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117 · Oct 2020
wolfman
John Destalo Oct 2020
nature is so
easily buried

beneath the
artifacts of man

their rules are
my structure

and I walk in
straight lines

and I step on
no cracks

but I know
when I meet you

you will change me
you will set me free

we will have a
relationship

like the wolf
and the moon
116 · Aug 2020
life boat
John Destalo Aug 2020
floating alone
in the ocean

there are two gods

the sun and
the moon

rule the
cloudless
sky

creating extremes
in feelings

and faith
bi-polars of

pure light and
deep dark

and what is clear
in these moments

that happiness
comes and goes

in waves
116 · Sep 2020
the fear of being seen
John Destalo Sep 2020
you see me
I can feel it

a disturbance
growing

like a ****

creating a
new form

you see me
I can feel it

a desire
growing

like a flower

wanting to
change me

making me
want to change
115 · Sep 2020
might fall
John Destalo Sep 2020
you said

the stars are silent
tonight

each one knows
it might fall

but they come
out anyway

maybe they talk
to each other

in their language
or maybe they don’t

you said I was
silent tonight

but I came out
anyway

and then you
held my hand
114 · Jun 2020
brainpower
John Destalo Jun 2020
like pieces of
broken glass

minds are
sharp

they cut your
insides

and shred
your skin

you bleed and
you cry

shedding
liquid

staining
material

things

meaning is
a solid and

a liquid

when I
spent too

much time
alone

with my
thoughts

they called
it suicide
114 · Aug 2020
a fading source of light
John Destalo Aug 2020
without heaven

the sky has
no secrets

the blue fades
into the deep dark

beyond the stars
and I realize they

are all dead
and I am looking

up and into a
the bottom

of a cemetery

my soul is invaded
by the scent of

dead flowers left
centuries ago

I am just catching
up to the past
114 · Jan 2020
a new memory
John Destalo Jan 2020
the net catches
everything and

releases nothing

there is a reason
we forget

but the net
never forgets

can you really
call something
that doesn’t forget

a memory?
113 · Apr 2020
love and hate relationship
John Destalo Apr 2020
I love words
when they are

handled with care
to nourish and grow

…empowerment

I hate words
when they are

used as weapons
to crush and destroy

…enslavement
113 · Dec 2018
trawling
John Destalo Dec 2018
and I think
I was alive

before

this net
captured
everything

about me
112 · Dec 2020
cold
John Destalo Dec 2020
he was cold
the kind that gets
deep inside your body
only you know it’s there
a slight sensation
of emptiness that
starts to grow like
something is slowly
removing you
from yourself
you start to shake
you can’t seem to
stop yourself
nothing gives you warmth
still no one notices
his presence
but you
and you can’t
explain him to anyone
and he won’t
leave you alone
or maybe he did
112 · Jan 2019
snap shot
John Destalo Jan 2019
letters dance
in violence

shed family blood
trying to break
eternal bonds

but they cannot
**** each other

they cannot die

my mind has
these worry lines

deep crevices

where blood flows
into tears
and nothing ever dies

and I live
like adam

with…one story

where I am
always falling
John Destalo Mar 2019
life was young
and chaotic

there was no
purpose to me

or anyone else
around me

so I left the
house early

searching the
whole earth

for one truth
to hold me

with sunflower stars
lighting my way

I hid my lonely heart
in those wild fields

singing the song
of the honey bees

searching for
nourishment

******* on
all the honey

hidden in the wild trees
111 · Mar 2020
a first poem
John Destalo Mar 2020
I cannot speak to you

so I will send you something
that contains my words

I will send you words
that contain my feelings

for you
111 · Apr 2020
swizzle sticks
John Destalo Apr 2020
asking questions
of power

stirring things up
making others

answer for actions

not saying what is
right or wrong

that is for others
to decide

just asking the questions

because honesty has
straight answers

it is clear water

it cannot be shaken
or stirred
111 · Feb 2019
a trip
John Destalo Feb 2019
We traveled in a capsule
to a distant galaxy,
to a far out land,
man.

We hovered above the jagged rocks
staring at undefined colors;
bouncing off crystalline images
of gods and goddesses frolicking in the island
mist.

The sun, oh the freaking sun,
it was an orange lollipop.
Tiny woodland creatures
played maypole around the stick,
a steady stream of warm water
cooled their furless skin.

We landed gently on the soft terrain;
exploring each other in a world hidden beneath
a blade of tall grass;
sunflowers dripped honey dew onto our tongues.

We played with headless creatures,
they were unburdened by
their brains
which floated in the space
above them.

