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Jun 2020 · 79
3 kids and a dog
kromwellfarkus Jun 2020
3 kids and a dog
20 years of pleasure and pain
I look up from my hole
Which took 20 years to excavate
Happiness is fleeting
Demons I've been feeding
Have gorged on the pains
A banquet of self hate.

I apologize for the lack of love
For the self isolation
For the dishonesty
And no communication
It doesn't matter now
I can't un-say what I've said
Nor undo what I've done
This love is dead

She allows me to stay
To sleep on the couch
To be a ghost of a man
Still visible
I hunt for a house
A place just to sleep
3 kids and a dog
Just a fading memory.
Jun 2020 · 62
Tethered heart
kromwellfarkus Jun 2020
I took my heart
Out of my chest
Drag it behind
Tethered by leash
It tumbles and rolls
Collecting memories
Of where I've been
It feels every step.
Jun 2020 · 97
Fall and climb
kromwellfarkus Jun 2020
I want it all
Yet nothing at all
I want to reach the highest peak
And fall
All at once
Yet not even a taste
I want to be left alone
In your warm embrace.

If you let me
I will show you
Who we can be
Together
I will show you love
And give you my all
If you catch me
After this fall.

These buckled knees
These broken dreams
This rusted cage
Around my heart
This tiny frame
This twisted brain
Unbeknownst to me
Was yours from the start.

I never knew
How I was able to feel
Until I felt something
For you
I cannot wait
Nor resist
To lose myself
In your touch and your kiss.
May 2020 · 116
5 minutes more
kromwellfarkus May 2020
Just let me sleep
To heal my hurts
To muffle the demons
Screaming within,
Just let me sleep
To recharge my core
To refocus my mind
To forgive my sins.

It doesnt matter
That my eyes are open
Just let me sleep.
May 2020 · 80
Reflect
kromwellfarkus May 2020
I remember
The first kiss
The first punch
On the lips.

I remember
My parents
My siblings
I didn't choose them.

I remember
The first girl
To love me
To hate me.

I have no recollection
Of how it felt.

Pain
Feels the same
As does love.

Remember?
May 2020 · 118
Silly backwards fish
kromwellfarkus May 2020
Caught in a web
Woven by me.

She loves me
I dont.

She loves me
I do.

Silly backwards fish.

Collect pros and cons
It will hurt either way
Cant quite remember
A single word said.

Think with heart
Think with head
These dreams
Engulf all.

It doesn't matter
This life
Is predestined
As is yours.

This web will age
Its adherence will slack
Freedom will be found
If only temporary.
May 2020 · 107
2hearts1stone
kromwellfarkus May 2020
The hardest thing I have ever done
Is told my daughter
That I no longer love her Mum.
May 2020 · 73
Potoooooooo (pot 8 o)
kromwellfarkus May 2020
Been swimmin in gutters
Finding the darkest corners
To crawl toward

In the silence
The screams are louder
And the breaths
Seem deeper

Reaching out
To pedestrians
Watching the different colour socks
Walk past

Not dead
Just dying
Drownin
In gutters
May 2020 · 169
Pumba
kromwellfarkus May 2020
No date set
Not yet
First kiss will begin
This beautiful catastrophy.
Premeditated
Drops of love concentrated
I'll be there
For handover.
If she wants me
She wants my demons too
And they are so excited
To share their pain.
She's really smart
She makes me laugh
She fills my emptiness
With hers.

Nothing else matters
Only, how she feels
If she's going ok
If she thinks of me.

Soon to vow
Promise and follow through
To make the dream real
Throw caution to the wind.
I will try
Make the forever effort
To ignite this spark
And glow.
She is worth everything
I will break my soul
To have her hand to hold
And allow her to sleep sound.

If I hit the ground
From this fall
It will break
Everything I am.
I will fall for her
Everyday
For the rest of the time
Time allows.
May 2020 · 90
For
kromwellfarkus May 2020
For
Forever in love
With the dream
Of forevermore
In love

In you I see
A place to sleep
Safe and secure
Safe and assured

I speak heart truths
To you
And you
You know

It's just for you.

My collection of masks
All set aside
With you
By my side

Finally
This poor old soul
Can stop searching

Forevermore.
May 2020 · 69
Pre meditated
kromwellfarkus May 2020
As a husk
As my heart
Is elsewhere
I swear

As a ghost
As my flesh
Is elsewhere
I swear

Existing
Hardly here
And it will hurt
When I disappear

As a husk
As a ghost.
Apr 2020 · 129
Candy eyed
kromwellfarkus Apr 2020
When u feel it
U fukn feel it
Candy caught in my eyes
Rainbows entangles in my ****

When its deep
It cuts deep
Removing logical thought
Removing sleep

Cant quite compute.

