I turned off
everything

on the outside
sound and light

creating dark silence

the shadows
slow danced

teasing

first alone then
together

they have
mystic rhythm

without sight
or sound

casting spells
inside of me

my mind starts
to whisper

all its voices
in unison

a choir

reminding me
of those things

I tried to forget

when it is alive

hope is so much
more than words

it consumes people
in the same way as power

only it gives power
to others

instead of hoarding
it for oneself

it is hard to breathe
life into hope

it has to be honest
hope smells a fake

and will become dust
and disappear

but when hope is
real in someone

and not just a word
it truly can lead others

to a place of healing

he was lost
in an old forest

young wolves
circling
smelling

his desperation

he spent years
building

his fortress
of thick skin

that nothing
could penetrate

that nothing
could escape

in this old forest
he was rigid

his cold
lonely body
shivering

unable to feel warmth

I remember
a boy who

could not swim
in water

so he would
escape into

a lake of ferns
he would crawl

silently and
imagine

becoming part
of the earth

he would lie
still for hours

no one could

see him in
the green

waves created
by the wind

they would
walk right

by him as if
he was just

another fern

is the secret
it opens all

the gates
not in a

way that
shows

obedience

in a way
that shows

hunger

to become
better

you are not
chained

to the answer

you are free
to disagree

and do as
you please

but asking
shows you

are open
and wanting

to grow

I am a playful beast

and I love to play
with words

the pieces of
a language

the keys to
understanding

your secrets
the truth you

buried deep inside

I want us to create
a new language

to tell our secrets
to each other

the secrets that
only we can

understand and share

time & space
are teachers

if we let them be

we need to see
each other

existing

in time & space
and know

we are constrained
we are flawed

we need to learn
to be better and

we really do
need to forgive

each other

the cost of
paper

we print

to solve
all our

problems

numbers
add up

but we can’t
count

that high

we don’t have
enough

fingers or toes
to pay

our debt

I know it is fading
there is more

weight around me
people trudge along

looking for conflict

creating a world
without laughter

I want to tap
everyone on the

shoulder and ask
them if they

remember how to
make a baby laugh

each night.  blackbirds congregate. on the roof.  below me.  I want to join them.  their religion.  or maybe they are still a cult.  as all religions are.  at the beginning.  until they get enough.  believers.  until they get enough.  power.  and influence.  to convince.  others to at least.  tolerate them. and then maybe.  join them.

I want to join them.

the blackbirds.  are still small.  in numbers.  but they look so peaceful.  they don’t move.  for hours.  they must be in.  prayer or meditation.  I know devotion takes time.  and I am willing.  to devote my time.  to whatever they worship.  to whatever they believe.  I want to be a blackbird.  congregating on a roof.

we are at the age
when nature speaks

and we reach

for the green at
the top of the trees

all the voices

that should know
promised me

it hurts more
today than

tomorrow

I want to
believe them

but heart pain
is not like

bone pain
doctors don’t

know the cure
and while the

heart as an *****
is well known

the heart as an
instrument of love

is still a mystery

little one dreaming
her mind is a

phenomenon

her heart is a
balloon

she runs wild
against the wind

and always wins

she just learned
to whistle

with her lips

now she thinks she
is a birdie

I hope she learns
to fly

today

we do not know
the future

we do know

it will be different
than the past

ice is melting
glass is shattering

the pain of
the planet

matches

the pain of
the people

none of us
are perfect

but we need
to learn how

to heal if
we want to

live as

the people
on this planet

the nuts in
my head

are cracked
the squirrels

are feeding
getting fat

on the
smorgasbord

there is a virus
biological

it is new
it is information

our bodies
cannot process

it replicates
rapidly

to survive
not to **** us

there is a virus
cultural

it is not new
it is information

our minds
refuse to process

it replicates
rapidly

to **** some
of us

which one is
more dangerous

which is one
is really making

us sick

I love the
way it sounds

so many
syllables

it is more
than a name

it is musical

it plays
with my
tongue

it begs to
be sung

I wish I
knew someone

named penelope
so I could

sing it
everyday

I blow out candles
before I sleep

the flames try
to fight back

then turn to smoke
and disappear

I am alone in the dark

I am one of those
who think too hard

I break so many things
with my thoughts

some might have
been valuable

I don’t know

it is hard
for me to know

I am holding on
by a frayed thread

I can hear the
tearing

one by one
as I fall deeper

the universe is filled
with messages

the sounds of wonder
a reaching for something

else

a search for connection
a language we understand

attempts to communicate
with other worlds

we all live in other worlds
we are all aliens

floating alone in this space
unidentified lonely objects

the city is bleeding

using needles to
drain the pain

of so many same days

we play with organs
like instruments

feel them weaken
under the pressure

mosquitoes bite
just for the fun of it

we let them have
their fill

watch them
enjoy their feast

then fly away slowly
just for the fun of it

our mouths are
gaping holes

of sound

neck stretched
to see

elongated
is one of
my favorite
words

curves hold
your tilted

head

are you
thinking

about
someone

or something

I hope it is
something

or me

I did not
it was not me
I never would
if I did
I would tell you
you can trust me
don’t listen to them
they don’t know you
like I do
they don’t love you
like I do
baby don’t worry
I’ll always be
here for you
we were meant
to be
you’re the only
one for me
you trust me
don’t you
baby

