your smile
your laugh
your hugs
your voice
I remember
our jokes
our time
our moments
and I miss them so much
I miss you

I want to cudde!!!
I want to feel your arms around me!!!
I want to touch you !!!!
I need to kiss you!!!!
I want see you!!
I need to feel you beside and inside me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I miss you incredibly 😔💕

everyday you pick up the hammer
you hit on the head of the nail
words surround you madly clamor
you can't make head or tail.

rarely the nail penetrates the wall
oftener it breaks by the blow
all that's hidden inside the skull
more refuse than pour out to flow.

you drive the nail's head with your might
wishing it goes all the way
miss in the wrath to hit it right
fail in what you badly need to say.

the hammer gets blunt slows your hand
you are saddened no progress is made
on the next day the same place you stand
looking at the twisted nail's head.

If I learn to turn off all the lights,
And return things where I found them,
And train to catch things as they fall,
(And then to not drop them at all)

If I learn to be so ever-loving,
Kind, not crude, not shoulder turning,
Predict the cuts that I could claw,
(And then not make the cuts at all)

If I learn to truly be content
And spend the days not feeling spent
Swallow resentment’s bitter call
(And forget bitterness forevermore)

If I learn to live outside myself
Learn to re-align myself,
Remove venom from my teeth-myself
Live a normal life myself
Begin to sanitise myself
Stop retreating to the dark, myself
Retract my knives and fists myself
Pull delusion from my eyes myself





Would I still be me at all?

a broken heart lies bleeding when its love as gone
shattered in to pieces. no strength to carry on
feeling lots of pain broken on the floor
the love that it once had.  not there any more

the happiness it knew.  turned in to a frown
the beat that it once carried. is slowly breaking down
though if you give it time .one day it will heal
then your heart will mend and change the way the feel.