Give urself a second
To think
U cant
Cos it's deep

Tangled flow
But u know
U fukn know
Cos the rainbows in ur ****

And candy in ur eyes.
Apr 2020 · 81
Lawless
kromwellfarkus Apr 2020
From everyday, endless and boundless,
To nothing.

I chose this.

It kills me,
To be unable to love
Her.

I wait, for a sign
But, she has so much respect
And so do I.

I want to reconnect
But the flame will reignite
And we will get burnt.

Maybe, it's not our time
Maybe, our time is to come
Maybe we missed our chance.

Maybe, it was my big fat stupid fault.

Trapped by my own decisions
To do the "right" thing
I will break every heart I love
If I manifest this.

I am unsure
What hurts more
The fact I can't love her
Or the silence.

I chose this.
Apr 2020 · 81
dad n kids
kromwellfarkus Apr 2020
One day you'll understand
Why I am the way I am
How I came to be this man
One day you'll understand.

Dad comes home and cooks our tea
Still in his work clothes
He stinks of effort
Cigarettes and beer

He doesn't kiss Mum anymore
He doesn't eat with us anymore
He does the dishes
And he sings to himself

Then he just disappears
Out to his shed
We see him, from the house
Sitting and smoking and drinking.

I hear them from here
The arguments and the laughter
The conversation and cursing
I hear them from here

This poor loveless man
Perched alone in his shed
Fighting demons on his own
Fighting demons in his head.

We say goodnight from the back door
We just yell it out
He screams back that he loves us
And to sleep well

He doesn't know of our problems
He doesn't care for our pain
He is the ghost that covers all the bills
He is a broken man, my Dad.

I wish I had the strength
To be what they require
But, the love is gone
And so have I.

One day you'll understand
How I came to be this man
One day you'll understand
Why I am the way I am.
Apr 2020 · 97
Pass the light
kromwellfarkus Apr 2020
Stop, just stop for a moment
Breathe deep.

The demons inside refuse to sleep
They crawl and twist
Amongst **** and sweat and ****
They scream with white knuckle fist

I try to slumber within the thunder
Of bellows just beneathe my skin
So wide awake, I stay and wish
That they cease the crawl and twist

Eventually they calm and tire
Rest in the coals of once raging fire
Only to awake before my eyes open
Whispering promises of future desire

I drown their screams however I can
Inhale the poison, ingest the pain
Unbeknownst to me, this is how they feed
So, now, I fall to a knee

From open blue, from somewhere new
There she is, she is you

A calm spreads across the field
A faint light shines from behind open eyes
I haven't heard the demons roar
In a week, maybe more

Conversation, erratic but true
Honesty brutal, at least it's the truth
An emotion from nowhere
I let it settle right here

The demons, they sleep
Starved from the toxins they need
A sudden desire to light the internal fire
Just for the warmth, just for me

I will travel to her
I will hold her in my arms
I will kiss her as I gaze inside
I will watch her demons run and hide

And I will say
Stop
Just for a moment
Breathe deep.
Mar 2020 · 144
Me lad
kromwellfarkus Mar 2020
Me lad.
He's 14.
And, hes been in ****
At school.

Now, we have his back
And all that.
He's my boy
Me lad.

It has come to light
At such recent time
That his forgery skills
Have been paying his bills
To freedom.

"Uncle Matt"
Has a note for you teacher.

You must do
What Uncle Matt wrote.

As per Uncle Matts last note,
Here is another,
Signed...

Uncle Matt.

The signature said
Uncle (fukn) Matt.

They accepted this
And off he went
To where ever he desired...

Good ol Uncle Matt.

Me lad,
He's 14.
And he's playing the fools
For the fools they are.

We had a meeting.

Me, the missus and me lad,
It didn't turn out too bad
But, then it did
And we had to take a step back.

Me ol mate.
Me lad.
He's got demons in his head,
That I can't slay...

Cos he's in his room most of the time,
Figuring out his identity.

So, from outside looking in,
I just let him breathe...

