She's younger than me maybe
She likes me, no conditions apply
I fall deep and stay deep
When I see her smile from her eyes.
Shes been through the ringer
A life many would've given up
But she pushed through, maybe for her kids
Maybe for the hope of true love.
I've made promises I intend to keep
A life we've chosen to live
I will love and adore, cherish and more
Than I ever will or have done before.
There are complications to endure
Issues to sift and sort
Movements to make, risks to take
And furniture to be bought.

Fuckn bring it.

I have made an ode to be the man
She has needed, never to forget
To share a life one hundred percent
And bring home the milk and bread.

Ive been here 3 weeks
And this pain in my head
Wont cease

I eat ok
And the drinking has slowed
Perhaps this pressure
Is due to work load

I awake at 5
I must sleep at 9
In order to get
The sleep I require

To awake at 5.

My kids don't miss me
My ex fukn hates me
Or maybe she doesn't
It's hard to tell...

My new love is all I have
We have plans I intend to keep
She is the first thing I think of
And the last before I go to sleep.

When I get home
I sit in my empty house
With nothing to do
For 2 days.

I sleep on the plane
I eat at the pub
I eat in my office
I eat in my car.

I have all this money
But no time
For love
Or life.

This is not living
This is an existence.

The buzz of the front bar
Ignites the senses
I am here
For the noise and movement.

This pain in my head
Still wont cease
And I've only been here
For 3 weeks.

Found love
There she is
On the other side
Of my phone

Screen shots
Texts and snaps
Messenger messages
Phone calls and face time

She is so far
Or is it me?

I will marry her
As, she is my queen
And I cannot be king
Without her

This torrid affair
Was not our intent
The heart wants
What the heart wants

Regardless

The pieces fit
So perfectly snug
Til when, til whenever
This is love.

Red light.

Breathe broken breaths
Clench tighter than before
Blink twice, just to hold back
Nuisance tears.

Disconnect eye contact
Take the deep breath slowly
To deter detection
Of the emptiness within.

Missed calls
Unanswered texts
Notifications mount
Too much for the weak angels.

Responsibility wolves
Gnashing their jowls
Drooling their expectation
Dog food breath on the back of neck.

Tiny frame tightening
Plastic teeth clenched
Eyes, now as bitter slits
Crumpled paper expression...

Green light,

Foot down.

Alone we sit, in stillness
On my shoulders you rest your weight
My sweet sorrow, my bitter tears
Endure this present state.

We talk of pasts and futures
Of nows and thens and ifs
Me mumble and stammer
But understand every word.

You cure my ills with confidence
Caress my soul with your aches
I commit to now and every day forward
Until the bow it breaks.

As days surpass into eves
I yearn for your warmth, your glow
As chaos decides which path to ****
Hold hands tight, my sweet sorrow.

I used to be ten
I had my first kiss then
Then I blinked
And I was forty.

I remembered her
But we drifted away
She remembered me
From so far away.

We lived our own lives
Trauma, pain and angst
Breaking and rebuilding
Finding our way.

We fell in love with others
We started our own families
But somewhere, out there
She still breathed and thought of me.

As fate would have it
I kissed her again
Sometime in July.

As destiny would have it
I loved her again
Sometime in August.

As my choices would have it
A decision is made
In my hearts mind
I'm hers, she's mine.