Their brains were nothing more than
empty thought bubbles.
We used our bobby pins
to burst each and every one of them;

further unburdening the headless creatures.

As the headless creatures shed
their lifeless skin revealing candy hearts
with messages like “I love you” and “You’re sweet”

we ascended into the space
no longer preoccupied.
111 · Jan 2019
Universals
John Destalo Jan 2019
I: Impressions

I want to
love you
I want to
feel so many
things
that I don’t
instead of just this
one thing this
one jumbled
unidentifiable
thing, this…this…
monster on the inside
made from
the unfelt
parts of
emotions;
leftovers
of moments
not one of
which was fully
experienced.

II. Explosions

All was quiet
at the beginning
of time
the big bang
made no noise
a startling spectacle
of suddenness
it was all sight
and no sound
color was its
afterbirth;
a by-product
of chemicals mating
and procreating.

III. Inventions

the universe
was seeded by sounds
the wush
of a hand moving
quickly
through a dark cloud
the tiny fingers that
crack
as they grasp
for a meaning, any meaning
and a stiff drink to
glug
glug

I know something
out there has to resonate
something has to be
real

Doesn’t it?
Doesn’t it?
111 · May 2020
truth
John Destalo May 2020
there is a
loneliness

in truth

the path to get
there is hidden

and not easily found

and once found
it is jagged and

difficult to hold
onto and share

in any known
language
111 · Sep 2020
punk
John Destalo Sep 2020
the sound of
explosion

like big bang

the sound of
creation

immediacy
no space to

think

don’t wait
don’t hold back

crash smash
splish splash

silly or serious
the world is

your oyster
eat the pearl
110 · Sep 2020
kitty
John Destalo Sep 2020
a soul
cries

like a
kitten

too small
to feed

left for
dead

in this
angry
world

will it
find a

helping
hand to

pick it up
and feed it
110 · Oct 2020
the curse of memory
John Destalo Oct 2020
if we are open

each day is
a new world

nothing is
predictable

everything is
discoverable

waiting for
our experiments

to tease out
their little secrets

that make us
giggle with

surprise

if we are
not careful

we close our minds

so we only
see what

we saw
110 · Sep 2020
open
John Destalo Sep 2020
the window wanted
to be left open

all night
so it could hear

the night life
see the moonlight

feel the cool breeze
coming in from

the deep seas
it didn’t care

if it rained and
everything got stained

it wanted to be
open for everything
110 · Feb 2020
alphabet stew
John Destalo Feb 2020
I share my words
with others

whatever they
may be

and if you
were to

question me
about my words

if I was
to tell you

about my words
I would say

I dip my heart
in a stew of

sadness and
hope

and serve
whatever

comes out
110 · Sep 2020
always reluctant
John Destalo Sep 2020
I don’t want
all the words

to behave

I want them
all to mean

something
but not always

what I had
in mind

they can dance
to their own

beat

create a new
sound

tell a story
I never heard

I try to give
them the space

to grow
110 · Apr 2020
and
John Destalo Apr 2020
and
I think

there must be
something living

in me
a source

of all I have
to say and

I wonder

if I was to
find that seed

would I dig it out
to understand it

or leave it buried
and let it

continue to grow
109 · Apr 2019
thrown
John Destalo Apr 2019
we never
really start

there is no
gun that signals
our beginning

there is just this
one day when
we wake up
and seem
to know
a little more
than we did
before we went
to sleep
the night before

and all these
little pieces
of knowing
start to add up

and somehow
we start to know
we are
somewhere

and somehow
we start to know
we are
something

and through this
“process”
we have guides

the living and the dead
showing us a way

and some of us
are lucky enough
to have good guides

showing us
a right way
a way that works
not just today
but for all the
tomorrows we
we going to face

life is a continuous
organization, deconstruction
and reorganization of all
these disparate pieces and
parts of knowing

life is a puzzle
that is never
really finished

life is a problem that
can never really
be solved

and we are
thrown into
the midst
of all this
life

into the deep end

containing all that was
and all that is
and that could be
or could have been

and we are told to swim
when we don’t
know how

and we are told to swim
when we don’t
even know the meaning
of “swim”
109 · Dec 2018
A Wet Dream
John Destalo Dec 2018
At sleep,
I dream of dinosaurs;
a beautiful T-Rex.