Cos he's me lad
An I'm his Dad.
Mar 2020 · 139
The kid's ok
kromwellfarkus Mar 2020
Exhausted
Disgusted
Muddle-headed
Betrayed

My own blood
Taints my perspective
Of how it is
To be young and free

Love is unconditional
But I am exhausted
In trying to love
A fiend

This is my responsibility
But I am disgusted
In the behavior displayed
And the actions portrayed

I have more than one priority
But, I am so muddle-headed
Dreams and reals, haters and feels
All mix into colossal confusion

I will always have your back
But I have been betrayed
By your actions verses what you've said
It's hard to love with a head full of regret

It's not too much
But it is
Please, please just be good
I can't take too much more

When all is done and said
I will crawl back to my shed
**** the memories with new dreams
On a hammock, on a beach, in my head.
Feb 2020 · 120
Before the storm
kromwellfarkus Feb 2020
Happy birthday kid
You made it this far
May as well keep on goin
Cos time aint slowin

The years seem faster
And the months fly by
A second seems shorter
Than the blink of an eye

Before I kick off
With the festivities and such
Just know, I have always
Given a ****

This is the calm
Before the storm
I won't be home
Until the morn

Keep a light on
So I know where to stagger
10th birthday of a 40 year old man
But, that doesn't matter.

May the hangover be kind
And the drugs be pure
May my friends all get along
You *****.
Before the night of my 40th...
Feb 2020 · 111
Blue
kromwellfarkus Feb 2020
Pain no one sees
It's hidden and curled away
Strength no one sees
It's curled and hidden away.

Swearing at the ones I love
Knee-**** reactions
Silly assumptions
Stick to my guns.

Be angry to feel correct
To be right
It doesn't fukn matter
Who said what and when.

It
Doesn't
Fukn
Matter

Stupid games we play
In our heads throughout the day
Makes an *** of you and me
I assume.

The demons we have
All bite the same
And trust
Can never be regained.

I am not wrong
I am not right
I love you, you ****
Even in hindsight.
Feb 2020 · 116
You've got this
kromwellfarkus Feb 2020
This write
Is about you.

You're still young
You have time
We all see the strength
In the lightening from your eyes.

Life is a fickle arrangement of sweets
Sometimes you gotta eat the licorice.

This love in your heart
Combined with
Those things you didn't say
This is not how it has to be.

Don't mix your thought
With feeling
It will leave you unsure
Follow your heart OR your head.

People love you
Our circles are small
But the love we project
Embraces us all.

I fuckn believe in you
So dig fukn deep

Find the light which defines who you are
You've got this.
Dash of optimism for those that need it. Life is hard, sometimes, a cutla words of encouragement is all it takes to refocus, and carry on.

To who ever needs it. Youve fukn got this.
Feb 2020 · 114
14
kromwellfarkus Feb 2020
14
I hear him through passing
Cries of a teenage boy
I barge in to find him
Slumped over his bed, phone in hand
Hunched in the position
Of a deeply engrossed Android user
Tears and snot drip from his face
I take a knee, and adorn my embrace.

It doesn't matter why
It doesn't matter who
Not to me
My only concern is his sadness.

Social ******* media
Is a poison.

I never had it as a kid
So, it's a hard one to relate to.

To him, I am just a lame old man
Past his prime, no one wants to hear.

To me, he is how I used to be
When I was 14...

But that doesn't matter to the 14.

And it wont matter, perhaps until the 20s.

I sit out the back, in the shed, and write this
While he, questions his place and his sanity
My lil man, my boy, my son
Cope as you will...

Dinner will be ready soon.
Feb 2020 · 108
Perpetual motion man
kromwellfarkus Feb 2020
Words that pass my lips
Spoken from the reverberations
That my throat makes
For some reason.





Converse with another mechanism
From within my mechanism
My comfortable prison
Close eyelids to pull the blinds

We are all ****** up
In our own lil cute way
And I pull the levers
To act the socially acceptable way

But, the other day
I pressed a button
Perhaps, I shouldn't have
But, I did

It has triggered proximity switches
24volt control
Fed through inverters and now
There ain't no brakes

Not with this plc installation
Outputs all closed...

**** it.
Feb 2020 · 113
Lost Hat
kromwellfarkus Feb 2020
Nudgin 40
3 squids
Got a ticket
To a gig

Pre organised
To meet 2 mates
They didn't show
So, I'm on me own

It took me a while
To realise
That they wouldn't show

The ticket was a Christmas gift.

I lost my hat.

It was a leather cap with fluffy ear *****..

It was.

I lost one of two joints;
But, smoked my second one
With fellow revellers
I cannot recall their faces.

I crowd-surfed.

I was literally upside down
3 times.

This is how I lost my hat.

I bought it at a servo a few years ago.

Now
I'm home.

Proper fuckn rinsed.

Recalling my evening.

Nudgin 40.

3 squids.

Out of 2 I'd give it 1.
Dec 2019 · 136
Black dog
kromwellfarkus Dec 2019
I might stay up for a bit
As she walks and waves goodnight
We both know that I'm lying
On the couch again tonight.

