves sometimes don't rise under certain circumstances,
but at the right time they rise

He is the I am,
He is the truth,
truth that bring eternal life
He is the way,
way which lead to everlasting life,
life that knows no end even in the afterlife

Who is he that He says He is,
that Some calls Him teacher?
Some calls Him Rabbi?
and Some say He is Messiah?
He is who said that through Him,
you shall see the father

He loved,
but in the process,
He got Broken beyond repair
Cried himself to sleep,
with the hope that the pain will ease

Brand new day came, so bright,
but pain blinded his heart,
and all he could see was darkness,
darkness he lost faith upon
And he promised to never love again

Can you see this darkness,
darkness that is buried within her soul?
Can you feel this heaviness,
this heaviness that is blinding thy heart?
Can you sense this emptiness,
this emptiness that is making her soul to wonder?

She just wanna be free,
free of this undescribable feeling,
free from this undefinable feeling,
free out of this unpleasant chapter,
the chapter that brought sorrow and grief

Can you hear the sound?
the sound of the lilies,
blossoming in the morning sunrise
Can you smell the aroma?
the aroma that carries the accent,
of a beautified chains of life

It is the coat of many colours,
that when the other colourful side has reached the very end,
the reverse of it find wings to fly the unseen colours of its own,
and turns Hopeless into Hopeful,
I call it the rainbow of undefined definable destinies

My Africa, My Home
In the sky I raise my fist,
From beneath I bow my head,
to the motherland that carries our spirit,
to the homeland of liberty and peace
I am an African

I wear my colourful clothing,
with dignity and humility
They call them bracelets, with bold voice,
I say these are beads of life and purification,
My identity

I am an African,
And Africa is my home

It still feel like yesterday,
when I held you in my arms,
and never wanted to let you go
You were mine, I was yours
Till thee wheel falls off,
and Forever and always

The scariest Beast, unexpected came,
came like rushing mighty wind,
and took you without saying goodbye
I moan and groan till I fail to stand on my own,
just like the lilies I withered,
and half of thy heart never ressurected from thy odeal
I felt the wreath of its anger,
but never with disconnection of saying GOODNIGHT

You taught me insecurity,
You taught me that my emotions,
are meaningless and unworthy
You taught me that women don't cry,
but the salty water have stained my heart

You left me with scars,
Scars that I'm never afraid to show,
Scars that have become my stepping stone to greatness
My wings have been mended again,
I'm learning to fly on my own

I thought and thought
Thought that pain,
is like a flower
A flower that wither when its not watered,
A flower that lose essence when its not nursed,
But pain never wither,
like stain it stays right in your heart
Bit by bit leaving emptiness at thy precious soul

Your lust for me,
I confused it with love
Mishandling of me I thought it was love,
turned out to be the biggest scar acquired by my heart
The tears I shared in your care,
I loved you still in believe that you'll learn to love me

Tears dried
Feelings died
The heart got Broken beyond repair
And the warmth of your chest got colder and colder
All because I thought it was love,
Love which was never Enough

Loving you has always been more than breathing to me
If I take a wink and never breath again,
our love has hit the very end of our journey here on Earth
But as I cross to thee other side I'll be loving you still

My love for you keep my heart beating like a sweet melody,
that keep playing at the back of my mind with no ending
Even if the genre of the music changes,
my heart forever hold the sound of the melody we created
And till eternity I'll be loving you still

He is Quarantined on thee other side
Whereas she is Isolated on the side of the sea
But feeling of them missing each other is so deep,
deep than the depth of an ocean
Holding on the beautified love they share
but the world going beyond to keep them apart

He is her knight in shining amour
She is his strength to keep going on
And the Father being a rope,
Surely their love will never wither,
unlike an unwatered flower that withers and die

When she's happy,
she writes
When she's sad,
she writes
When she's hurt,
she writes
When she misses,
she writes
When there is no wink of sleep in the middle of the night,
she still get in touch with her ink and a paper

She has found her hiding palace,
in the hands of her beautiful black diary
She has found comfort,
in the fascinating creation of her pen
That exquisite glance she get everytime she get in touch with her writings,
gives her a new breeze out of nature
The feeling of having to express her feeling without judgement,
gives her new outlook on life
Words are her chariots
Inks are her swords
Writting is the stain in her veins

All I needed was to see the fascinating creation of thee earth,
but you never saw it worthy for me to experience it all
All I wanted was to ride beneath a new born sun with you,
but you failed to see the future ahead of your imagination
Thee cruelty of thee earth you thought I was never ready for,
could have been my very own strength to make you hold on

I'm before your presence with an apologetic heart,
that you got blinded by sorrow and failed to see my worth
I'm sorry mama, Sorry...
that you never saw your chest worthy as my perfect pillow
Into thy womb you commanded my spirit
And back to the creator you placed me

I am not my brokenness
Yes I was broken in such a way,
that when I took a glance at thyself
I failed to recognize thyself
I am not my brokenness

They misjudged my brokenness
and reversed it into bitterness,
I was not bitter
It was just a cry of a broken soul
that they failed to recognize but rather level it as weakness
I am not my brokenness

If silence tears were a portion of a million,
at this moment I could have been labelled as one
If they were an ocean full of blessings,
at this very moment my name could have been Abraham
If they were a dwelling palace,
It could have been at the very right hand of the father
I am not my brokenness neither my silent tears

Perfect people for perfect family
Perfect family for perfect internal peace
Internal peace leading to everlasting joy
Only to find out that everlasting joy don't last forever
Its only a matter of time before its all gone in vein
Yet we think we never deserved it all

Why do this kind of love gives us false hope,
As if we can stay like this forever?
Why do happiness come and mislead us,
whereas it is gonna depart from us within a blink of an eye?
It is all pain pain pain and pain again
It is all tears tears tears and tears again,
Until shedding our tears becomes a daily bread

Daddy's name is called pain,
we find a hiding place in him no more, and lost a long of belonging
Mommy's name is courageous no more but lonely,
that bright smile I used to wake up to in the morning its all gone and buried
that sweet warm hug I used to get before I went to bed,
has turned out to be the coldest planet within her arms
And they named me sorrow,
because bitterness dine at the palm of my hands and I am angry,
angry at the world where I feel suffocation of every second

Perfect family for who? Perfect peace for who?
Its all down the drain because of this man called pain!