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 Aug 2023 Naceur Ben Mesbah
Maddy
A double rainbow yesterday.
Daddy said Hello.
That is one of the reasons rainbowchaser is my copyright.
We lost him fifty years ago this August when he was only 45.
We lost Mom three years ago this August.
My father-in-law was eight years ago this August.
I don't like or care for the month of August.
Take care of Mom and our grandparents.
Watch over all your kids including grand and great grand.
Thanks for saying Hello and will always love and miss you!

C@rainbowchaser2023
In memory of  Daddy, Mom, and my father -in-law
 Aug 2023 Naceur Ben Mesbah
Maddy
Gentle syncopated breeze in the trees
Remembering your family giving you a hale and hearty farewell
Your infant great-granddaughter, great-grandson, grandchildren and children hurt and annoyed about the damage Covid start and brought you to an end
Rest in Love, Mom
Say Hi to DADDY
We miss you both more words than I can ever write

C@rainbowchaser2023
On the news I see video
of fallen trees and devastated homes
wrought by a tornado -
too late for damage control.

But I have in me
fallen trees
crumpled garbage cans
wrecked plans
vertical vehicles
dead pets
stacks of regrets
and borrowed sorrows.

So here I am displaying my damages
spilling my darkness in this light.

Thank you
for abiding for a while
in this modest attempt at damage control.
Dedicated to L from Boston and grateful for his poem:
https://hellopoetry.com/poem/4723041/all-i-know-now/
I can decide if I will let go
and enjoy the moment
with the crepe myrtle across the way
and swing in the breeze with the sunflowers
or
if I will pull the shade of fear over my eyes
and attach to my feet the weight of worry.
She's in my arms
Feeling the warmth of our
Loving embrace
and the refreshing scent in this beautiful sunny place and
We are like stars falling in love tonight and making each other’s dreams come true in life and she's so
Amazing and super beautiful to
And I will always love her
With all of my heart and we'll be
Together forever never to part.
True Love Come True 😻😻💋❤️
.
Red sky at morning ...  sailors take warning !!!
First dawn's light steals away over the towering Cascade Head.
A heavy autumn dew dripped from the Whaler's bow rails
as sun rays  flashed like beacons from rain-forest  headlands on high;
where Pacific Northwest rivers September equinox dawning ebb
pushed us mercifully unto the chilling stiff autumn sea breeze.
Dappled sun reigning through the pinkish purple morning sky,
patchy fog adorning the awakening inshore headlands atop the bay,
shining from the pearly gate’s mission bells higher ground ,
beckoning another fisherman lost and found at sea come home...

Heaven’s lighthouse alerts the celestial sky
of the impending eminent soul journey,
highlighting the distant horizon’s breaking swells
capped of white meringue  sea foam.
Sea gulls escort precious cargo's final voyage,
gliding gracefully in the shadows of the firmament,
our lungs filled , revitalized with the salty air's poignant elixir
Pelican vanguard's white light reflection guiding our vessel seaward ,
alone in a perfect storm...

Northwest gales standing up the ebbing tide’s uprising crescents,
waves pounding in rhythmic flow;
calling all angels!   ― my ruminating mantra and plead
The Clatsop Spit’s dangerous song resounds the stark reminder,
life's raucous changing seasons, prevailing winds beckon
with the allure of siren’s call,
that now is nearly here ...

The countenance of flowing salty tears liberating release ,  
vast ocean's raw sheets of saltwater spray would not hide .
He just sat and stared at the seaward horizon
while the telltale tears flowed,  perhaps an unspoken dream
of a merciful final surrender with eyes wide open,
love steering our vessel west where sun shines to set ;
now far beyond the visible ache,  for mine own eyes blur
trepidation teardrops rained as sheets of frothing sea.

The wordless conversation known,  the compass full circle drawn  
like the sacred salmon's cycle ends to nourish back ancient sage
unto its own mandala ―  forever beginning life,  eternally drawn
through river estuaries ― stirred by ebbing infinite tidal pull ...

There is an oppressive weight found within paternal understanding,
and yet,  as certain as the dawn promises the inevitable setting sun ;
all things must pass as sure as all things begin ,
someone you love most,  longest in short life ,
has come forth to break bread at sea as the torch is passed ,
sharing life for the last time comes too soon ― with little warning ...