This confused young man
Has grown up
Into a bitter old man
And the years seem to get faster.

There is no help
Even when one reaches out
This black dog on my back
Is strangling me now.

Shallow breaths
Disrupted naps
Just trying
To relax.

She screams at me
I'm not doing my job
As a father, a parent and a partner
I am half the man they all need.

I have plain responses
Eventually I snap
As my only defence
Is "*******", back into my shell.

If this black dog doesn't **** me
Something else will.

Excess consumption of poisons
Just to numb the pains
I give them all a kiss goodnight
With eyes, like **** holes in the snow.

Men don't cry
They internalize the frustration
As I have been taught
Through vacancy of peers.

This fragile silly man
Nudging 40, somehow
Never dealt with his demons
So he has become them all.

Silently slumber with a head full of thunder
Cringe through the noise and the fog
Twist and contort and wake up tomorrow
Grab the leash, and walk the black dog.
Dec 2019 · 130
After midnight
kromwellfarkus Dec 2019
Barely try anymore
Do just enough
To avoid the confrontation
The silence is beautiful.

Feed the demons
Whatever they desire
Whatever you do
Don't let them starve.

Inhale and ingest
Consume and spend
An **** of self destruction
Hidden deep within.

My poor children.

Do they realise?
Could they comprehend?
Their Dad is a ghost of a man
Falling apart, walking dead.

Bottle the poisons with the secrets
Encased within flesh
Please don't claim in my eulogy
That I always did my best.

My poor missus.

She is my polar opposite
Strong willed, organised and focused
Pulling me out of the darkest spots
Simultaneously killing herself.

She reminds me of my responsibility
Switches me back to reality
But, she is more ****** than me
But I am full of more poison.

Trickle out painful truths
Drip feed my loved ones
I tell them, I'm fine
But I am a paddock away.

Chase the rainbow
To find the peace
But, I'm just a wasted idiot
Watching tv after midnight.
Dec 2019 · 205
Good job, knuckles
kromwellfarkus Dec 2019
This isn't a real job
The lines are crossed and confused
Scope of works sometimes so vague
It shortens my poor bosses fuse.

When the job's on, the job's fukn on
We sweat bullets, amongst all the banter
Beers at the yard, lines off of tynes
And doobies to trigger the laughter.

We travel to places, serene and surreal
But also, vile, uninhabitable and ****
Our cars get a flogging, as do our livers
I don't really know, I just rocked up here.

We have seen many leave and given the flick
Jobs so *******, we didn't give a ****
Just do as we're told, take the money and fold
That's what I like about you, **** all.

Rub shoulders with corporate
Just play the fukn game
Remember old mate? What's his fukn name?
Yeah, he got fired, carry on old mate.

So we, the remaining few, represent the crew
Getting kicked out of a pub, maybe two
Sky fireworks, twerking locals and trannies
Mugs away, closest to bulls, play for serves.

As we encounter and share more scenarios
Breathe the ******* out and the good times in
Seeya on Mondee ya pregnant bitumen ****
If not, I'll see ya in the bottom of the bin.
A few in house jokes here for my fellow workers, I wrote this to recite at our up and coming Christmas show... it's not what you do, but who you work with that makes a job worthwhile.
Sep 2019 · 161
Frozen fish
kromwellfarkus Sep 2019
Cold fish
Three kids
Pull away
From my kiss.

We can't go back
To how it used to be.

Bitter
Twisted
If she loved me
I missed it.

Expectation
To change
But I
Have always been this way.

Messages
From other girls
They say they have
What I've been looking for.

But this
Cold fish
Three kids
Is all I've ever known.

I have 3 drinks
Before home
Just to drown out
The noise.

I pull over
Side of the street
Just to focus
On my love for her.

When I get home
She's there
Ready to miss
My kiss.

We have crazy history
I think I made her this way
She has changed and I
Have stayed the same.

I can't leave her
Cos, I'll leave kids 3
And they won't
Ever forgive me.

So the question lies...

Do I stay unhappy
For their happiness?
Or, do I leave
For my happiness?

As a man, the rules are
I get to see kids 3
On the weekends
And sometimes in between.

Cos, if I walk
I walk alone
As my happiness
Is second to theirs.

Or, I wait
Loveless for 8 more years
Desperately try to repair
Bandaid on a severed wound.

I sometimes wish
I could give my kiss
To another
For always and ever.

But then, as a man,
I would not stand
For her to do
The same.

