I lost my daydreams for a while.
The bounce, the charm, the myrth, the smile.
All locked within the sleeping child
That I buried deep in the wild.

And yet, my fantasies resumed.
The undecayed body exhumed.
My girlhood rose from her repose,
The bright side of life to expose.

i write sad poems
but the truth is,
sadness is nothing like poetry
and mental illness is nothing like the movies
there is no beauty to be found here
no elegance in self destruction
no metaphor in depression
no art in this love
and they all leave once they see that
they can't heal me, nothing can
and there is nothing pretty
about the things i do
so don't look back
go somewhere else
be happy.

"He loves me," I sigh,
before I pick the petal.
"H-he loves me not..."

You call me your goddess.
That I rule over all that
is intelligent and beautiful
You never hesitate to
put me up on a podium
and praise me for my qualities

And how did I earn this position?
By being myself.
He doesn't force me to change,
he doesn't even want me to change

I wish everybody could be like that.
That instead of setting the bar high and
having expectations for others,
that we can give each other more hugs
and congratulate one another.

That everybody can have somebody in their lives
that lifts them up instead of puts them down.
That makes them feel like just as much as a goddess
as my boyfriend makes me feel.

I've always kept my jealousy
locked in a box within my heart,
and since the day we started dating
only I've held the key.

My jealousy innocently simmers
inside like a *** of water,
but explodes red-hot like
the lava inside a volcano
if put under pressure

I wish I could let you open up my little box
and let you see the real root of my jealousy.
Let you see that buried underneath my smile
lies a deep, etched frown.

But I know you wouldn't understand.
You see me as strong and as cast-iron hard
as the box encased around my heart.
You would break if you saw
your sturdy rock crumble.

So instead I'll shut my little box
and throw away the key,
in hopes that if I bury these feelings
deep enough inside of me
I'll forget they ever existed
in the first place.