There was an emotional unidentifiable hollow pang brooding ,
as if letting go gradually,  yet potentially instantly,
that drains every last drop of a breaking heart ache ;
waning strength swallows down hard ― stifled sighs ― lumps in throats, words better left unsaid ― only cleansing tears flow, knowing when they start to purge,  they might not want to stop again.

This moment's final autumn’s changing season’s waning ebb
That final riptide will forevermore change all other rivers’ flow
where oceans set mother earth's rivers free until the end of time ...

My father ― a man's man who seemed to find a peaceful Zen ;
an unfinished life was reborn that day to see it through
as my hands grasped the wheel , compass held steady.
The son to carry on the weight of love and compassionate understanding ;
love born in the blood inspired the fortitude to carry on.
As a life flashed before my eyes on that final raging Pacific sea,
instincts mused by ancient Tyees’ souls stirred drawning sun's
radiant rays of perception ;  accepting this life on earth
would never be the same but would just simply be ,
knowing this light's shine will never glow quite the same again ,
yet radiate a more deeply vivid luminosity...

We melded into that first day of Autumn,
falling silent , and yet our heads held high
There was nothing left to be done but pray with eyes wide open

“spirits of all oceans of mother earth …
show the sacred salmon's tragic heroism, the way back home to peaceful waters”

Few words were spoken as everything was silently said.

"To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose,
under Heaven"

The Outrage cleaved the surging Pacific's heave, knuckles white,
the wheel held sway,  climbing mountainous long ocean swells
breaching the south jetty's giant boulder walls ;
there rolls the mighty Columbia jaws,
where all Rivers suffuse with vast oceans, eternally free ...


.... Harlon Rivers    .... September 22nd . 2013
Post Script:
With fondest loving memories of my father's life and times shared~
So much of this day's memory is deeply repressed and each year I try to free a little bit more but each year passed has been privately circle filed, yet I try again to be set free..   Purging emotions so intense that they are nearly blacked out... I did not realize the basis of depth until later private moments... It was in fact the day of the Autumn Equinox a few years ago,  a final birthday celebration of sorts combined with bringing the Boston Whaler Outrage, home.   Dad passed 1 week later after this trip from Pancreatic cancer ...we spend the final 72 hours alone together at Hospice after his birthday..."Crossing Over"

Not unlike myself, there was an inherent restlessness to my father. We found a peace, unlike any other ― one with nature. He used to like to say he felt at home on the ocean. He went out as many as 30-40 miles alone on the rare occasion the Tuna came that close to the NW Oregon ― SW Washington coast...That may not seem like much in land miles, but you cannot see land from that distance and the Columbia River's confluence with the Pacific Ocean is known as one of the most dangerous bar crossings in the world. I thought Dad's life would have a very different ending...this one never crossed my mind, letting go is far more difficult than hanging on ― rivers


June 18th, 2017   Fragments of the Sea
https://hellopoetry.com/poem/1954243/fragments-of-the-sea/

June 12th, 2012:  Memories of My Father's Traces...
A tribute to my father ...  
https://hellopoetry.com/poem/1995383/traces-of-youa-fathers-tribute/

Thank you for reading ― have a great summer :)
i had this dream last night
you and me and a long bus ride
huddled together in a seat for 2
leaving behind our town's view
we talked for a while
and passed a few smiles
only to let the silence embrace us
keeping away from topics of trust

but i could feel your mind churning
and deep down hoped for a desire burning
for something that i'd craved for far too long
knowing ****** well that it was wrong

and then dozed off me
into yet another fantasy
of a reality pretty far from mine
with our hands intertwined
and our faces mere inches apart
and booooom, i woke up with a start
only too see that your hand had moved
and was now gently touching my fingers
with looks that weren't appropriate to linger

i was hyperventilating, wasn't i?
my face up in ashes like the sunset sky
and your gaze pierced my soul
as if i were a diamond amongst the coal
you whispered my name and said-
"i wish we'd taken my car instead.......
and Oh My God i convulsed there and then,
wondering how did this ever happen?

because even in my dreams know i this
that i am not a part of you that you miss
to your calmness i am chaotic and careless
to your perfection i shall remain a mess
and you will soar high and shall always rise
whereas i will be a broken little girl who cries

because you're the sun that shines too bright
and i am a moth drawn to your darkest light
to the muse who shall never know that i wrote this for him
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