From my kiss
Pull away
Three kids
Cold fish.
Aug 2019 · 150
Drifter
kromwellfarkus Aug 2019
Drifting
Barely existing
**** of melancholy
Double pump *******.

Scattered
Disillusioned
Must be
Tuesday.

Less dollars
Than sense
Hindsight
Past tense.

Crawling
In rat races
Left to scramble
Through rat feces.

Skun knees
Disfigured frame
Alone
With only one to blame.

Time expires
Days wasted
Become memories lost
Penniless cost.

Breathe and bleed
Barely exist
Drag knuckle and fist
Continue to drift.
Aug 2019 · 171
Love thy demon
kromwellfarkus Aug 2019
This demon is fuelled
Brimming with ability
Poised and capable
Of ******* everything and anything.

Always tensing
Just during conversation
Eyeballing, fist clenching
Unsure, correct, politely swearing.

This demon is pent up.



This man, in the backyard
He just sits, and smokes, and drinks
Tapping away at his phone
He comes inside to **** and eat.
He says hello, he says goodnight
He screams at us when we've not done right
He sleeps on the lounge
He is a ghost.



This demon I contain
Its talons obscure responsibility
And I sit, and I smoke and I drink
Outside, on my phone.
Useless, piece of fuckn ****
Just, be a part of it
Your family is right there
On the other side of that glass.

This demon has strength
Of which I cannot break
Its chains are worn and not rated
Its strength gathered has gone unchecked.

Until... I just talk
To her, and to them
Be the father they need
And the man she needs me to be.
Consistency matters
Everyday is a new opportunity
To be stronger
Than the demon within.
Aug 2019 · 159
Kids on mute
kromwellfarkus Aug 2019
Conversation like old crust on bread
Affection missing the point
Intimacy long gone
Don't touch me during this song.
Sleep back to back
No more goodnight or sweet dreams
Maybe kick a thigh
During REM or when alarms ring.
Get told I'm doin it all wrong
Get told I have to change
Get told I have to change my ways
No wonder this stray cat strays.

She cant accept the fact
That I am the way that I am
Read my poety to my kids
The way that they understand,
It's cold and the wind still blows
Through my hoody and ugg boots
I shiver as I enjoy my own company
These are the shoes that I choose.

Slight one-liners, tongue in cheek
Don't care, been like this for over 4 weeks
Water off a ducks back
Silly ****, go **** yourself.

I probably shouldn't swear
But here we are
Tonic to my lips
Terrible hat hair,
I tell her how my day was
All the pros and cons
She tells me that her day was "fine"
I raise an eyebrow and don't give a ****.

My poor young kids...

Living with a rancid Mum n Dad.

Poor little **** trophies,
They didn't sign up for this ****.

I'm just trying
And so is she
But, we are two different versions
Of how life should be.

She doesn't read
My poetry.

If she did...

Perhaps we wouldn't be.
Jul 2019 · 201
Masking
kromwellfarkus Jul 2019
No blade will cut
No noose will tighten
No pistol will trigger.

The ongoing misery
Swallowed
Bones and offal
Let the eyes well.

Some words spoken
Cannot be unsaid
Let them fester
Within the walls of my head.

Unable to fly
Unable to ignore
Last red before bed
Awake on crumbed floor.

Open wounds
Stay open
Just to remind me
Of the pain consumed.

I will be
The last man alive
After they've all died
This is my curse.

Stay alive
With all the dead
My funeral
Will have to be self funded.

Fail at suicide
Fail at living
This depression has teeth
And will not submit.

Deep breath
Get out of the ute
Smile to the work crew
Make them laugh.
Jul 2019 · 140
How was your day?
kromwellfarkus Jul 2019
She doesn't say
How was her day
Anymore.

She sometimes says
What I need to change
My behavior or my attitude
Is usually the way.

She never says
She's strong, she's brave
And, I want her to be.

Perhaps, not today.


I try.

I fukn try.

But, our eyes don't meet
Eye to eye.


I think of her
Throughout the day,
I doubt
She does the same.

At times she fills me
Full of love,
At times she kills me
And all of the above.

So...

Tea is ready,

And, I should go...

I wonder, if she'll say
How her day was.

Fingers crossed
That she says so.
19 years together.
Still love her.
Jun 2019 · 105
The gambler
kromwellfarkus Jun 2019
Amongst walls
My pet hate
The screens glow warm
Up the ante.
Familiar nuance
Crippling addiction
Habitual ritual
Fool in tradies clothing.
Identity dying
Unique fades
As weekly expenditures
Folds into days.
Hide the losses
Ignore the demon
Just to feel
Its grasp over again.
Fleeting luck
Pick a corner
Where will it end?
Once every coin is spent.

