A time to reap, a time to sow
A time for everything, this I know
But what about the man who understands
yet can do nothing but watch
as time slips through his hands?

I don't know what it is
that stops me from functioning
They call me a nut
but I'm just a child
who never grew up

I went to the park
I sat on a swing
until it grew dark
drinking
thinking

The bright lights were stinging
I realized it's all a result
of a horrible upbringing
If people were more humble
I wouldn't be sinking

No one can see it
But I feel it inside me
When I look at myself
Can't help but cringe
Placed on a pedestal
Where one shouldn't be
It was crooked and sloped
A balancing act
For all eyes to see
A throne of tears
I was placed up high
On a foundation of sand
And when I fell
The pain that I felt
Made everyone uneasy
I just hope in the future
You understand
And don't laugh
But understand
Please understand

I bear no grudges
I forgive with my whole heart
I hold none accountable for what they did

It's a curse for me now
but a blessing for me later
I will escape the fires of judgement

The media, how it shines
It doesn't need to rhyme
To get us hooked on new sensations
In keeping with the times

You read between the lines
you discern sublime signs
And still you cannot begin to grasp
the horror it entwines

I want to learn what's new
Just terror through and through
Everyday I'm drifting farther from
The thought there's good in you

Never feeling bored
Wrapped in chain-like cords
trying to maintain my sanity
as events unfold

In the end it haunts
It prods and burns and taunts
The harm it causes to the populace
Is in the tiny font

Many people are born of blue skies
A star in the sky belongs to each one
A dream forms in their sparkling eyes
They follow a destiny that begins in their vision
Calm and secure, they are free to roam
To walk with light that guides their paths

I was born of a different sky
On a rainy and stormy November morning
Cold and damp, I knew to rebel
My destiny was to go where others would not
I died each time I was put under light
Only to be reborn through a desire for the end

But now the blanket of darkness has been lifted from my heart
And I see that in all my pain was a comforting nothingness
Despite my loneliness I never lost my strength and courage
The coldness caressed me like a nurturing mother
In her womb I dwelled while others saw depression
And anxiety and nervousness and laziness and sloth

I feel relieved that the demons have left me alone, if for a while
I am not being harassed spiritually by nightmares and terrors
My methods of relief are not needed
It is at this point that I cease judging others
I see the blue skies, and they are numbing the pain
And with the blue skies I understand that it is time to act

I never had a goal or a dream
Except to live and gaze at the beautiful skies
To live in peace and security
In harmony with nature and God and with people
I have sat alone and in despair for so long
I am thankful for a moment when the sun parts the clouds

In this place
I try so hard
To show off
My better side
Under a correct light
I can shine so bright
Go so far
But there's a part
In my heart
That comes out
At certain times
Here it is
Then it's gone
Now it's back
It's like right and wrong
Day and night
Or white and black
I wave it away
Keep it at bay
It comes again
To attack
Need to pray
And unwind
To unify
My ruptured mind
But I know
In the end
By moving on
I'm left behind

If I'm quiet
No one listens
If I shout
Then I'm crazy
Told to let it all out
Not to bottle things up
But no one cares
How I fare

A narcissist's dreams
Have selfish themes
They see the future
And plan their schemes
But when they see me
Full of joy
They do their part
To break my heart

And thus I fall
Into a well
Into a hole
Into a hell
I have to yell
A cry for help
Cause no one cares
How I fare