I want to hold
her tiny hands
and tell her
everything will
be alright

as she licks my face
and we settle in
for the night.
109 · Feb 2020
leave me
John Destalo Feb 2020
tears are the
first to go

my heart is
marble

a bust of you
before you left

in quiet days
I am an implosion

little voice
inside my head

talk me through
tonight

whisper me to sleep

say a prayer
like you believe

in me
109 · Mar 2020
mistake
John Destalo Mar 2020
the past was
not perfect

and everyday
will be the past



the world is
not perfect

and we are
the world



I am broken
and maybe

I broke you

and if I say
I was wrong

will you

let me live
and learn

will you

let me be
a human

being doing
the best that

I can
108 · Apr 2019
confused
John Destalo Apr 2019
I asked her
everyday

to make me want

I just know I
can get

everything I want

but I lost
my want

so I don’t
get anything
108 · Apr 2019
the source of life
John Destalo Apr 2019
she looked so breakable

sitting inside herself
squeezing into a dark circle

she seemed to me to be

a star refusing to die
in danger of
becoming a succubus

the noise outside
was a hurricane

a pounding voice
begging for attention

thin strands of yellow
hair crisscrossed her sad face

trying to hide inside
the circle

she did not speak
even though her
body said she

had something to say

the noise outside
took up all her space

and she thought
no one noticed

but I noticed
I always do
108 · Oct 2020
enough said
John Destalo Oct 2020
for a few years
I had a mom

I wish it was
a few years

more
108 · Dec 2018
fathers and vampires
John Destalo Dec 2018
His blood,
as thin as he,
runs through me.

I am finally running out
of his
diluted memories.

Barhopping at ten
years old;
looking for him
on visitation Saturdays.

I knew what vampires
looked like…

…when you open
the doors
and the light
from a sunny day
shines in
and they scatter
because they think
I might
be looking for them…
107 · Jun 2020
alien
John Destalo Jun 2020
speak a treatise
on belonging

I thought
existence

into

the being
part of

human

birth is a
pressure

to escape
stillness

and peace
and every

day after
just continues

that path
a pattern

the longing
to return

at war with

the need
to move on
106 · Sep 2020
I wonder
John Destalo Sep 2020
if I shave a
bit off my brain

will I be normal
will I see less

will I be shallow

and be satisfied
with small talk

will I carry less
weight

and ask less
questions
106 · Aug 2020
a literal argument
John Destalo Aug 2020
I was afraid the day
you said

I did not understand
I do listen

I hear words and
their meaning

I see words as
they are spoken

as if they are real
and have substance

I do not hear
what you meant

to say

those are other
words that I

can’t hear or see
unless you say them
106 · Nov 2020
a flame
John Destalo Nov 2020
you are fire
deep heat
an ocean
of flames
you take breath
from me
suffocate me
in love and
lust
your skin is
fine china
delicate
vulnerable
I would not
expose you
to the elements
I save you
for those
special days
those days
we are together
105 · Aug 2020
what is forever
John Destalo Aug 2020
some words
don’t exist

they are phantoms

teasing our
tongues

invading our
souls

spreading through
our veins

making us believe
in them

so we will share
them with others

that is the only
way they

can live
because they

don’t exist as
anything else
105 · Mar 2020
ache
John Destalo Mar 2020
almost pain
not quite

a dull longing

the untouched
linger

in a train
of thoughts

holding
something in

squeezing tight
to a piece

of light

they believe
lives on

the other side
John Destalo Jan 2019
I

nature is square
the world is flat
and brown
the sun is a light
between cracks

my many legs
feel heavy as
I move
as if the earth
eroding
across this smooth
surface

everything must be
changing
but I can’t tell
the difference

restless

I try to rest
eating my bed in
small bites

I have suddenly become
obsessed with the
desire to sleep

II

dark creeps in
and wraps
around me

a snake

wanting to be
a new layer
of my skin

I want to resist

but I am without
willing movement

time recedes into
a singular

unending
moment

I feel a war raging
inside me

everything
that was me
fighting against
everything
I will become

I am forced to
surrender
to myself

resigned
to a truth

that what I will
become will
win and it will be
called me

as if nothing
has changed

as if no one
will notice

I have changed

III

I feel a warmth
nudge me

light slices
through the
heart of darkness

making sight
a first sense
once again

but meaning
still evades me

I feel movement is
still uncontrollable

so I do not fight
against what
will be

glorious
white wings
stretch
from somewhere
inside of me

lifting me
to this other
world

I rise with them
feeling as if I am
without limits

I am willing nothing
I am obeying everything
that is new

I am trying
to learn this
new way of
being

I am acting my way
toward living
as this new
version of me
I think I made up this word, but it seems to work
105 · Mar 2019
gentle breeze
John Destalo Mar 2019
When you forgot my name
last night,
it reminded me of the impermanence
of existing,
and the perilous ******* of words,
spoken or unspoken.