I will not apologise
And this suicide
Will not pay penance
For my wrongdoings.
At my eulogy
Speak lowly of me
Tell them of the *******
I truly was.
Destroy all memory
So I can rest anonymous
The price paid
Outweighed the cost.
kromwellfarkus Jun 2019
Happiness is a lie,

The pursuit is in vain
As the world has been constructed
To give nothing but pain.

Your friends will depart
They will move away
And all you will have left
Is your disinterested family.

Everyone will be too busy
To come to your wedding
To come to your birthday
To come to your funeral.

You will finish school
Work until you're insane
Retire and wonder
What the **** happened.

You will despise your partner
Never get laid
Even a simple conversation
Will be like pulling teeth.

The money you make
Will never be enough
One day, you'll awake in your bed
With nothing.

There is no point.

Your spark will fade
Your drive will dissolve
And your stupid life story
Will never be told.

Maybe it's just me
Maybe I'm just being negative
Or maybe, just maybe
I'm ******* right.

Good luck.

You'll need it.
Jun 2019 · 159
Knock off
kromwellfarkus Jun 2019
Another working day done
Say goodbye to the sun
On the drive home
Stop in at the pub.

Couple amber starters
Sixer for the road
Farewell to the bar flies
Boisterous hoo roo.

I turn the wrong way
And continue on
As I am well aware
Of what awaits me at home.

She will be angry
And the kids will be crazy
I will seem distant
Outside, on my own.

I choke down my roadies
If only for dutch courage
Puff out my chest
And exhale the inevitable.

She is wild eyed
She questions my methods
I stand still, nodding in agreeance
While her arms flail in accusation.

The kids, walk on egg shells
To come give me a squeeze
They bury their heads into my puffed out chest
I kiss their confused brows.

I help with dinner
I help with dishes
I have nothing to say
To the missus.

As much as I love her
As much as I care
When ever I'm home
I'm never actually there.

She rips into me
Just before bed
So, I sleep on the couch
To avoid the discomfort.

I awake before my alarm
Quietly, organise my ****
Walk out the door and sigh
It may be a long day at work today.
May 2019 · 160
Astray
kromwellfarkus May 2019
Only if you want.
Here is my outstretched hand,
Soft yet scarred, for you to hold,
It's all I can afford.

This exquisite piece I made for you,
In my head,
For your senses to swoon,
Against your will.

Just to show you,
The edge of the knife,
The cusp of the moon,
A heartbeat of life.

I stay astray,
Just to to think of the right words to say
But, when it comes time,
You were there, and I was away.

It's all  I can afford,
Soft, yet scarred, for you, to hold,  
Here, is my outstretched hand,
Only if you want.
May 2019 · 132
Once at Eleven
kromwellfarkus May 2019
Amongst the midst of violence and kiss,
Between caress and clenched fist,
A lost dream soul, heart embered coal,
Skin as thick as the next.

Wince and cringe after each binge,
Focus, as feathers fall from wing,
Complex sphere, edges adhere
To anxiety, paranoia, and shiny things.

Collapsing as flesh, takes deep final breath,
Tries to explain in a mere sentence,
But, basics are lost in riddles and fore thought,
In meetings, supposed to be emails.

Spawns with eyes much like mine,
Coil and suffocate in innocence sublime,
Naive souls, individual yet trefoil,
Make the empty struggle worthwhile.

Deal and dance with demons,
As you do, on the daily,
Play the game, but take no shame,
In pouring a glass at eleven A.M.
May 2019 · 122
Mere male
kromwellfarkus May 2019
I was prepared
To follow you
To the ends of the earth
But, you said no.

I fell in love
But didn't bother
To tell you.

I was prepared
To leave my life behind
But, it was too much too soon
For you.

You were honest
And, the truth hurt
So, I accepted the fact
I'd never be with you.

I ran circles
Chased my tail
Just to end up
Where I started.

I remember
Everything my memory allows
And I will always
Feel the same.

I am not worth
Your company
I am well aware
That you are a pipe dream.

So, now what to do?
Stuck between suicide and lifes struggle
Don't want to live
Yet, too young to die.

Unable to begin again
Unsure of how to express how I feel
Don't want to scare you away
Unable to decipher anything.

Silly boy
When will you learn
Every bridge you build
Does not need to be burned.

Childish man
When will you understand
Love is not a lifestyle
It is a commitment.

Foolish male
How will this end
Your soul mate is a myth
Not found within a kiss.

Stupid bloke
Swallow the smoke
She's waiting for you
At home.

