Leave
Stop coming back
I said goodbye and I meant it .
I can’t stand seeing you without crying.
All the memories are still with me.
I try to kick them out but it’s stuck on replay.
I listen to the text messages when I sleep,
I guess I just wanted you to stay
I close my eyes and hope it this was all a nightmare.
I wake up and he’s not next to me.

I’m gone
The happiness left.
All that is left is saddens.
Here the birds singing,
Telling me to run.
I asked where they said anywhere your mind is coming.
Why i am running from my own mind?
I must be my worst friend.
Help me please! I need to run!
I heard a girl telling me to follow her, I do.
Oh no it was my Brain.
Please help me escape
I can’t stay here. It will **** me.
I will wait it’s been 3 years, I can wait another day.

I don’t want to die
I also don’t want to live in fear of my life.
Everyday hoping not to give in to the devil
Thinking life it's better just to be blindsided.
Where are you?
I was with you from the start now I’m talking to the walls.
Hoping someone will hear my screams
No one ever does.
It's been three years since I last smiled.
Once again where are you?
I never gave up even when I was on the edge.
I guess love isn’t strong enough,
Now I stand on the bridge
Hoping to find met up for once.
Do you want me? I will give you my life.
Please I need you.

I'm not used to crying for missing people.
This year my eyes are filled with tears for saying goodbyes to those I love.
I know we will talk again.
When we meet as strangers,
The memories that will be stories for new friends.
Keeping all photos hidden deep close to me.
Making sure I never forget what you mean to me.

I can’t look anymore,
All I see is mistakes of letting her go.
She wanted me to fight ,
I gave up after the first glare.
I didn’t want to be broken so I destroyed her instead.
She loved me but I didn’t want my feelings on the line.
Now I want her back.
Now I cry and she glows.

The light grows brighter,
When the darkness starts to fade.
Hold on for another day,
I will hold you tight until the sun rises.

The first time
I feel my heart being fixed
The pain finally goes away.
I can finally see the sunshine
It’s still far away but in view.
I want to be free of the memories
Hoping it will just be history.

If I just go, would you follow me?
If I go for a ride, would you join?
I want to believe you won’t leave me.
I think that you still care, but I think all a lie.
I want you to stay with me.
I want you to care if I was done.
I miss the old days, but you changed.
You don’t care about me as you used too.
I’m just awaiting piece ready for the next move.
Please just come back to me.
I still care.

Please hold me tight and don’t let go.
I love him so much, but sadly it’s a horror movie.
He says I love you one second but doesn’t mean the next.
I scream, and he smiles.
I run, and he follows.
I wish this were all nightmare
Instead, it’s my reality.
I love him, but now I don’t.
One day I thought he would be my last.
Now I’m praying for the day he leaves.
All my friends think he the angel here to save me.
He’s just the devil waiting for me to give up.

Are you leaving me for her?
What did I do to deserve this?
That’s the last things I said to him.
He left me for another, I hope she is better.
Does she know The way you laugh at little things?
I hope she treats you better then me.
This better work out because you lost me, the day you picked her over me.
The day you left me crying on your bed.
I thought you were my end game but now I’m watching your Twitter for updates.
Please tell me it was worth it.
Please tell me this wasn’t for nothing

I miss her,
She was the snowflakes on a boring day.
Her laugh is buzzing to an angled ear.
The good days felt like a dream that could last forever.
The bad days ended up in hell, used as Torture for the crazy.
I screamed waiting for the nightmare to end
Only finding out that it just started.
My life played on a jumbo screen thinking each second will be my last.
She said I love you.
I said I love you too.
But is this love, fearing for the bad days
And missing the good?

Watch me move.
Watch me lie,
Watch me live.
I will show you, love, unlike you did to me.
I need to let you go.
You held me down too long.
Never meeting halfway,
Come to me or leave.
My love isn’t strong enough for the both of us.

I get closer to the end,
I see the monsters calling me in.
I say no and stand my ground, how long will this be.
When will I give in? It’s disguise as free will and laughs.
It's hidden behind good times and no regret.
The truth is saddening family members and goodbye notes.
It’s crying friends and new stories.
Attention wannabe hide lies and rumors
The monsters seem nice, why not say hi?

