I must be a wombat
I must be a sloth
What if I'm a deformed toad?
What if I'm a lost moth?
Could be a panicked bunny
An uninitiated kangaroo
It's possible I'm a crustacean
Escaped from atop a barbeque
Whatever my face, whatever my fate
And whichever strengths bestowed
I wish it wasn't so **** hard
To cross the ******* road.

I missed her.
I did not mean to lose her.
I barely knew she existed
To begin with.

I remember her curiosity.
What makes people laugh?
Who is lying?
Who is fragile and sad?

She was erased
And I learned to be perfect,
But remained invisible.

I spent years as a husk.
I learned to die
Over and over again.

I barely knew she existed.

Even now, she is only
A faint outline.
But we are in touch
Every so often.

Radical to care
Radical in passion
Radical non-profit
Misplaced compassion
Radical aesthetics
Radical slowing
Purposeful rejection
Radical self-knowing
Beautiful cadence
Radical restarts
Radical vulnerability
And falling apart

When the dopamine hits
Tongue whips
Colours claw
My heart skips
I start to warm
To people, the outside
When the dopamine hits
Play, quips
Imagination is alive.

I am nine
Alone, home
My planetarium
Of marbles and a torch
Illuminates my bedroom

I am yet to know
My storied years
Yet to see my body
Riddled fear

I am nine
And I am innocence
Cross-legged on the roof
Pondering existence

I am scared of the dark
In love with ants
I read the dictionary
In front of the heater
Sans pants

I am nine
Alone, home
And I write for her
My silly little poems.

In my language
I am seen
I am known
In my language
I am home
In my tone
And at my pace
I will invite you
Into my space
In my language
In my words
I come alive
When I am heard
In my language
You will learn
The depth of me
And another earth

Yummy yummy power
Mummy made me sad
Ever naughty children,
Ever-watched, try
Earn the favour I never had.

Those sweet brown-eye kisses
For my paycheck princes
Stupid, of the lowly fishes
Drown, drown, drowns
In repetitions.

Gods in the heavens
Gods on boards
God's in our clinics
Fattened wolf of root cause.

Give me sharpened collars
And baritone opinions
Give me smiles, smiles!
For my dead-eye reptilians

Bile ***** in the mouth
And blood on each hand
Today's packed lunch for
Baby dumb-dumb
***** money sandwiches.

Stupid trudges, pulling hope
On a rope, full of rage
While Stupider Still
Laughs in blinding whiteness,
Bitcoin and real estate.

Stupid knows its coming
The white light cults built on
Columns of salt,
Prising the fingers of
Performative living
From around throats.

She hears the steady
Stream of evolution, unfazed
Flowing, flowing, following
the strongest river
Out into the untouched bay.

But who can wait?
Stupid will take her ****** sick days,
And in bed the flames of rage abate
She will eat her fill,
Maybe *******,
And she'll sleep the **** in till late.