She loves you
She always has
So do your children
You're insulting all of them.

Go home
Kiss all brows
Cook dinner
And love what you have.

Some day soon
You will wake up old
Listen to this angel of logic
And do what you've been told.

I love you.
Apr 2019 · 158
Choose
kromwellfarkus Apr 2019
Before I begin, I'll finish my can,
Sweetest crush beside others laid slain,
Roll a dart for good measure,
Painful pleasure.

Sparkinsons cure
Lights the way to the fuse,
Inhale and consume
Head spins,unfortunately resume.

The constant is resonant.

The background noun
As a half chewed minty,
Half chewed clown.

All is the same,
Yet not the same at all.

Speculation equals concern,
So, don't worry, be happy,
You cannot predict the outcome,
Of any scenario, not one.

You have four options...

Dig,
Breathe,
Drown or
Burn.

Choose.






I chose drown, just so you know.
Apr 2019 · 320
Sit.
kromwellfarkus Apr 2019
Sit.
Sit with me.
I do not want to talk.

Just, sit.

Everything's ******,
Everyone sux.

I too am fluent,
In silence.

See you tomorrow,
In reality or memory,
It doesn't really matter,

I'll still be here.
Mar 2019 · 231
Happiness vs Righteousness
kromwellfarkus Mar 2019
Do you want to be happy?

Or

Do you want to be right?

This is what he asked me,
On hole number nine.

Well, I said (with a head full of lead),
I want both of these things,
I have an opinion
And it's worth contemplation.

As he took his stance,
And positioned to hit,
On the back swing, he said,
Your opinion aint worth ****.

We argued back and forth,
Until the eighteenth,
Until he turned and said
So, you want to be right?

Silence as we packed our clubs,
Separate cars, straight to the pub,
I told him, fine have it your way,
He nodded and said,

See?

It's easier being happy.
Mar 2019 · 147
Amiss
kromwellfarkus Mar 2019
Something is wrong
Something is amiss
Deep within me
It doesn't make sense

Try as I might
Progress seems void
End up in a riddle
Alone and annoyed

Problems made mine
Which I may have made
Tickle and excite
Destroy and decay

I feel it deep inside
Between anxiety and clenched fist
Something is wrong
Something is amiss.
Feb 2019 · 167
Birthday 9.75
kromwellfarkus Feb 2019
Up at dawns crack
Smoke, coffee, ****, shower
Hi vis attire
Out the door.

Rock up at the office
Alarm, lights, air conditioning
Laptop, finish iced coffee
Begin the toil.

The blur soon ensues
Clouds behind masks
Behind eyes
Deep within clouded minds.

Cease the toil
Finish beer, Laptop
Air conditioning, lights, alarm
Leave the office.

On my drive home
I realise
It's my birthday
Continue to drive.

Birthday
Nine
Point seven five.

In the door
Hi vis attire
Shower, ****, coffee, smoke
Best get to bed
Up at dawns crack.
Feb 2019 · 159
No sleep for the righteous
kromwellfarkus Feb 2019
I wake up early, quietly excited,
As it is the last day of work.

I get to the workshop half an hour before due,
Just to get it done.

They all file in, around the same time,
Exhausted from a year of toil,
Cigarettes and insulting chatter,
As the kettle continues to boil.

Midday arrives, not soon enough,
They wait for my ok or my nod,
I set up my instant reply on email,
And close this ******* laptop.

On my feet, I give the wave,
They come sprawling in,
Advance to the fridge, straight to the beer,
Lets forget about work, and dribble some ****.

Twenty one days, away from this place,
Fingers crossed I don't get bored,
We share memories of terrible jobs,
And the endurance required to complete them.

Twenty two days later,
I unlock as the sun rises,
Sigh to myself and think back,
Here we go again...
Feb 2019 · 283
Fire smiles
kromwellfarkus Feb 2019
Sit in the fire and smile
Tell a joke
Make them laugh
All the while, burning.

A wink and a nod
Just to advise
The blood still flows
In veins amongst bones.

Collect routine days
As feeble forgotten memories.

It all builds
I feel it, building
Deep within
Rice paper skin.

I may errupt
I may contain
For now, sit in the fire
And smile.
Feb 2019 · 125
Shoes to fill
kromwellfarkus Feb 2019
I will be
The man you could not be
I will show love
Where you could not,
I will be there
For their recitals and events
It does not matter
If they couldn't see me.

I will be
The server of their meals
The cleaner of their dishes
The chauffeur of their adventures,
I will be
The healer of their wounds
Their teacher amongst their chaos
The silence in all the noise.