My window
I look outside the same window,
Wondering if anything will change.
Will the flowers finally grow today?
I look at it one time, seeing the snowfall on the ground.
Realizing the start of winter finally happened.
I closed my eyes for a minute, and the snow was gone again.
It all started with a little sadness but ended back with summer nights.
We take four seasons for Granted.
One day everything will be different.
There will be no going back.
Today I looked outside my window one more time.

Luisina.
Where did she go?
I only see her in my dreams late at night,
When everyone is gone.
What if she is make believe?
My mind is on over drive trying to find her.
The thoughts are talking over that she won't back to say goodbye.
I want to hold her one more night.
To tell her"I love you Luisina".
Before she disappears on me.
I think it's too late.
My love won't leave like she did.

Give me time
I’m not over you.
This all just happen, stop asking me to be friends.
All I can say is give me a break.
I see you can move on. I loved you.
I guess you never did.
It’s been a year
I guess I’m just an old movie playing in the back of your mind.
Repaying on your bad days
But forgetting me on the good.
I wish this could change.
I can’t
I just can’t.

Time for the same poem about the same things.
The right girl or the wrong boy.
The depression sad ones to make us cry.
Wanna be writers like me trying to make it.
All using the same topics but only some get  notice.
We are playing the same game in a small world.

All the lost time is catching up with me.
I wish I didn’t leave her,
I lost my first love.
I see her happy with a different boy.
All the new inside jokes and laughs,
That should me.
I should be holding her tight
Please forgive me
I can’t take this pain anymore.

When boys take my heart, they leave in a million pieces.
Everyone says be Straight forward, but no one ever takes about this.
When you spend a few months playing with someone’s heart, but no one wants it back.
They all say get over it. He was nothing to you anyway. They don’t understand that I was falling in love with him.
I thought he felt the same way, but no one ever does.
I will still text him every day, hoping he changes his answer.

Hello,
Are you there.
Wasting time on someone who doesn't even care for me.
Who only wants the attention until someone new comes around.
It took him a year to finally tell me what his Plan was.
Some how it was my fault for falling in the trap.
At least my heart can heal but not the same for my trust .

Days are getting longer
Her voice is getting softer.
My friends tried to warn me
I didn’t listen.
My heart got too attached. Now it’s paying the price.
She left me, but now it is back.
I want to see her what if she leaves again?
My heart is not ready yet.

My first love
He was my first love.
The way he made me laugh was filled with 100 smiles.
I couldn’t get enough of his calming voice, it always made my day.
Then things took a turn.
The goodnight text disappeared,
I was blind sided by love to see it.
To see the ending of our love.
I wished my love was strong enough for two, it never came close to your hateful words.
I loved you turned into ways to shut me up. I shouldn’t of trusted love at first sight.

Is this love?
Fearing for the dark spot
Getting used to screaming sounding like music.
Hoping one day all of this will be gone.
He said he loved me.
Isn’t that enough?
The words are covered in lost love.
I love you, is turning into an empty lie
This is no dream just too tired to start over.
Wishing for the past to come back.

How can he dislike everyone but act happy all the time?
The smile is always there but means words come across his mouth like a loaded gun.
Always talking about how he wants to leave but stays for some reason.

The wind got louder
Whispers started to fade
Like the love we once had.
I look at the pictures and wonder why I can’t remember any of this.
My mind is going insane trying to put the pieces together.
Was this really love?
All I feel is Emptiness when thinking of you.
Please help me Figure this out.

I love Him i do
I'm scared for the future
I put my heart the line and got hurt.
I couldn’t listen to the song from our first kiss.
I’m putting my trust in your hands.
He hurt me once, I believe we are end game.
I want a future with him but what if doesn’t  he want me back.
I have seen the way my dad ripped out girls hearts like a Game.
I’m sorry if he doesn’t want me.
I will again tomorrow

How do you like someone like me?
Too scared to tell the truth, afraid of getting yelled at.
I was hoping that you won't leave me after learning the truth about me.
I like you just too scared to get rejected again.

They all warned me
They said, please don’t go.
Don’t follow him he will just leave you.
I didn’t listen
He said he would never hurt me
I was too young to understand he was lying.
The first year was right; then, I saw his true colors.
He only wanted me for my body.
Everyone could see it but me.
I missed the warning signs.
Now I’m heartbroken once again.