Words appear and disappear
in an instant
some remain long enough
to create bonds or barriers
but always disappear.

Three of these little words can
create waves that in one
moment caress the toes and then
collapse the lungs of the most
vulnerable places deep, deep inside
making a simple breath
painful.

I saw my name last night
hanging in the air
amongst all the previous words
of the night
and as I reached to bring it back
it was carried away by a gentle
breeze out the open window to the
darkened sky.

This gave me the freedom to
crawl back into the shadows and
observe.

I could see all the words
that night
as they hung in the air
each one
trying to remain,
jockeying for position,
but always being replaced,
some words hanging longer than others.

Then I found myself floating amongst
those words,
trying to find one I could grab onto,
to make mine.

I languished in the air
as each new word appeared,
I was bathed in the warmth of their breath,
massaged by the whirlpool
of interaction,
each word melting into the others
until they were without beginning or end
until I was without beginning or end,
nudged by a gentle breeze
toward the open window
to a darkened sky.
105 · Jan 2019
vortex
John Destalo Jan 2019
something is coming
cold and thick

like the arms of a viking

it is supposed to be
locked away
in the north
beyond the white walls

it didn’t escape
it was released

by another sinister being

a warm water being
thousands of miles
away from the wall

it isn’t supposed to be here
but it has been here before

it has a name
but it does not
respond when I

ask it to leave

it makes itself
at home

spreading itself
across our land

like distant relatives
in my living room
during the holidays
104 · Jul 2020
understudy
John Destalo Jul 2020
a dancer
dreams

of becoming
light

leaping
and lifting

through the
clouds

towards the
promises of

heaven
lighting

the darkness
that covers

everyone

becoming
a star
104 · Feb 2020
he is mean
John Destalo Feb 2020
I

using his words
as clubs

trying to beat
down his shadows

that keep popping up

he has so many
ghosts

even the
ghostbusters
can’t save him

II

he wants you
to call him

fearless leader
but he does not know

you cannot
lead from the rear

as an a**

III

who needs
“fixers”

people who
make a lot
of “mistakes”

and don’t
want to admit it

IV

he is mean

and in the end
he will face

his biggest fear

that history
will tell him

he didn’t
mean a thing
104 · Mar 2019
people please
John Destalo Mar 2019
people please
wake up

we can disagree
we need to disagree

democracy demands it

we are different
we want different things

we believe in
different things

but we need is
to understand each other

not agree with each other
we need to say

I understand where
you are coming from

but I don’t agree with you
and that needs to be okay

democracy demands it

we cannot give in to
the thirst for power

it is a disease
a contagious disease
it is spreading so fast

people please

fight it
love your neighbor as yourself
no matter what they believe

democracy demands it
I am an idealist; a watcher of the north star
I am a realist; perfection is a guide not a goal
103 · Mar 2020
left
John Destalo Mar 2020
a condition
not a direction
103 · Dec 2018
Swings
John Destalo Dec 2018
I am long legs and big feet.

She is lady-like,
legs crossed
and curled
under a skirt,
under a swing.

I push her away from me
knowing she will return.

I watch loose black strands
escape from the butterfly clip
and dance
ritualistically
across her neck,
frenzied and forbidden.

When she is alone
her eyes cry
but she doesn’t

yet know why.

My body is mechanical
like this swing
her body is natural
like the wind.

I can hear them calling my name
the older boys
the men
for softball softball
church softball

but I ignore them.

I can’t touch her yet
but I can talk to her
like I am.
103 · Apr 2020
achoo haiku
John Destalo Apr 2020
sprayed by her water
scared by coronavirus
I still say bless you
John Destalo Dec 2018
I knew my dreams were
dark
even when I believed

rage
is
a
disappearance
of
reason

I
cannot
stop

until
he
leaves
me

and afterwards
I
only
remember
feeling
cold

like there
was space
exposed

a window
cracked

a door
ajar
102 · Mar 2020
little song
John Destalo Mar 2020
she never spoke

sat on the floor
and played

with silver stones
made them dance

in circles

sparkling under
the lights

her voice was
a melody

of soft sounds

she never needed
words

to make sense of
everything around her

and everyone around
her understood
John Destalo Sep 2020
when I meet
a mind

I want to enter
there is a

mystery
I detect

a labyrinth
a laboratory

experimenting
sensorially

doesn’t matter
the sense

it is all
a natural

explosion
a big bang

ushering in
a new universe
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