I will be
The father I never had
The pride when they introduce Dad
The strength when they are sad
I will be
A male role model
The angel on your shoulder
The smart **** remark to your stupid questions.

Just you wait kiddo
As you get older
I will always be here
To help you get stronger,
Just so you know
Your Mum taught me everything
Without her support and dedication
Our relationship would be nothing.

So, when you look to me
Know, that I look to her
As she is the key
To our comfortable open door.

Know that I love you
I'd sley any dragon for you
Regardless of what you put me through
I'd pay any price to see you happy.

Cos I'm your Dad
Your old man, the old boy
And I will break every bone in my body
For your pursuit of happiness.
Feb 2019 · 232
Blue collar
kromwellfarkus Feb 2019
The alarm goes off at five twenny two
My alarm is a Lion King song
When the sun rises...
In the movie, at the start, that song.

Coffee n smoke.

White n two,
In my peripherals,
Work kit beside the glass cabinet,
Waiting for me to shower.

Time ticks, hot water alarms
Triggers get dressed.

Wallet, keys, phone, smokes, lighter,
Check.
Rogie.
So... les go.

Turn the key
Slow revs
Try not to wake
The sleepin babes,
Music set to twenny two
From the nigh before
Down the road, I know
The best lane to sit in.

Iced coffee beside me,
From home fridge or servo,
Ciggy lit, right arm elby out the winda,
Enjoying the calm before the storm.

The code to the place
I spend most of my time
Is nineteen oh one
That's when I say good mornin,

To an empty warehouse.

An thats what begins
The start of each day
Of every
Working week.
Feb 2019 · 156
Earn
kromwellfarkus Feb 2019
Actualized dependencies
Total recordable injury frequency rate
Moving forward...

Go **** yourself.

I am suddenly "in"
Against my will
Amongst corporate drones
Forever on their phones.

Their sentences are cryptic
Their question are trivial
I sit there, complexed
Listening to their drivel.

Acronyms flow freely
From their forked tongues
I ask a menial question
Only to be scoffed upon.

As my brow furrows
And my chest tightens
I clench my fists
Withholding under the desk.

This is a boys club
Of overly cologned men
Clean cut with ***** paws
Suit and tie, the works.

It is my turn to speak
I stand and I ask
Were you lads always like this?
Who started this stupid stance?

I explain realistically
This is what affects our reality
These tasks and these problems
Are you lads even listening?

Once the silence gets too much
I take my seat
Every man in this room
Loses their job within a week.

They are given the flick
And I am given a raise
In high-vis, I carry on
Given obligatory praise.

I decline the raise
I spread it across my crew
As they are the gentleman
Deserving the recognition.

I return to my office
Answering emails and calls
Just another day
At big fat stupid work.
Feb 2019 · 106
Sapling
kromwellfarkus Feb 2019
I used to hold him in one arm
Now he stands just as tall
He measures his height against mine
To compare and gloat.

I used to be his number one
Kiss his sores and smack his ***
Now he's just on Instagram
Making friends with strangers.

I see through his silly lies
I understand his silly angst
I try not to get overly mad
To this son of Dad.

He tests my limits
Pushes my buttons
I enforce that he understands
Consequences to his actions.

It wont be long
And he'll be gone
My first born
And oldest son.

Already I miss him
And he's still here
I look forward to the day
We can reminisce over a beer.

He will join me
In work, as an electrician
I will teach him my ways
I will teach him everything.

When we knock off
And he comes over for dinner
Me and his mum
Will make sure it's his favourite.
Feb 2019 · 160
Glass heart
kromwellfarkus Feb 2019
This brittle heart I was given
Covered in glue and silicon
Bandages and sticky tape
Barely beats nowadays.

So easily hurt, damaged and bruised
So easily deceived, ***** and used
My outer is strong, focused and clean
Yet, my inner is lost in a weak mans dream.

You ask for help, I give it
You ask for monetary unit
You demand my love, but give back only angst
And I fall in a heap, despite all my strength.

I close my eyes, amidst conversation
And you see this as a misunderstanding
I am just gathering my wits, can't you see?
It's hard to think, with a head full of sea.

I try to get my point across
But you rant and rave and get cross
I swallow my pride and words
Just to appease your requirements.

So, here I am, on my own, with you all
Loving my life, yet hating it all
You don't care if I fall
As long as I pay every toll.

Well, *******, and your fickle ways
I have one last breath, just for you
As I flip the bird and walk out the door
You will see, only then, what you've lost.

This brittle heart is all I have
It still beats, it still does its thing
When I recieve your apology text
I'll try my best, not to reply.
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