is anything more
painful than

holding in
the pressure

building
in any part

it doesn’t
matter which

everything needs
to be released

is anything more
painful than

holding in

the clouds
know the answer

we follow the wet
into the wilderness

we collect raindrops
on our tongues

and hold them
as long as we can

we savor nature
she is our mother

we dip our heads
in cold water streams

and wait until
we can’t breathe

we love the color blue

she has her
way with words

she is honest

she must be
connected

to herself
feeling through

the layers we
build around

ourselves
to the core

of what it
means to be

her

it takes time
to choose

what

it takes time
to understand

why

it takes time
to learn

how

she has devoted
her time

wisely

long white
neck stretching

towards the
moon

delicate
silk

angelic
light

surrounds
the sound

your voice
lifting

my heart

slowly
vibrates

me to
sleep

I walk amongst you
I want to say

I am you but you
never let me get

close to you

I want you to know
I am skittish

like you I am
afraid of being seen

I want to run to my hole
climb my tree
fly to another branch

when anyone gets
too close

but you never
let me get

close to you
to tell you

how I feel
close to you

the geese are
returning

early this year

it was not that
cold this winter

the vortex did
not descend

upon us

and hover
over us

endlessly

everything was
not frozen

in place

and even with
all this relative

warmth around me
it does not

enter me

I am not
so happy

this year

I break myself
in half

to find the pit
the *******

that holds the
soft parts

together I want
to remove it

I want to destroy it

I don’t want
to be whole

I want to be
a juicy mess

that drips
off chins

and stains
everything

I know these people

they create sounds
from deep inside

so deep

they sing to me
their magic spells

make me feel
deep inside

so deep

and in these
shorter days

too many of my
favorite stars
have died

so soon

wants to eat me

the ravenous
dog

denied
every
desire

it is
still chained

but just barely

sharp
teeth
meeting
violently
chomping
on the air
around
my face

they are
the perfect
killing
machines
killing
perfection
in me

a slobbering
chaotic pink
tongue
trying
to find

the words
to whisper
to me

and I hear
voices

behind
my back

talking

telling me
either
I am nothing
or I will

become
nothing

when they
are done

with me

be not simple
say not what

you mean

so on her toes
she will remain

not knowing
who you are

not knowing
what you want

you cannot be
understood

so that you mean
nothing to her

her body is
a rubber band

stretched beyond

her voice is
a snake

quietly

biting my lips
injecting

poison into
my veins

paralyzing me

I cannot speak
she has made me

so I do not want
anymore

I only need more

onstage

I paint
a smile
create
a mask
it is
my gift
to you
to make
you laugh

offstage

each
moment
I live
ends in
tiny
deaths
tiny
pieces of
me
disappear
when you laugh

asks questions
without

question marks
you do not

understand
that is the start

shed your first
layer of knowing

scratch yourself
pink and raw

do not let it
scab or heal

there are so
many layers

to go

it is more
painful the

longer you wait

wake me when
I’m gone

what is gone?
have I disappeared?

or am I lingering
in your heavy breath?

I am living in your
sudden memories?

do I mysteriously
appear in a dream?

am I still your fantasy?

what is gone?

the place I
dream of

belonging

a battle between
dark and light

people with weight
trying to

become enlightened

music with meaning
creates a background

where everything aches

voices dance and
bodies bend

chaos is choreographed
and life and death

tell their own stories
immortality stays young

by feeding on
generations of

disillusioned youth
even the sun has

dark spots that
can’t be explained

she holds my hand
when I cry

and strokes my head
gently like
a cat asleep
in her lap

she says I am
her sensitive fool

her court crier

feeling more than
I should

more than anyone should
shedding tears she

can’t

her position won’t
allow it

she says I keep
her soft enough

to lead humanity

his words
couldn’t dance

they stumbled
one over the other

they had no
cadence

they had no
rhythm

the mind
like the body

moves to
a flow

and truth
flows

lies are
nervous

and have
no balance

a brain that
doesn’t still

shivering
from life

in a

cold water
shower

paint the
rain blue

so it matches
my soul

we are those
lost in the

the pain
of early

loss

broken before
we grew all

our parts

so we never
felt whole

love is
an angel

the devil
was an

angel

love can
fall hard

we must
learn to

forgive

it is a gift
we can give

if we choose
expecting

nothing in
return

I know
it is hard

but it is
softer

than the
fall

especially
when we

hold onto
everything

the politician
speaks

twists
words
clumsily

not like
a poet

he does
not

see their
beauty

he does
not

feel how
sensitive

they are
they cry

each time
he opens

his mouth

they die
each time

he speaks

you tip-toe
through this

world

living on
an arched

soul

bent not
broken

you want
the world

to hear you
but you are

scared your
speech will

quake the
earth

and nothing
will ever

be the same

I wake to a buzz then
go back to sleep

for a few more hours
the day is too long

anyway

it squeezes the darkness
from the night

tries to make me
pretend to be happy

but I am the moon

cool blues
deep oceans
long nights

a howl

below a genus

we share something

at some level

we are the same

and at some level

we are different

we can choose

what we see

but we can’t change

that at some level

we are the same

the enchanted land
sweet fairy dreams

and soft ice cream
all sound is pleasant

and all people are
peasants

sharing the land
with each other

growth is measured
in understandings

and we listen
to each other as

if we have two ears
and one mouth

and all humans
live as if

they are humane

she is

a scratch in
the back of
my throat

I cannot
cough her
away

she is not

contagious
it seems

only I am
infected

we speak
but we do

not speak to
each other

we are dogs
looking for

our own
old raggedy

bones to
chew on

your voice so rare

the depths of which
are still unmatched

your words spark
longing in me

a longing for life

an eternal flame
that warms my soul

I will never cease
listening to you

to feel all of me
in your simple words

rest now soulful man

her form was
shapeless

like a dancer

she moved in
spiritual ways

her soul lived
on the surface

she was a child
of a god

she could be hurt
but not damaged

she spoke pure
like water from

a cold stream

her eyes radiated
creating energy

I lost myself in
the color pale blue

and when
she disappeared

I could not
find myself