Watching a movie, you hate on repeat all day/ night long.
listing to the same sad song even though you cry every time.
Want to run to get out of your thoughts but it ends up jogging right next to you.
Hearing people talk but thinking they hate you.
Watching people hang out with you only to believe it’s all a trick.

The day of lost
The day I won’t forget.
The screaming of happiness blocked out by madness .
Candy hearts turned into poison.
The memories sting but never disappear.
Love is the word that keeps us waiting.
I lost my love but at least I’m not gone.
Waiting each year for a rose that won’t turn into lies.

I wish I could change the past.
I wish I never told you that I liked you.
Deep down, I hoped you felt the same way,
I thought that's why you always stayed up to text me.
I was stuck in my dream, not wanting to believe The truth.
I waisted so much of our friendship stuck in my bubble.
I wish I could change the past and get back what I miss so much.
Please, will you be my best friend again?

It’s my body
I tighten my breast to my chest with a thin rubber layer.
I stuff socks in my pants to pass the gender norms.
I listen that I’m not boy enough to pass but not girly sufficient to use the lady restroom.
My Brain is confused between making me happy or making my family ok.
I don’t want to hurt anyone, but I can’t live like this anymore.
I would instead run then stay another day as a woman.
My body is made for me.
My body is known to me.
My body is the only mine.

Hi
Do you remember me?
No
Ok
Let me tell you a story
You were my first love,
You were my only reason for happiness.
One day you left out of the blue.
Before this, you told me I was everything.
The cherry to your Sunday.
I beloved you.
I wish I didn’t.
Bye now

I fear the day you date.
No girl will trust me.
I wouldn’t trust me.
I was texting every day with no response, not afraid of regret.
It’s ok I get it,
Pick her.
I will wait.

I didn’t know how broken I was until I got better.
The battle was hard but being broken is worse.
Seeing my family scared when they see me is painful.
The thought of losing you is worse.

Leaves get brighter
The laughter gets louder.
Storms get bigger
And pools get less crowded.
Smiles are changing
Crying is starting.
But wait, do you hear that.?
One girl is smiling thought Is all.

I’m sorry
The phase that takes away the pain.
It saves me from feeling threatened.
It’s my power to make people happy that’s what I have been told since I was a kid.
I turned my magic in to “I’m sorry.”
Too scared to face conflict,
Afraid they will hurt me.
So I say I’m sorry.

I want to stop fighting and start living.
I think I found my source of hope.
I saw her smile from across the keyboard.
The little light in her eyes are giving the hope I need.
Please let this be true.

I write words that can’t find a way out
I leave a message for those that can’t hear me.
I write a part of me that doesn’t want to come out.
My pen has a light for when my heart doesn’t.
Poetry saved me once, and I need it too again.

The scars are starting to heal.
The memories are still with me.
I wish everything would go away.
I don’t want to feel pain anymore.

Help me
The noises are getting too loud to escape.
Each is telling me to do a crime that I don’t want to comment on.
I swear I’m not a bad person.
Who will Believe the me?
It’s not as bad as it sounds.
I’m only sick, not dangerous.

Leave me for a girl.
Our friendship can wait,
I'm too broken to leave.
Promise me It's worth all this pain.
Go, it’s ok.

It's ok not to be ok.
I was afraid of saying this for so long.
Depression doesn't live your body,
It just sticks with you for life.
It's ok to cry, let the tears be free.
Scream to let people know you aren't good.
Don't hide the broken from the world.
One day you will be fixed.
The first step is letting us know you need it.
Pain doesn't just go away.
I will be your guard from the bad.
First, I need to know what I'm fighting.

The snow glitters in the sunlight
Wind pushes it side to side, making a mess.
The taste of hot cocoa on my lips while watching
A family movie. Listing to the soft sound of laughing with all the joy of a little kid.
Waiting for a snow day wishing, the lottery will happen. The feeling of late-night stories by the fire.
The one pill to cure anything bad.

Why would someone want me.
I seen the way how the world works.
I’ve seen many people live in my life and Not come back.
I have seen the way that people look at me with pity and sorrow.
I want someone to love who isn’t scared to speak who isn’t afraid to be themselves.
I’m sorry if I’m a little needy I’m sorry if I see the worst in things.
So would you if you seen what I’ve seen.